The routine is always the same.
The bedroom door closed
Music so loud that
My scream cannot be heard  
One thing leads to the other
Before I know, I have tears down my eyes and a razor in my hand
I don't know how many times I promised myself that it would be the last time
Minutes later I hate myself
Why was I so weak?
I regret it with all my strength
But its the only thing that temporarily eases the emotional pain.
I wish I didn't do this,
But there I am again,
Closing the door and let emotions flow just like the blood down my wrists...

I just want a hug
No questions
No whys
Just hold me for a few seconds
Let me feel your peace
And calm my soul

I look at the blank page
That is inviting me to write
I have a whirlwind of feelings
But no words to describe
I look for an emotional story
But nothing comes to mind
This is the time that the poet
Doesn't know what else to write
Lost his power to turn
Everything easier with a dozen rhymes
And a not so happily ever after ending
Now asks the poet
If the rhymes ran way or were stolen
Stolen by those who never read or value them
And so the poet stayed
With a blank sheet and a troubled soul

Stay strong
Is not as easy as they say
How can you stay strong
When you can barely stand up
How can you stay strong if the world pushes you down
Why even try if every step only brings more pressure
Every corner another monster to be defeated
How can I fight it if my forces have been drain
How can I overcome this if no one helps
"stay strong" they say
How can I 'stay' if I've never been strong

I am heading out tonight without direction
Everything is a blur
I can feel myself loosing control
I am stuck in traffic, don't know where to go

There's no one to guide me
This path is just too long
I look at the map for guidance, but it's written in gibberish

These streets all look the same
Where should I go?
Which path should I take?
When there's no one to show me the way

Another day begins and I feel the same
What will I have to do to change?
I can't no longer stand
The silence around me has never been this loud

I could go left, but where is that going to lead me?
I could go right, but what future is that going to give me?
All I know is that
Everything is going to be alright
Because I have God here by my side

I spent the days imploring to our Lord
To take my life
Because my soul didn't deserve salvation
At night in my room,
hidden,
quietly crying,
praying that in the morning my eyes would open no more
Regularly in my hand was a blade.
Rebuking,
Punishing my body
for the infinite faults I saw.
Each day my world darker.
With no solution.
Far away I saw a light.
Small and little it lid.
But the more I believe the more it grew.
Then I realised.
He was always there,
my selfishness blinding me from the truth.
I was scared to give myself to the Saviour
but in the end I understood,
that was no blade that was going to save me, no punishment to make me feel better.
But only a question of faith. Was I going to open my eyes for a new day?

It isn´t what you said
That hurt me the most
But the things that you
Didn't say
But even that doesn't hurt
As much as the way you look at me
With that ***** look of yours
When i am lacking
Lacking a hug
When sadness has taken over me
My eyes filled tears
I can't fake a smile anymore  
Tears keep rolling down
It's getting worst
And you know it
"It's not my business"
You say
As you leave me to drown in my tears