I've heard "when it rains, look for rainbow" but I found nothing but the black flashing clouds and deafening thunder
Only knowing this storm was just getting closer
Making the lights go back and have vision come from there midnight flashes in the sky
Only for a second
Later, I have to wait and see for anything to come over me and I know rainbows don't exist during the devil’s hour
Only empty melodies that we grasp onto just to do something or get us through the night
Having whispers and dreams infest our mind making it seem like the thought is our own
For if it rains there might be a rainbow but not in this storm, not until the thunder fades and the sky begins to open up, freeing us from all we've done and that whole sleepless night
And the memory's we won't forget seeing ourselves in the mirror with candles that flicker just getting lost in ourselves and within our mind
I find nothing that we realized before, only that we've been lying to ourselves and to out God
Noticing how the wind only keeps are secrets and for her wisdom, few can speak
I notice how the rain and wind fight and scream at one another
And whenever a secret is lost, a rainbow is visible to our eyes, so we know where it landed, died, and then faded

Can we find release in grief or are we all just lost?
I'm lost in this chilling breeze
And the in crickets that never cease to sing
All throughout the night

I'm staring at the ground cause, I don't know if I can spend another night crying to the heavens
Or only see the empty black sky
And whispering my thoughts to the wind hoping it would reach anyone
It's hard to have the conversation I need to have with someone
Closure and clarity or whatever I said I need

It's haunting out here surrounded by the trees and everything this night gives to me
Making me shiver till I go numb in my hands, feet, and face
Maybe I'll just take a little nap
My eyes grow tired and I don't want to go home yet
I'd rather fall asleep here and die trying to find whatever it is I'm trying to find then be alone in that house

Every day I look for a reason to live or to be alive
I would just find these distractions just to keep my mind off it
Isn't that how people are?
Finding distractions to escape their thoughts and their reality?
Many don't even know they are doing it

******* why can't I move on from my thoughts and myself
If death came standing over me, I'd get lost in the void of his eyes and in his presence

I think I lose myself every day just to see if I can take myself apart and put myself back to together or want help from someone cause, I just don't want to feel or be alone
I'll force myself to get this relief when I'm with someone and when they're gone I break myself
I'm forcing my own pain and causing myself to feel this way