I’m on to you
You only come out when it’s 58 plus degrees
‘Anything Helps’
Replaced
‘Army Vet’

Saw you get up one day
And go to your Ford F-150
And drive off

Saw you today
Making the gullible feel
Good about themselves
By giving you $1, $2,
Whatever they have
Cause
‘Anything Helps’
‘This Army vet’

‘Keep it centerpiece in your life’
‘Respect its power’
‘If only your dad...’
Grandads last words
.
Just a portrait of a man
Darkened features
Staring straight ahead
Wiry hair
Eyes I never liked looking
Into
Moonlit backdrop
.
Did as grandad said
Years passed
Kept it at the end of the hall
At a height of where his
Head would be
.
And at the lowest times of my life
Separations
Death
Thoughts of my own demise
Failures
I’d look down that dark hallway
To see
A silhouette form
Around the frame
A man
Drunk and enraged
I cursed at it
‘You are nothing to me!’
Only to see its eyes
Turn red
Turn back again to see it
Go back
Once again
.
Thrown it out
Torn it apart
Burned it
Only to find it
On the wall
The next morning
.
And one day
After I’d lost everything
After decades
Of failure
Loss
Torture
But never looking at it during that time
I looked down that darkened
Hallway
And
The portrait
Was me...

And if they still love you
When you’re drunk
You must have a loveable face
Tell good jokes
Make good drinks
Or
All of the above...

A man at 40
I can honestly say
Still in love with the woman
From when I was 20
Two decades
Twenty years past
10+10
Drive past the house you grew up in
Hoping
Praying
That you’ll come out of it
Our tree is still here
Our initials too
EK
EL
What’s gone
That restaurant we held hands in
That gravel road we made love on
Is paved now
Your old phone number
Just rings and rings
That shirt you bought me
On my 21st
Probably in a landfill
That shoebox full of our Polaroids
1998
Selfies
Gone too...
But you
So far away
Close to my heart
On good days
Are gone too

I like to send pings out into
The galaxy
Dressed as poems...

...hoping you’ll come back with them

It’s been two years
Since I was your husband
And yet you still talk
To me
On the phone
With your usual belligerence
How I don’t do this
Don’t do that
All
Revolving around money
I wasn’t a bad husband
I just had you for a wife
Never hit you
Adored the ground you walked
On
Was never drunk around
Our kids
Tucked them in every night
With
‘I love yous...
‘You’re a part of me...
‘I’m a part of you...
Now gone
Because you turned into
A Christian Demon
Donating our money
Without telling me
And now you’re asking
For more
Like we’re still
Married to each other
‘You can’t divorce me again’
I tell her
‘I’ll give you an extra $30
‘If you say ‘I DON’T OWN YOU! ANYMORE!’
She tells me to go **** myself
And hangs up
As I go get a $30 bottle of wine
For the night...

So many...
Useless lives being
Lived

The Food Picture People
The Instagram ***
The Facebook Ranter
The Twitter 50k Followers

No furthering of the mind
No intellectual thought
No calamity heroes
To pull us from fires

Just empty dull comic books
Colliding with
Empty dull comic books

On a rock
Hurdling through space

Years travel densely
Hibernation
Comparisons
Conversations
But none truly compare
In and out of our
Lives
Not really giving second
Thoughts about them
.
Putting words down
Once again
Reactions
Familiar roads I’ve been
Down with you
Admiration
Subtle nuances
The way your tree
Sways this way
And that
I could be blind and I’d
Still know every inch
Of your body
Flung into the icy seas
And still know the taste
Of your kisses...
Do all old lovers talk like this?

We’d been fully awakened
By the thought of being empty
4am
Plus several minutes
Of being let go
Set adrift
In a ruptured tidal wave
That we’d never prepared for
Blue washed over us
And I held on as long as I could
Riptide
Pulled us apart
Undertow of time
Pebbles and wet sand
Now underneath my feet

Listen
Do you hear the tide release?
All through the night
Watching wooden ships
Crash into the reef

I’ve got about 20 years to live
Which, for being in my 40s
Is quite bold
People live well past 100 these days
Those with safe routes
Golden paths
Four year college degrees...
.
I drink a few gallons of wine a week
*****
Tequila
But can still run 10 miles
Without stopping
What a strange dichotomy
That woeful mixture
Could be an elixir for some
But it just stresses, strains, depresses, anxiously evolves
Festers
.
At this age you know
The loves who’ve come and gone
and with that admission  
Cynical wit adorning
You’ll know by now
That there truly was only one
And by that, the blood
That pooled, that never clotted
Mighty river
Will someday take you
Drown you bit by bit
Daily
.
For I’ve never been accused
Of being a good man
Men like me die alone
Gutters
Halfway houses
1 bedroom apartments
With one couch
Men like me jump out of windows
Drown in rivers
Of blood that never clot
Waiting
For your hand
To save me
.
20 years is pushing it...

It’s amazing how the world keeps spinning even though it’s ‘smartest’ inhabitants are going thru a calamity...suns still set, animals walk freely, oceans still churn currents, stars explode every night...
.
This world would be a literal heaven without humans...
.

...all a woman needs to hear
...is that you’re unhappy
...in your current relationship
...for her to justify
...why she continues to
...pursue you

So I’ll wait here
Where you left me
Fending off the wolves
Waiting for your return

Your train

Hoping
Praying

You’ll get here
Before Death does...

Thing of it is:
All of this madness
Drunkenness
Nightmarish requisites
Emblazoned pasts
Ego driven wired infantile
Screaming fire breathing
Snakes in the grass
Forest fire
Tsunami
Earth scorched
Man...
Can be tamed
Forever
.
By only one soul
One touch
One fire
One
Vermont Cabin in the Woods

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Make the most of your days
For you truly only get 20-30
Beautiful ones
The days you remember...

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Make the most of your nights
For everything after midnight
Is either evil or an adventure...

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Put your feet in faraway oceans
Revel in the laughter
Of your children
For you only get them
For only so long...

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Kiss your mother’s forehead
Hold her hand
Tell her you love her
Forgive your father
Cry for great music that
Sings to you

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Love someone unconditionally
Forgive yourself for being
Who you are
Live with it
Let the worst of your thoughts
Turn to something else...

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...
Watch the morning come up
The full moon turn to blood
Clouds race across the sky
Lightning streak above your head

Make the most of your bones
Before they turn to dust...

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR BONES
BEFORE THEY TURN TO DUST...

Nowadays love is an unattainable
Idealism
Between two people
Who’ve never met
Wrapped in ‘what ifs’ and
‘what could be’
Lying in lies next to someone
You could physically love
Kissing them hello & goodbye
Everyday
Decaying, Rotting, Effervescent
Eradication of Soul
.
But
‘What If?’
‘What Could Be?’
.
Goodnight kiss
.