Catch yourself looking back
It’s okay
There’s good memories there too
You have to sift
Rearrange
Move about
This and that
Resisting the urge
To reach out to say
You’re sorry
For how it ended
For…
How you moved on
Resisting the urge
To reach out and say
There really was love
‘Between you and me…’
.
Then you put all the stuff back
In its place
Rearrange
Move this and that
Where you found it
Memories
The years
Piled up
Pull down the door
Lock it
And come back to it when you want to
Because you don’t live there
Anymore…
And yet you place your hand
Once more upon the door
And hope nobody saw you…

You can never pick back up
Where you left off
Even if you both believe it
Even if you both want it
More than anything
.
Too many days and nights
Have passed
Too much hurt that cannot be
Bandaged
Those open wounds
Become but a bookmark
In your soul
.
Just watch that ship
Go by you in the night
There’s no one at the helm
Anyway…

I’ve broken 4 shoelaces in my life
I’m getting on closer to 50 now
Than I’m closer to say 23…
.
I probably have 2 broken shoelaces left
In me…

I’m most likely going to hell
For all the wrong I’ve done
If such a place exists
I know I’m sorry
Forgive me All
.
But I’ll go quietly
Knowing
I loved a beautiful woman
And I know she loved me back
Soft and sweet
I know these things
Because of All the Beautiful Things
We’ve said to each other since
We parted…
Years before

How disconcerting is it
To go to a therapist
Knowing something is wrong
Spilling it all out
Confession after confession
Guilt, agony, sadness

Only to hear him say
‘You’re the sanest person I know…’

Terrible business to be
In a doomed relationship
Especially when you’re
The only one who knows
It’s doomed…

I love when you write
That perfect sensibility
That comes about
Every nuance covered
Your changing of season
Your moon rising so bright
So full, so womanly
For everyone you want to see it
Lucky me, I say, for it makes me
Journey back to beautiful
Downward
Past time
Past demons still chained where I left them
Cobwebs
Rusty steps
To where your fire still burns
7 floors down
Everlasting flames
That never needs tending to
Where you
Are you
And you never need explaining
Why you have the need to be who you are

I love when you write

I warm myself by your love filled fire
From time to time
Never having to ask permission
Watching and hearing your embers crackle and then go dancing high up and into the night…how beautiful a sight

How beautiful a sight