Someone told me once
‘When you get to the point in the sea of life where you’re avoiding the jellyfishes, then the answers will make sense…’

And so I got to that point
The jellyfishes stung me
This way and that
Instead of avoiding them
I went straight into them
Wading into their part of the water

Enjoying the stings
That made me feel alive
Made the blood flow once again
Because I needed the pain
Perhaps
Or I just keep looking at my empty palm
Where your hand should be
And nothing can hurt as much as that

Things don’t make sense even in the jellyfish part of the sea of life when you’re the cause of it not being there anymore…

Smells of coffee burning leaves
Waiting on you to arrive
First kisses
Looking into your beautiful eyes
‘My love…’
We always got that out of the way
And in the night
Opened the windows
To let the cool air in
The city sounds
Around
Surrounds
And return to bed
Where your arms and body were always
Warmer

Memory of a morning
That time after we had climbed a mountain together
Sunday
You were leaving soon
And we listened to soft old jazz in my bed
As we slept
Memory of a morning
Now gets bluer as the years go by
The room darker as if it were dawn
Neon
And I held you and kissed your little red tattoo behind your ear while you slept
Because I knew you’d be gone soon
Hours
And I’d keep your side of the bed clear
And hold your pillow for days until your scent left
Missing you like I miss you now
Memory of a morning
Was going to take them all and walk them into the sea someday
Never thought I’d ever sing in your ear again…

She got herself a cat
And moved on with her life…

You showed up on a hot day in June
Said you were in town
Looked into your eyes for the first time
The toothpaste had already been out for awhile
Couldn’t put it back in
Put up or shut up time
And it just clicked. There it was in some 7-11 parking lot off Havana St
I could tell how much you loved me
And how much I ruined it for us
I wrote a book and released it on June 21st
Sending pings out into the galaxy
Well dressed words that I’d hoped would act as a comet
Hoping you’d come back with them…

One day it’ll have been years

And I hope I am forgiven then…

The world is so sad without you in it…
I say to nothing
And receive nothing back

Easy to say
Harder to comprehend
Nothing can be worse than rejection

This is all your fault
Anyway

Thinking you can have it all
Only to throw it away
Not measuring the pain of a future staring into an empty wall and saying

‘The world is so sad without you in it…’