I wandered into a cave the other day
It was hollow and dark and damp and dank
I threw a stone into the empty grey
I smiled and turned as if I had someone there to thank

I explored the space with a candle and a stick
I cranked my neck down to the rocks below
I utterly uttered a name that made me sick
The haunting sound made a resonating echo

And for some reason I waited, expecting an answer
It wasn't long before, again, I saw I was alone
I knew that I wasn't exactly the second-glancer
But that's why I fell when you cast the first stone

That's why I sat at the bottom of a cave shivering, shaking
Waiting for an excuse to drag me back to my real life
To go from a rock ridden home to a home that's breaking
To go back and pick up my burden of strife

And on my way out I saw a drop fall and a waveform
And on my way out I saw a shimmer against the darkness
And on my way out the rain kissed my face like a perfect storm
And on my way out I knew there was a light I could harness

My cell phone screen lights up
Like my face when I see your name there.
But I don’t have enough storage
For the conversations our texts hold.
And I’m running out of data
From googling all your references.
The family plan isn’t good enough
For the family we could start.
And Snapchat can’t keep the memories
I’ve kept of you and me.
You can’t make digital eye contact
But if you could, we do, all the time.
And there aren’t enough keys to type
About how well I know you.
And there aren’t enough emojis to express
The raw emotion we’ve shared together.
But I cracked my screen today...
and I cut my finger on the glass.
Because texting you instead of seeing you
Is a mistake in more ways than one.

Me
That word; it’s poisonous to us
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
“That’s so me.”
“He hurt me.”
Me
I don’t know what to do with that word
I don’t know why I feel that way about
That word
Me
It’s something we say every day
It’s something we feel every day
It’s something we worry about all day
Me
It’s the problem we all have
It’s the problem none of us can fix until
We hit rock bottom and then that’s all we have left
Me
“Me and you.”
“It’s selfish of me.”
“It’s difficult for me to...”
it’s someone I’m stuck with
It’s someone I don’t want to know so well
It’s someone I want others to get to know
Me

Hey...
I know it's been a long time...
That may even be an understatement but...
I-I just wanted to, uh...
Well, in all honesty, I guess I don't really know, I just...
I never got to tell you something you needed to hear.
Something you should keep in mind.
Something I need to say out loud before it ruins me.
I-
I miss you.
Not in a particularly romantic sense, I just miss everything.
I miss the way you made me feel...
The way you treated me.
Even though I knew you were-
You made me unhealthy.
You made me sick.
You made me hate myself more than anyone else ever did.
But I still feel like I need you to make me, me.
I'm in disgust of myself with and without but...
At least when you're with me I can stand to look at myself.
You make me feel beautiful...
Um, anyway...
I really shouldn't have said any of that-
I should go...
But thanks for letting me stop by.

-My stay with starvation

Your versatility makes me weak in the knees.
You're as subtle as neon and as patient as a hungry child.
You're as soft as sandpaper and as approachable as a kiss.
You can be everything and nothing with whatever I decide.

You're the most intimidating thing I've ever seen.