He's on the outside
Deep within the confines,
Inside his own mind
Mind-expanding from pole to pole
What he touches, what he feels.
What's real?

He consumes
Straw, in the Earth's core,
******* to taste and see
He tries navigate with soul
Navigating his world,
a world away from me

He took my world from me,
My world
in his blood stream
I can hear the screams

He's hemmed in by societies that can never know him
Looking on the scarred skin, superficiality
Try to explain his fatal peculiarity
Societies can't walk in his world,
Never walk within his skin
They can understand pyschology and try to explain,
But he can't feel their pain
No human instinct works that way

He took my world from me
My world's in his head
My world is dead.

Should we freeze him in ice?
Looking at a freak show
of glassy horror
A blank face, behind the make-up
we don't know

It's no animalistic, atavistic base place,
There's no human instinct that can explain.
How he walked our world, but ran a different race,

Alien, Upside down, The wrong way round, This ****** up clown
His inhuman race finds a place when a switch flicks the wrong way in a brain
There's no way to explain,
That he doesn't understand your pain
He ****** your world into his sick **** circus,
Feeding innocence to the Lions,
across lines that in his mind
just aren't

Once,
He was innocence,
There is no innocence,
There are no lines
A clown,
Without laughter,
No sense
There is just sensation,
Just living,
A clown without laughter,
Living and fighting,
natural disaster

A straw in the Earth's core,
My world is never safe
The world at individual war


He took my world from me,
My world
in his blood stream
I can hear the screams

He took my world from me
My world
In their eyes,
closed to passing time

He took my world from me
My world
inside his head

They died.

My world is dead.

Memories haunt me,

Macabre slideshows,

In my mind



They twist and taunt me

The happiness,

That’s lost in time



The future looms

It’s soon to be,

Trapped within my memory



If it’s good I feel at ease

The outlook’s bright,

I smile.



Else I’m down

Upon my knees,

I drown in self denial.

My World feels so small
As I am trapped by these walls
And the shutters are closed
And the ceiling, it falls

The scale of the tiredness
Far past,
the last resort
Has been growing
And growing
As the world will distort

Relativity takes a hit

The room tightens its grip, clenching
It’s crushing my bed
A vice of the void,
There’s no space in my head

The crunching timbers steal my breath
And crush what life they still can find
But I will wake, to live bereft
These cruel chains, are in my mind

You my cure,
a painkiller, a drug?
Delirious consumption.

Being around you
Let me forget
From thought, to happiness
I immersed myself in you
But the illness progressed

No plateau
No recreation,
As I sipped your words and tongue,
I was slipping
Sliding your syringe
Piercing, my skin
Everyday, of every week
The obsession would spiral,
But never peak

And everyday was a day away,
From the antidote I seek

I stole the timbers of my life
To fuel the fire of my addiction
And as everything crumbled,
And became less
My illness still progressed

I lit it,
And it flamed,
My pyre

But the beauty of your fire-lit face,
Engulfed my world,
And left me higher

What is the difference between love and addiction?
So little, but love seems the greater affliction.

1) The world scorns me
Without reason
No Blood, upon my hands

The guilt destroys me,
Without reason,
Thoughts fight, sense disbands

I am spinning
in the mist,
and Catching
glimpses as I twist

As spectres
smother my existence
Hiding joy
and warping distance,

Trivialities
are manifest
Drunk on self importance,
dressed
Clinically,
and all in white
Anaesthetists,
I feel no light.

Hold me now and show me
sense
I need a frame
of reference,

Joy, at times, will follow,
after
Let me know and
show me laughter

Show me love,
And tell me if,
Asking why’s
A dangerous gift.

*

2) We can never be free
Or unshackle the chain
Of cause,
and effect

We are never free
From the consequences
Of our actions,
unless

We break free
from our mind’s archives
Of shame,
and unrest

I live a half life
Hung up, on the thought of you
Every moment passing blurs
I don’t know what to do

Ever since I heard your laugh
And lost myself within your eyes
No one else has touched my soul
You’re are my truth, my life’s a lie

I cannot keep you from my mind
Fading nights, to day, tonight
I look to stars and think of you
I am no longer ruled by light

Lost, I follow all your signs
You are my night, you are my day
And the beauty of the world depends
On each and every word you say

If you whisper what I want to hear
Black clouds can crush me from the sky
You're beautiful, the day is clear
It’s clear for miles, and I know why

If you leave me wondering
Grey skies and rain are growing old
If I think that you have gone
The sun can shine, but I am cold

The thoughts I have of holding you
They blind and burn with ecstasy
The thought of you within my arms
It hides from view all else I see

*

My life’s been lost, and halved too long
I’ll take the highs but at what cost?
The lows prove optimism wrong,
And what of everything I’ve lost?

So **** stupid's how I feel
Have I let this last too long?
From when we met until this day?
Is anything we had, now gone?

There were reasons that I hesitated,
Left you alone to work things out
You didn’t mean so much to happen,
But now my mind is plagued with doubt.

I want to fill my life with you
And let you know I need you here
But if I have to let you go
At least an empty glass is clear…

So this is it
I fell for you

And fall each day
And I don’t know,
how good we’d be
But either way,
I have to see…  And you should know.

Live each moment gratefully

The lives I watched when I was young
They used to pull me in
I used to feel the characters
and used to let them in

The lives I watch are just the same
But as I watch I cannot say
That which I see engrosses me
My mind begins to stray

Asking questions of the world,
And asking questions of my life
In which I cannot feel the thrill
Or feel the passion in a bite

As I am lost from questioning
There are moments of enjoyment, yes
They take exception to routine
What satisfaction from success?

And why the satisfaction then
And what success do we define?
So insignificant a role we play
Within the scheme of space and time



I di-sected my reality,  
Laid bare the nervous thirst to live,
And cut the nerves that there did lie
By asking why, what does life give?



Am I now immune from joy?
Empty, as I’m led to death
And cold amid infinity
As black mist blinds and steals my breath?

Am I right to feel this cold
Should ambition be forsake
Should we revoke the warmth of man,
To recognise our solemn fate?

|*|

I say that now the answer’s no
So please go forth, and bring me laughter.
Warm my soul with man’s affairs
And warm my heart with love, soon after

My dysfunctional reality
Ignites upon the thought of you
A face so pure, so clear to see
Gives me hope and guides me through

To ask such questions caused me pain
No answers came upon request
Nothing that would keep me sane
Bar what man, himself, on me bequest

My life the richer to have asked,
And known yet now left despair,
As the contrast helps me celebrate
Mankind and nature’s beauty, fair

To ask such questions caused me pain
But now I have a greater reason,
Nothing that will keep me sane,
Bar joy each day, and every season

Your soul your self your face so clear
So clear to see
So clear to hear
You remind to forget my fear

To see both rhyme…
and reason here.