Give me a sense of normalcy
Back out on me when I feel weak,
Give me something I can work with
Take with me,
There's something strange about you always being in reach.
Take my pride in your hands and don't give it back when I'm breaking,
Keep sending me reminders of all the mistakes I've been making,
Too much kindness in your chest,
You give it all for the taking.
All the flowers and gestures can make me so confused,
I'm waiting on the moment when I'll find out I've been used,
You don't have it in your soul,
I can't see it in your eyes,
Give me a sense of normalcy and spill all the lies.
Burn me like a cigarette on the wrist,
It wouldn't be the first and I'm used to it,
Or you could keep me in love and never make me the same,
Give me a sense of normalcy,
Silence the echoes in my brain.

We were beautiful children
And we grew up so brave,
We were touched by death and heartbreaks but we stayed just the same.

We listen to jazz all night and drink red wine,
Find ourselves adventure to pass the time,
We don't talk much about the pain we've felt inside,
No more bumps in the road,
Just enjoying the ride.

Our love is too strong to carry weight of what's gone,
We find peace in the sun,
And the belief of being young.

Love of mine in the world,
We are one in the same,
You can laugh while you're crying and be childish when you lose games,
We are fine, we are okay,
We are in love,
And our children someday will be just like us.

You're not gonna find it in a few hundred text messages,
Or on the phone singing sweet songs you've written from your head,
I know it's hard, to be alone.
To take months of nights and sleep on your own,

But there's nothing worse than tricking yourself into think you've got the best when you've haven't met it yet.

You can put new faces on the bodies of ghosts and lay in bed like you've got what it takes,
To make amends with the beat in your chest,
Not think about all the mistakes that you've made.

Cover up the scars with tattoos,
Horseshoe giving all its luck to you,
Deep down you know it's not true,
Fall for the boys with same **** attitude.

Nobody can find you if you're blending right in,
Always laughing at the bad jokes,
Always trying to make a win.
You're a cheap trick always down for the sin,
But they don't know just where you've been.

Take them home into your unwashed sheets,
Fall under facade and fill your needs.

I never really remember when certain things happen.
They sort of just seem to be as if they were always there, and fade into the background of my life, but this was different. This time I remembered everything.

I remember the way I kept staring at him while he kissed another girl,
The light from the fire beaming on his face and burning me up inside.
But he was chasing another dream in a green knitted sweater,
So I kissed his cheek goodbye at 2:38 am and drove home while the lack of satisfaction sat in the pit of my stomach.

The feeling didn't last though.
He asked me to dinner the next night after a few bad jokes and exchanges of numbers; I've never seen someone fall so fast from across the table for someone they barely knew, but it happened right in front of me.
Afterwards, I laid in his bed and kissed his mouth with a tenderness that had been unknown to me, leaving most of my sadness in my purse and a bit of my soul on the pillowcases, singing to him.  

I kept thinking and dreaming,
But ****, I just fell right in.
And everyone could tell.
I was losing my mind in a storm of emotions,
They'd say, "who'd you lose it to?"
And I'd be anxious and unwilling to admit to anything deeper than friends.

But I ******* felt it. I couldn't deny that it was a knife stabbing through my porcelain flesh, ripping me open again,
Yeah, I ******* felt it.

And my favorite thing to remember: so much so that it nearly consumes my head these days.

Sunday night role playing that started off as a joke, like role playing often does, but quickly escalated.
I laughed while I pressed my tongue to the inside of his cheek, and smiled when I licked his face; But for some reason, he looked at me like a person can only ever dream to be looked at. It's hard to put into words, but he looked at me the way people look at the ocean waves as they roll in to shore.
And that's when I knew.
And I couldn't forget about it.

It's been drifting through the halls like a breeze sneaking through the window again.
I know we have all loved,
And we have all lost,
But losing such a game can be nearly impossible to swallow.

She came in through the door with Merlot stained teeth,
Speaking soft cries for the past in a high pitched voice for a few moments on the phone,
"Remember the first time I told you I loved you?"
"But we were different then."
And man on the other line,
I remembered who he was, with his thick rimmed glasses and bright blue eyes,
Stole the heart of my sister and a bit of her soul,
Now he just gives her a few minutes of his time as a small reminder.

I myself felt unwell.

My chest still felt swollen in a message from a match strike of a love,
Delivered by friends nonchalantly on the couch.
I drowned him in my aura
And set his heart on fire,
Too fast and too soon,
And it broke his heart too.

I'm trying to let it be nothing,
Take it out of myself like loose change in my pockets.
Let it be the nothing like it really almost was.

I know we have all loved,
And we have all lost,
But losing such a game can be nearly impossible to swallow.