A hard pill to swallow,
crushed up and snorted,
and taken bitterly like cheap motel coffee,
What a way to start the day.

I didn't think the last time I kissed your lips would be the very last time,
That you would shove me aside for someone half decent, and a dull flamed heart.
And that's when I think:
I am trying too hard.
There is still time, there is still time.  
I've got an hourglass in my head and my heart pinned to my sleeve,
My chest pounding with anxiety and I attribute it to butterflies and give all my love to some strange boy with flowers in his hands,
nothing worth falling for.
I reward myself with a sour taste in my mouth and a thousand metaphorical knives in my stomach.
It's okay, it's okay.
All wounds heal in time,
There is still time, I know.

I was lost out on the atlas
Of love and lust and drinks.
With diamonds on my neck,
A smile on my mouth
And my heart begins to sink.
I don't even know what I'm running from,
I don't know what I'm fighting for.
But I got this feeling in my chest,
Like I never get it, I'll never get more.
It's all rushing to me, when my head begins to swirl,
No matter how many bows or how many curls
I'll never be a little girl.
I wanted someone to protect me from what would come,
But nobody came, and I was so young.
And I've soaked in my sins and my sorrow and grace,
Marked it with tattoos and kisses And unloving space,
Lost out on the atlas,
alone on the sea,
And I can trust no one
But me, just me.
But I keep my laugh and such a gracious hand,
I think things nobody would ever understand,
I'm still happy though, in a cage with my pen full of ink,
Lost out on the atlas
of love, lust and drinks.

Sick in my head,
Sick in my heart,
He was something out of a movie,
An angel coming to take me home.
I thought "this could be the one".
He was perfect and timeless,
Like an old Hollywood film.
******* me in and holding me,
Kissing my neck in his father's car.
So much passion between us
Don't let it fade,
Don't let it fade.
When boys go down south,
They don't come back the same.
His lips didn't kiss as sweetly,
His mouth didn't speak all the words I craved to hear.
He had all the cheap tricks in the palm of his hand,
And I was a thousand miles away.
Don't let it fade.
Don't let it fade.
He can **** me in the parking lot,
But can't kiss me goodnight,
"I'm too drunk, I'm sorry."
And I feel like this could be my fault.
Even when he's with me, he's not even with me.
I just look at him like a piece of art now,
He's so beautifully crafted but I don't understand him.
I'm watching him leave more and more everyday,
I keep telling myself:
Don't let it fade
Don't let it fade
But it's already dying.

Mr. Jim Beam,
He gets me,
On a Saturday night when I'm all alone, on the phone, he gets me.
He makes my chest feel warm
When he says, "darlin, I know today's been long."
Yeah, honey, it's been long.
He takes it slow,
His words flood through me like a steady pour,
Then he comes rushing in like a summer night storm.
He fills my head with dreams and soul
And I sing for him till I can't sing anymore.
Mr. Jim Beam,
Tonight it's just him and me.
I never  regret his company.
I'll probably call him tomorrow and the next day too.
He's so sweet, he loves me, he loves everything I do.
He's quick and loyal,
I know he'll always be there for me,
Just to see me smile, I'm his world and I know it.
Mr. Jim Beam and me,
The only thing in the future I can see,
Nights like this are all I'll ever need.
He's all I'll ever need.

Sometimes it feels like all life is
Is a vicious cycle of holding on,
Letting go, and moving on from everything and everyone that gives us some sense of completion.