I am a little bit brave
and a little bit afraid
I am my goddess and my moon
I am my silver spoon
elixirs
  life potions
love potions
magic brewing
   in a *** of desire
                  to be free
                  from the constrictions
                  that used to bind me
ladidee!

Woken from a dream by nothing but the fanblades--
It's two a.m. and I'm left wondering
silly things, of course--
and maybe I'm still sleeping anyway.
I wonder if I ever really loved you
and I wonder if you still...

Everything's gone wrong since you.
You like to say that it's your fault I had the seizures,
but that's my fault. I did that to myself.
All of this is my fault.
I couldn't let you go.
You know, it's funny;
I led you on because I liked the attention.
And I let you have me so I wouldn't lose you---
and look what that did.

And even when it was time to let you go---
"Let's cheat; let's ****,"
was in your eyes that night.
So I didn't let you go.

I tried, at some point---
I told you I hated you.
And you punched the ground.

Everything's gone wrong since you.

And now they have me on some medication.
That's my fault, too.
It makes me sleepy and it makes me numb---
everything feels gray now--
and lifeless.
You try to say something
to keep me from wanting to die
but you can't.
Even the clouds whose whispers
I heard and took pleasure in
have been grayed out by the sweeping hand
of medications.
There is nothing, anymore.

I wonder if you still love me.

I'm unfair, you know.
I want you to---
still love me.
I want you to be under my sticky spell---
I want you to do anything for me.
Even though we're long gone
and I have someone new now.

I wonder if I'm in love.

I told him yes but the meds---
they dull the soul
and turn the heart to stone.

It's two a.m. and I wonder too much.
I can feel myself hurting things.
This is what I get for being honest.

Good Morning,

Is it strange for you?
Is it strange to forget or is it the usual everyday story
There's clamor outside and I need to shed your memory
I am watching as the ties that never bound
lie threadbare, swept aside into a darker place not meant for prisoners
It is strange for me.
Very strange to be amongst the forgotten and re-arranged
Is that all it is, or was this, this strange little drive through the unknown
more than i wished, desired or paid for with the all the change i had
Are you pockets empty, were you the thief or I ?

Shall we be civilized now, will you play at the charming masquerade
and i at the debutante ball
shall we feign a friendly nonchalance, real as the time goes by

It's just that, well you see
I can't quite understand which is true
that you were worth the silence, or not at all.

Sincerely,
me

You should never use a ruler - it is not the length
of your scars that matters, but the depth. Volume
matters, too, but beakers are never big enough -
you could distill all of your tears and they would
still fill an ocean.  And if you try to measure the
decibels of the crashing waves you will not hear
the whole story.  Instead, listen to their echoes
in the hollows of seashells.  Weigh their words
by the ounces of truth.  The voices may taste
like distance, but the tide will wash away your
footprints in the sand before you count them.

you are here
with me
in theaters,
watching old films,
looking past
the close ups
of pretty actresses,
searching for
cigarette burns.

some sort of warning,
to see the story
is close to ending,
or the reels are
just changing.

pictures wont stop flickering
and i wonder who you're
pretending to be
now.

but i'm afraid,
alone, in the dark
i don't have
the patience, to wait
for the curtains or the credits
so i'll clammer my way
down to the exits
and continue
to pester the quiet projectionist.

He sung to me

He didn't sing well

It was more like harmonic yelling

Off key and scratchy

With that little childish glint in his eyes

I knew I loved him then

No ones ever sung to me before

I smiled playfully

He just blushed sort of

and kissed me deeply

I haven't heard him sing

In such  a long time.....

I hadn't seen him smile

In such a long time