Do you ever wanna lay there
Doing nothing
Not eating
Or drinking

Just lay there
Feeling your lungs slowly respirising
Your stomach beginning to grow hungry
Your lips starting to dehydrate
And your brain slowly stopping

You're just there
As your lungs begin to slowly start collapsing
Your stomach ***** and shriveled up
Your lips dry and thirsty
Your brain empty

There you are
Looking pale
Silently laying there
Not a word
Not a sound
There's nothing to interrupt your peace
To interrupt the silence
There's nothing at all

You're just laying there as your body slowly rots from the inside out

You're there
Gone
Nothing left but the stench of your absence

One fly, two fly, five
They're slowly attracted to beauty in your flesh

How does it feel wherever you are?
Are you in heaven or hell or is there nothing at all?
Is there beauty in the silence of it all?

I feel it
The desire to do nothing
To just lay there in the silence of your mind

To slowly disintegrate into the beauty you left behind
within the love you had poured out into the plants you used to water

I want to feel that peace in your soul without the stench
Without the bitterness and pain you left behind

I want to drown in the feeling of feeling nothing

I see the way you look at her.
The way she makes you smile.

It's all too good to watch it grow into something beautiful;
Something worth pursuing.

Am I a horrible person to wanna watch it crash and burn?
To see it rot from the inside out?

I never thought I could hate someone,
especially when I know nothing about them.

She seems sweet,
but I don't care.
I wish you never met her or that I never found out about her.
I'd rather be blinded by love than forced to watch my heart break.

You never said
"I don't love you anymore"-
You just decided to walk away

When it came to me or her
You chose her
You decided I wasn't good enough anymore

You came to the conclusion
That I just wasn't worth the fight
That I was no longer worth loving...

And in that moment
I believed I wasn't good enough
That I was no longer worth fighting for

I decided I didn't love me anymore either

The minute they ask us, "Are you okay?"
All the lies we construct come falling down.

We try to say, "Of course, I'm fine,"
but our minds are in a state of chaos.

We're broken.

Everyday we try to put our best face on and smile like everything's okay.
We try to keep quiet and isolate ourselves by forming these walls of protection when we're out in the open.

Hoping that as long as we smile and put on a great face
no one will know or suspect anything,
but our actions speak louder than words.

We try to hide our feelings, but we forget our eyes speak volumes.

I wish you didn't use your words so loosely.
That what you say will have meaning,
will have purpose.
But you continue to fill my head with false promises and meaningless phrases.

What you say means nothing
because you feel nothing.
I'm just a piece in your sick twisted game.

You manipulated me with your words so sweet.
You had my mind wrapped up in every little thing you said.

Once I realized this was all a game I intended to leave,
But how could I?

Even if everything you said was a lie,
I love the feeling of feeling loved.