She wasn’t the wolf
under the bed or the one
who huffed the three houses
down when the pigs were
asleep. She wasn’t the one
who laid her head down
on that pillow while they
hollered words of
comfort and love. She was the
one who slept quietly
as he touched her feet and
touched her legs
and perhaps
kept her warm
when the drink dizzied
her up and her lips were
numb. I heard her.
And he said he loved her.
And I thought of her feet
very small with five toes
each and I thought
of her breath
her huff caressing
a strand of hair on
her forehead. That soft
inhalation as she felt his
hands between
her toes.

I may have been a doll
when I had tiny shoulders and
you could see the bones of my neck.
And perhaps you too, thought
yourself a sort of extra ordinary
creature who could change
my life. And it was for this
reason that I fell from the shelf
and hit my porcelain head on
the floor and saw my
little hand point towards you.
And I said, “Take me.”
And you said, “How?”
And then with my hand,
I took your hand, and
asked you to wrap your
fingers around my neck.

my greatness is never capitalized, never
existing or full, happy never
there are things i swallow and don’t
chew and walk up and down
without thinking   who are you man
to request a kiss or a handshake
from my prune-like soul   laugh
nicely with a yellow suit on your
shoulder   achieve greatness
for me and
tell me
a story of triumph
or of bruised oranges you liked to eat
before men fell from grace   I’ll listen
here
are you good and is it bad to smile
and have my heart beat fast when
you call me a princess
i told you it was easy
i was always easy
stupid and fickle and wanting and lost
and asking and talking with you of
fishes and the future
greatness is never capitalized  it does not exist
in love
or lust or any other element of the body and spirit
neither does it exist
in these words

Somewhere     where    I   was   not
You shook and pondered over my mean words
Words of jealousy      an insecure     spirit.
You are my best friend and yet
I screamed
I insulted
I spoke of beautiful ghosts and made you
Curious            but more than anything
Sad.
Still, I feel sad too.
But here, we can at least grow.
We can be.
Somewhere    where    I    was    not
You     shook      in another woman’s gaze,
pondered over my mean words,

Our insecure spirits.

my old friend   Kev gave me a call
and strange to believe   that I think it was a mistake
a ****-dial    made at 7pm     for old time’s sake

i tend to forget easier   now   if what we have is authentic,
so many things happening in our lives    school, work   we are
so afraid of our futures    what does it hold for us?
does music reflect us?     when I say    hey, I heard this song and it
reminds me of you            do you care  
I think    we are alone   now
the    way you hold me   is holy
flightless bird    find me    jealous   weeping

when i first saw him in my grandmother’s house in Torices, I cried with joy
never had I felt such love and adoration for a creature   so little   and innocent
so full of hope   and dreams   all he dreamt   was of loving us    and defending us
against dragons   and imaginary    monsters    the king of the house   how ordinary
it is   the love   a dog gives to its     owner         and yet  i looked upon him
with such   wonder     he fought      all fights   as if they were his last
i still see    his   brown eyes   and white against    dark walls
the bark     that broke  silences     and soothed    wounds  and pains
the touch   of a  wild  thing     tamed
how   we walked   we walked    we walked   and when he was young
he ran  like     water      
my little    thing      what do i call you?
you saw me    grow  up    grandpa   died   and then
grandma    died too      you met the boy of my dreams  and
made sure he would    not    break my heart
you loved    my worst   parts      loved my father   despite
his  anger    loved my mother     despite her faults
when you died,    I cried like the time I had first seen you
my little thing       close to me always
what a pair  we made   here      walking  in sync   just right
the sun shone  for us    on Thursday mornings     mom and dad
giving you a piece of your favorite treat
my little thing     how ordinary   it all is