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anonymous Sep 2024
four thousand miles
and I see you in every plane overhead

I miss you when I sip my morning coffee
I take it like you do now, iced chai with oat milk
any little thing to bring me closer to you

four thousand miles and every moment I try to inch closer
I think if I squeeze my eyes tight and try really hard
I could get our heartbeats to align

maybe if I start going to bed at 3 pm and wake up real early
it'll be enough to share sleep with you
that's probably silly though

instead I'll look up at the moon
I'll tell her every little thing about you
at least sharing the same sky will always bring me to you
anonymous Sep 2024
I wish I had a lasso big enough to throw around the moon
maybe then I could pull her down for you

If everything was right with the world and I could begin to give you every wonderful thing
I'd start by giving you the moon, the stars, and the sun
I'd give you the cosmos, glittering and shining
I'd give you every rainy day and thunderstorm, evenings spent out on a porch my hand in yours, listening intently to lightning crack
I'd give you all the birds
I'd give you a future, I'd give you a home
I'd give you a green couch and my head on your lap
I'd give you love and love and love
anonymous Sep 2024
my heart trembles,
sweet piano trills when I gaze into your eyes

and when you touch my hand
dear God, I can hear the horns soaring

and being held in your arms,
I feel the strings buzzing and humming inside me

your gelled nails run through my hair
and a soulful timpani rumbles in my chest

oh Love being with you
puts entire orchestras to shame

you must be my life's magnum opus
the sweetest symphony to ever sound
anonymous Sep 2024
A year ago I asked my therapist if she had any advice on how to live Catholic and Queer
today the revelation struck that my macabre upbringing has formed me for adoration
I learned in church how to anoint myself,
how to love in purity

and so now I love Her reverently, She becomes a pendant upon my forehead
I need no pinned scroll to declare my love, neighbors simply look into my eyes and read my true affections
for She is always on my mind

and though I have no personal angel to purify my mouth with burning coal,
my lips still burn for Her, yearn for Her
solely speaking in sweet Benedictions for Her

and like the stiff-necked Hebrews, my soul and spirit are split open in Her Presence
my very marrow fills with devotion and I fold
wholly Hers

and so I love and exalt Her the only way I know how
with consecrated mind, lips, and heart
anonymous Jun 2024
it was like a hundred ninety-nine degrees
lightheaded and pink cheeked in the Kentuckiana heat
both of us dazed out in a Lisa Frank fantasy
blistered from our faux-leather high heels and flustered from the way she'd glance at me

well somebody wish me luck or send thoughts and prayers my way
cause this girl's got a way about her
shamelessly sharing dreams of running away (together)
escaping the life of midwestern royal freaks
and settling into normalcy

somewhere in the upper peninsula,
two modern, headstrong girls secretly sharing an apartment
maybe even a kitten
maybe even love
anonymous Mar 2024
Dear Organism,

Oh, sweet living thing! From the moment, I laid eyes on you, I knew your cup runneth over. I knew you had health, love, ambition and vigor to spare. Intoxicated by your vitality, I began speaking my sweet nothings in your ear. Whispering gentle lies of love and adoration. You must know now that you were a fool.  Stupid, sullen girl, too eager to be loved to catch me dipping vial after vial in your cup; stealing the marrow out of your bones. And you know, you were the one who invited me in. From the first meaningless kiss, I knew I had you fully in my grasp and you would be mine to do with as I pleased. Testing the waters, I 'accidentally' burrowed under your clothes, spreading my incurable sicknesses. How easy you made it for me! Pitiful in the name of mercy and forgiveness, you let me have my way with you. Of course, you must know I never planned on staying. Those years spent drunk off your flesh and blood were simply a gratuity, a sweet little gift to myself. It took you ages to finally figure out I had poisoned you. Whenever I think of you crying and shaking your fists I still can't help but to laugh. You acted as though you weren't the one who gave everything to me, as though you didn't allow yourself to be marred. As if you weren't asking for it, flaunting your beating heart unguarded that fateful day we met! Idiot girl. I was told you plead that some Higher Power would be merciful instead of allowing you to continue living with your sickness. Pathetic. If I ever need you again, you know where to find me!

Yours,
Parasite
anonymous Feb 2024
the gravity of what he did weighed on me for so long

(causing my ribs to crack so I could never draw in a full breath, and my legs to give out from holding in the tension of the truth)

so long, that I'd forgotten what it felt like before he touched my skin

I'm remembering now, and it hurts as it cracks me open and tears down my walls
this facade that everything is 'just fine, thanks!' has worn me down and held me together
I performed the act for so long, I forced it to become my reality
the whispered guilt crept into my bones and settled there like a cancer, spreading in a paralyzing metastasis
with each extra chance given I nailed myself to my little proverbial cross
knowing that I couldn't be both the victim and a martyr, so I chose my own Sainthood

and now he's gone

the dam collapses and now it's drowning me and I am drowning!
and there is no way for me to swim, he's killing me even now
and yet if he is the death of me I'll rise again in a spiteful show of metanoia

I'll be back transcended, back wearing armour
back flaunting my stigmata and with the unguarded meat of my heart, I'll tear apart every veil he draped over my scars
I'll bring about Armageddon just to see that traitor cower
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