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Elijah Oct 2017
"10 reasons I love Fall"


1. The warm wind blows, reminding me of your soul
2. The sweet smells arise with the wind, reminding me of your scent
3. You can wear my Hoodies which lay dormant all summer.
4. We can sleep in until class starts,
5. I can drive you there and pick you up,
6. We can repeat steps 3 through 5.
7. I can concentrate on looking in your eyes
8. We don't have summer to distract us
9. We can finish out the year, focused on each other
10. There's nobody else I'd rather listen to the rain with.
Elijah Jun 2014
Humble thoughts , liquor flowing .
Over easy. It's never easy knowing;
The one you want want somebody else .
Met her once; now she with somebody else.
She played me.
I think she played me.
I think I still love her though...
I fell hard ,
There's no denying or escaping.
But my heart is still there ,
Still there ; no erasing,
All those feelings that i had ,
I still have .
He lucked up.

He's the guy you want ?
I can't stay bitter.
She's not the girl I want , I see you in her .
Dang!
Should've never got caught up.
Now I'm singing like usher ,
But I just can't let it burn up.
Like the summer .

Like the summer ...

Like the sun out,
Girl you burn up;
Anything that looks direct .
So my eyes may blind by the time I check;
You. Out.
Get it?
I know you get it.
I'm just wishing he was me or I was him and you were with it.
But I guess it up to you what you do ,
This topic you just dismiss it .
You don't ever write me back .
I'm alone , with this wine, as I sip it .
Gone.

-EP
Elijah Mar 2014
Ambitious Girl:

Consider this my reiteration.
I wanna read your books, and not just your looks.
Knowing what you look like ; I wanna be in your space - but not so much that I interfere with your education.
Let me say this,
Congratulations on being the very best you could ever be.
Putting priorities over everything, Miss couldn't get that coach cause tuition was due.
& sallie was nagging for a payback.
Sallie was nagging for a payback.
And you paid that, plus tax.
Miss made so many friends stepping with the sisters.
whatever it is, I hope you pledge an existence that'll make your existence, persistent.
Forever my queen, say you're listening...

Look, I'm still talking .
You love school but you're sick of Sally maybes .
No *** , you're the lucky one because all your friends have babies.
And you ain't slept , up thinking , tomorrow's that big test .
Few of your friends stripping you don't judge em' though.
You're insecure with your body so you like "forget it yo!"
So, I put you on that pedestal,
Girl I'm just saying your work ethic makes you edible.
Me a freak? That's something that they will never know.
Look, you're something they can never see;
You overpower  anything them other girls could ever be.
Go ahead and prepare for class, hit me when you finish up.
It's never too late, we'll celebrate soon as the grades come.
Shout to them girls in the club with no relations between their professors .
Yes sir, I propose a toast to them girls - that you offer them ones but they never let you.
I love your ambition.

Okay, shout out to them 4.0s and even 2.5s ; who signed up & failed but say "whatever , I tried."
It's nothing to deny for having a strong mind, I'll make sure to keep you in mind.
You're still someone I can ride with; dress up & get fly with.
It's still something you provide , you never hide , that makes me wanna get inside .
Look, ambition will define you, never worry about them hating chicks that wish to be just like you.
My goal is to serenade you everyday with these verses until you no longer insecure, obscure and hurting .
They gon know you;
Chasing your dreams, instead of chasing what's in a dudes' jeans.
And God blessed me with a lot of patience , but I ain't had none in a while - I need your AS(S)pirations .

I love your aspirations!
Ambitious Girl...
Fourth generation.
4th poem in my ambitious girl series. Actually speaks on a woman I know , or once knew . Enjoy :)
Elijah Jul 2016
Spending a year in your basement, and rarely coming out,  teaches you a lot about people.
The ones that say they got your back, but you get jammed up and cant find them.
The ones that spend forever phone talking to you;
And giving you superb advice on why to come down from the ledge.
And the ones who actually visit daily just to  make sure you're still good.
My brother told me what God already explained:
All suffering is valid.
And just because I'm not dying doesn't mean I don't get to complain.
How I complain more about my life being stagnant?
Than the boy with cancer complains about his life being short.
And that's okay because pain rarely follows rules.
I never even learned his name.
But he told me something I hold ever so closely:
On those days when I wish I'd never woken up,
I'm allowed to scream and ask why it's happening to good people like myself.
But I must make sure I know where the line is,
Between giving my darkness a voice and
pitying myself.
One of like 100sum poems I wrote over the course of last summer to now. Since last summer I've literally been couped up in my basement rarely coming out unless for work, school, church, etc... Maybe one or two get togethers a month. But over the course of this year (from June 2015 to June 2016) I've been more introverted than I already am. Certain things stopped appealing to me. Writing has never stopped. Enjoy what's to come.

-Ep
Elijah May 2014
[series] Poems in Water Vol.1
“Blessing That Hurts [Nostalgia]”

To make beauty out of pain it damns the eyes,
NO – DAMS the eyes,
See how they overflow?
See how our hearts secede with each changing season?
We’re only 21; we got no debt owed to love,
So what’s the rush?
What’s the rush?
What’s the rush?
I mean; we DO get each other high,
But on my descent from the sky,
I cry.
Each time.
And we lie, drowning each other in one another’s’ tears.
A kind curse. Forgive me.
A blessing that hurts.

Nostalgia is like a knife through my hippocampus sometimes.
Because I don’t want to remember,
But sometimes; things come up.
It is unfathomable how fast the time goes by.
Things are different from how they were 3 years ago.
Yes, my heart does still beat rapidly at just hearing your name.
Thought you were the once because you drove me insane.
But;
How often now – raging weeping for a ‘Do-Over’.
Love lust gives and lust taketh, from you.
Sad dreams. The moment at which you recognized: your own eyes have lied,
And mind as well was deceiving your heart.
8 years for this crush lust;
I must remind myself.
Despite that, there’s other fish,
And while I look – God’s with me,
So im never really by myself…

-Ep
Elijah Sep 2014
I just told her that I've been battling writers block for months and that  I needed something to draw inspiration from.
So she told me I can take a picture ,
Just so long as I ask first and so I asked her;
To be my permanent  model.

And now I hold those words & that picture, close to my heart. whenever I'm going through , they are, she is, right there - pumping through my veins & eventually running straight through to my brain like a drug of some kind -
a never ending recurring image of her frame;
Not being stopped by time.

In this timeframe, the main thing ...
Is, she is my motivation .
With or without her knowing.
I'd get on my knees & plead if she were to leave.
Like, "why are you going ?
You are the pieces,
You are my rib,
You are my finished puzzle.
My unfinished body,
God made you specifically to fit me."

And she'd probably gasp & say something to the affect of: "****, well I never knew you felt it like that."
Only because I never knew how to express myself like this.
But before I go I must run through this list, of things I must get done, and you are number 5 , number 4 , number 3, number 2, and number 1.

And as the countdown ensues;
I'll keep chasing after you,
Until I have you gripped in my arms like glue.
Resting on me, I'm kissing on you.
Ohh what a night , you're like the stars & the moon.
So right.
This feels.

You are.
There in the morning like the sunrise;
That's why,
Before I leave I get on my knees and pray while you sleep.
Hoping to God that in my brief absence you won't ... Leave .

-Ep
You guys get it first.

This is my last poem before leaving for basic training. The titled wasn't even meant to be so aptly thought of I just put the words together . The cover art to this poem will be posted around 12:30 noon tomorrow on my blog: www.julysveryown25.blogspot.com . Thank you all for the support . Wish me luck as i embark on this journey to serving our nation! Love you. Enjoy the poem .
Elijah Apr 2017
Black & milds burning my fingers.
I know that it's bad, but it feels so good.
Stress weighing on me heavy.
I talk to God, but, no clear answers.
Tell me what I'm fighting for.
Dear God, if you're up there, tell what I'm fighting for.
What am I crying for?
Hoodie over my head, God, what am I hiding for?...

You spend your whole life trying to be perfect,
Just to find out that you ain't ****.
You try to be the guy that carries all the burdens, including your own,
But you realize you're ill-equipped.
You break everything you come across: glasses, vases, and hearts that are now lost,
Because of you.
This poem is not from my point of view,
But if it was I'd understand why he feels so blue…

You see living in this life, you're bound to feel doomed.
Good things can happen to you, but negatives will still loom.
And people wanna be all close and personal with you and your truths,
But nobody's loyal around here, all they want is your truce;
Not to be cordial, but just to get in on the news,
That's why I choose a lane to pave, and never say when I move.
​But even when you try to be humble,
​You start to  get in your feelings when you hear the slightest mumble.
​And then you wanna rumble,
All along we've been living in a jungle, and I don’t mean no New York.
We in a world and generation where your “homies”’will eat and not bring extra forks,
They will let you starve.
Selfish and self righteous,
Very messy with their moves.
That's why I rarely go out, and my friends, I let God hand pick and choose…

Now the perception is mine.
Hoodie still on, world’s cold, but I'm doing fine.
Black N milds still sitting in the cup holder while I drive,
Formulating lies in case my mom found out like “they ain't even mine.”
“Well why they in your car? You want your lungs get black and die?”
“Man, momma them ain't mine. They must belong to one my guys.”
​Can't erase the unerasable, or trace the untraceable.
​10 times out of 10, all your wrongs will come back to you.
That's why I keep my guards up like Garda,
Because karma’s like that crazy ex girlfriend you can't shake off of you.

I've been finessing the systems.
I've been showing all of the symptoms of a hardheaded BOY that just won't listen,
And think he's a man, and that he can stand on his own to.
And will tell you to your face he never wanted you.
​Counterfeit power.
​Egotistical attitude,
​That is sure to fall through.
Let him fall through…
A little back and forth a from two perspectives. The first half, until "All along we've been living in a jungle, and I don’t mean no New York...." is from a friends perspective. The rest is mine. Enjoy. Thank you
Elijah Mar 2014
A fifth of Hennessy left to burn stress,
I drank it straight out the Bottle.

The curer of all my sorrows.
The killer of all tomorrow.

What if; I don't wake up, on time for work , one day, or I'm late for lunch dates or lunch breaks? How long would the anger last?

I was a big boy, felt like an outcast, back in school . Then learned them same bullies roses had smelled bad too.

That taught me to hold on, be strong.
Hateful comments Is what i feast on.
Won't catch me in a slump,
Or upset wanting to jump, arrogant punks.

Nope, you catch me in the back playing it cool like AC , fifth of gin inside my hands , they made jokes but they can't make me : get angry.

My brain  is mellowed out so they can't stand me. Cause i ain't antsy , and I'm not one for throwing hands the first chance I see.

That ain't for me ...
Elijah Jul 2015
The heat will literally drain you.
So every time I get around you I lack service like lebron missing.
Then when you leave I start dissing, myself; ****** at all the facts that i forgot to relay to you.
So much on my brain, it's heavy as hell im literally mentally stressing and physical.
Rest in peace to my brothers, I pray for your souls individual, and just because you gone still know that we're indivisible.
And free my brothers who be innocent but sitting in prison though.
You gon be home soon. Don't you worry, I got you woe...
I got a loaded weapon for any hater,
But I won't use it, I won't do it.
A new man like a duplicate but y'all can't two him.
Y'all can't deuce him.
Yall can't dismiss the teacher,
I preach it you listen.
God Army,
God body.
Can't say I never had NO *** to **** in.
But them blocks was looking hot when my pops was missing.
Momma; coming in late, going out early. Bless your soul.
And sorry for them days and nights my hard head stressed your soul.
But you never raised a finger, I mean you let that belt stretch that's all.
But I thank the lord for that belt man, it blessed us all.
Elijah Nov 2014
1964 Birmingham is 2014 Ferguson.
50 years later, but these cops, they’re still killing. 
Still armed to harm, police dogs still bark.
“Sworn to serve & protect.”, protect who? Only white folks and their whereabouts. 
MISERY in Missouri, I watch them march like Martin, sit like rosa, and fight like Malcolm. 
Oscar grant, trayvon, and now mike brown;
Brought down by white men with a little authority & power. 
A nation watches in grief as mothers frown. 
These politicians are clowns, how they act funny, and make laws just to shut us up but we ain’t no dummies. 
We know what’s going on, we won’t let it pass.
We know what’s going on, we won’t repeat the past. 
Gunshots from white cops, what my brothers hear last. 
They’ve been weeping in the streets for weeks, long before the Tears gassed. 
All this happens while 1 sits in the Oval Office, oh but I get it, he’s STRESSED! 
Excuse my French, but in this White House is BLACK really making any ******* progress?…
Elijah Jan 2016
The poster child for simple.
The greatest symbol of love;
And I'm really glad the lord sent you.
That's in case you never really heard it before.
Girl I'm sorry if your feelings were hurtled.
He was never any good for you.
You heard it, plenty times.
But That's the truth;
He was never any good for you....


She contemplating life like "who's really good for me?"
She stay down on her knees so much, they bruised homie;
And she don't know her worth.
She sexing almost anything with a shirt.
No protection, she just lift up on her a skirt and let him go to work.
And when he get off, he gon be the first, and then he out the door, leaving her alone with an unsettled score.

Unsatisfied,
Tears fill her lonely eyes.
The poster-child for simple,
But tonight she feels unorganized.
Contemplating life like "how should i really feel inside?"
Can't really trust a man, because they only wanna fill inside.

They only wanna fill inside.
You guys get it first. First poem of 2016. Enjoy.
Elijah Aug 2016
Cut the jibber jabber,
This ain't for smiles and giggles.
People dying, people lying,
And people playing victim.
People not standing,
Some people  not sitting;
But what's the freaking difference?
Look at the big picture.
America still killing black folks off,
And they want us to NOT protest?
My hat goes off! To Colin kaepernick and anybody taking a stand, or a seat to show America that we're not playing. That's my stance.
Talking changes to be made and black lives matter.
You can argue that all lives matter,
But, BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Cops is out here killing black men and getting PTO, being acquitted for some **** that if the skin color was switched they would get life fo'.
I know you hear the difference,
I know you see it too.
Trump wanna make the states great? That only makes me blue.
Cause he don't even see the struggles, or know what "equal" means; he only sees the money,  you know that pasture green.
Make us great again?
Make us great again?
Only way to make us great is if we bleach our skin.
Make us white, then we equal - that's what they really want.
I bet I got trump supporters shaking their heads like "you said it. Well done ..."
Cause what you voting for? If you voting for him.
I mean Hilary's a stretch too but at least she feels more empathy and  is more supportive than him.
That's the difference:
Who be in it for power and the checks,
Verse the ones who be in it for the love and respect....

-Lij
Quick rant style poem I wrote venting my frustrations with some of the current events in America. Enjoy
Elijah Jul 2015
Can I borrow a couple quarters for your thoughts?
Slide it into your slot machine, and pray I strike rich.
Unlocking new goals met like this is the sims.
But this is not a simulation, my golden rod is looking forward to stimulating every inch of your holy body.
Your holy body.
Your golden body.
My light skinned goddess.

I put all my concentration on you and that's probably why I failed out of college.
I couldn't balance.
Unless we talking balancing you on my shoulders.
That I could manage.
As I devour your sweet fruit from your secret garden of love.
The lettuce. The only dressing I needed was ******* you.
Let me see your body, let me heal that bruise. From when you fell out of heaven.
My angel.

Warm body talking to me, she just needed a cool.
Dousing your flames, in a pool of my liquid. And you drink my liquid and then keep on going, ooh girl you the champ.
Tonight i wanna fill you up and give you so much praise.
Tonight I wanna feel you up, just like I dreamt, so you remember my name.
And with all the secrets of the world, at least you'll be glad you came.

Breaking down the locked walls of lust, wonder, and passion.
For months, all over these bed sheets I've lusted for your passion.
And then it happened.
No wonder why you drove me insane.
Lost my balance in your goddess sea of perfection, then came.
These other men ain't get none so they mad at my luck.
Just tell em they can't get none, I won the prize and it's mine.
I waited my time and spent my change,
And queen you're so fine ,
I'm really glad you came
Elijah Mar 2017
Look at us;
We're all twenty something.
Some got kids, married, and live with significant others.
While most of us still at home with our Mommas,
But that's okay,
we're just tryna get through college,
Or get through this phase of life...

Don't you wish that life could slow down?
Or better yet, like, go back?
It seems like last week we was walking the halls in high school.
My how time flies.
And we just want it back.
Cause life, she dealt some blows.
Kicked us a little low.
We lost some of the purest souls,
That now float in heaven, looking down upon us all.

Goodness.
Gracious;

Praise God for his patience.
We're young and still trying, that's the basis.
Right now, do we really have to cover all our bases?
Or is there still room to improve?
For we know that time is always on the move,
Showing no signs of slowing down -
Life's a movie,
Elijah Mar 2017
Heavy is the heart that cries tears.
Of sorrow.
Heavy is the heart that's scared.
Of tomorrow.
Because it doesn't know exactly what to expect.
Heavy is the heart; Shown no respect.

I turned the news on this morning.
As if it were a surprise, another mother in mourning.
Black, mother to be exact.
Crying on TV, because she can never get her baby back.

Heavy is the heart that feels sympathy for that mother.
Heavy is the heart that's scared to comfort another.
Because it doesn't know exactly what to say in situations like these.
Heavy is the heart,

The heart in me....

-Ep
Lost a couple people. Wrote this as an expression of grief.
Elijah Apr 2015
Hey, Black Child
Do you know who you are?
Who you really are.
Do you know you can be?
What you want to be.
If you try to be,
What you can be...


Hey, black child.

Do you know who you are?

Who you really are.

Do you know you're a star?

Do you know that you shine,

So bright in His eyes?

Do you know that what people say doesn't matter?

Hey, Black Child

Do you know where you are going?

Where you're really headed.


Do you know you can learn;


If only you'd dive into it head first.


If you try, and fail, but get back up;

What you can learn is mistakes is more than enough.

Hey Black Child,

Do you know you are strong?


Hey black child,

You're not alone.

Hey black child,


Do you know you can do,


Whatever is on your heart;
If only you try to.

Hey black child,

O child of God.

What you can do,

If you'd open your eyes.

Hey Black Child,

Learn what you must know.

Hey black child,

Don't worry about it, just grow.

Hey black child,

Do what you know how.

Hey black child,

Never dumb yourself down.

Hey black child,

Be all that you can be.

Hey black child,

You inspire me, to be me.
Elijah Sep 2018
Hey, Black Child
Do you know who you are?
Who you really are.
Do you know who you can be?
What you want to be?
If you try to be,
What you can be...


Hey, black child.

Do you know who you are?

Who you really are.

Do you know you're a star?

Do you know that you shine?

So bright in His eyes?
Elijah Aug 2014
all you can hear is me swallow my spit.
Right in the middle of the room, on the carpet we sit.
In awkward silence.
Playing on our phones;
Cause I don't really have anywhere else to go;
With conversation.

She's so breathtaking.
The minute I think of something,
I look up and lose it.
My brain is blank pages of nothing.
But when I get home my journals are always filled; to the brim with words , as I skim through my tangled thoughts and release them through this pen.

Something from within .
My heart belongs with Him,
So I - don't know if God - will ever - let me lend - it out.
But if does it'll be worth it,
Cause this girl takes away all my hurtin'.

I Swear she's like a drug.
She's all up in my veins.
Smoking ounces of that Abel ,
I don't mess around Cain.

Is this all a dream?
Or is this all the real deal?
I wish I could IM God and tell him how I really feel,
He'd probably respond back:

"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of- GOD. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! "(‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭10-31‬ MSG)
This literally happened two nights ago. I'm chilling out with a friend, who has every potential to become my girlfriend, and we talk & talk for an hour but after that the conversation ceases and we're left in a awkward situation. The title "if God had IM" comes from me wanting to get quicker access to Him and talk to him about this new relationship. Is it what he wants for me? Or should fall back and wait patiently like I've always been doing . Thank you for reading . ❤️
Elijah May 2016
Yeah I. Don't. Have. Anything.

I am drawing mad blanks like you're at the bank and nothing comes out, except a receipt.
My thoughts are all jumbled.
My mind is a mess.
No comfort can be found on my bed.
On the couch is where I rest my head.
No inspiration;
I can't seem to figure out why.
Clothes are thrown everywhere,
Smudges on the mirror,
Dust covering what used to be my "canvas".
Misused time.

Misused time.
Doing exactly what didn't matter...
Trying to find time, to clear away this clatter.
From my mind
A poem, about writers block
Elijah Sep 2016
Death to anything that tries to cover up real beauty.

you are.

I am.

We are, all human.

With flaws, aches, and ailments.
Ain't nobody perfect.

Except the one that made us, and made it all worth it.

You're not worthless.

Who told you that, told you lies.

They're not God, so how can they tell you how to live your life.

You're not perfect.
But you try.

And that's all you can do.

Because the one that is perfect, doesn't have to try, he's perfecting your life;

Starting from inside.

So don't cry.

No, don't cry, dry your eyes.

And don't listen to the people,

Putting negativity inside your mind...

.
Part. 1.
Elijah Mar 2016
This is back when the first streetlight let you know you had about 5 minutes,
5 minutes to "get your black *** back in this house!"
"But, Mom..."
"Boy, if you but me one more time Ima come out there and wear you out!"
Think I'm playing...

And all along your homies laughing, saying "better get back in the house, don't wanna see you laid out, boy!"
We could never have fun. At least that's what we used to thought.
But there was methods to our mommas madness, cause every night a body got caught.
Without protection.  
But Moms was our confidant, our bully tamer, and our lethal weapon.
Against anybody.
Got a problem? She will solve it.
Her verse the whole neighborhood if she had to. She would be glad to.
And I am glad too, now that I look back.
In memory of my youth, the best times i ever had....
Elijah Jun 2017
I prefer to see you not covered in LOréal Paris...

I'm a fan of seeing things in their original state.
And so I prefer not to miss when you wash that Hourglass Illusion off;
And take away the illusion that everything is perfect...

But Either way you're worth it....

I mean like, cause, none of that really defines you.
That Dolce and Gabbana only wastes precious time and money.
And Merle Norman, he makes you feel "special", but by who's standard?
I'm looking at what God looks at baby, I wanna know where your heart is standing...

Cause I know where my heart is standing;
And I prefer to be with you.
So, don't hide under that urban decay, and lip gloss that tastes like candy;
The material things, they decay.
But,
I want you to be my cover girl,
And hello flawless, you're gorgeous;
Down to your bare minerals...

I prefer the real you.
Signed,

TheNiceGuyInLastPlace.
A little wordplay on how I despise the use of TOO MUCH make up
Elijah Jun 2016
Lone ship, lord.
Lone ship;
Please take the bow.

I can't wait any longer, lord.
I need. You now.

I often feel myself drifting.
Sometimes cutting it too close.
I don't want to end up missing,
Out on what I love the most.

Somethings I hold in.
Some feelings i can't show.
But these things, to you, no surprise.
Because all things you do know.

I need you now.
I need you now.
A lone ship in this vast ocean.
I need you now.
Lord, please take the bow.

-Gp
Elijah Feb 2015
I keep thinking "man that could've been me."
Too easy.
Cause the ones that claim to help be the ones that do you breezy...

Long live the lost souls.
May God guide you on your way up.
I pray you keep your eyes on me.
Keep me protected, keep them strays up.
Don't let em touch me...

I pray they don't target me,
Buying skittles and some tea.
But who knows?
& Though we try to move on.
You can only be but so strong.

I tried henny and she didn't work.
ciroc couldn't get me off.
I talked to jack he a cool dude.
The **** had me feeling like a **** fool;
That wasn't me.

Tried whatever to get my mind off.
How many times we had to say bye?
Most of my homies spending time in prison,
They other ones laying in the sky...

Long live the lost souls.
May God guide you on the way up.
I pray you keep your eyes on me.
Keep me strong and help me stay up.

Why you had to go?
Something special. From my heart. Been in my phone since trayvons death 4 years ago so I decided to release it on his birthday. I added some lines to it to modernize it to the current situations we all face. The title is beeped out to protect his name as best as possible but you know what the spaces spell... TRAYVON. We love you. May God bless your soul.
Elijah Apr 2018
It’s been a long winter.
Summer we missed you.
Good vibes and good times.
Warm days and cool nights.

Warm flames from bonfires, and cool brews.
Summer we missed you.

It’s been a long winter.
Too cold.

****, she was too cold.

May we cherish all of our moments with you this year.

Love,
Elijah Apr 2016
Declare your intentions.
----.
Cause I've been just sitting here drinking.
Fiendin for more of what happened last night.
I want my ego stroked but I NEED my soul caressed.
You know, take this heart and wash it out and turn it red and thaw it out and heat things up.
Don't hang me up.
When I call, don't hit ignore, & look at your phone and not answer.
Girl your loving is like cancer how it spread.
And I'm Leo and you're sag and they said we're no match but forget them cause they lack what we have.
This chemistry.
**** the blinds girl , the light's killing me.
Last night was perfect, girl don't just do a way with me.
I can still smell your perfume on my jacket from when you wore it home,
A sweet history.
Sweet victory.
I can still feel you in my sheets though I'm alone - now.
Alone again.
Just swangin.
Waiting for you to get off - then you already know what I'm thinking...

Wanna be you I'm drinking.
Sip.
Cause I've been sitting here all day, thirsty.
Fiendin for more of what you've given last night.
How you down poured on me;
Drip.
Swimming in your ocean felt so right, to be frank, It Tasted so nice,
I want nothing more than a replay of last night.
I've been fiendin for you like that crack rock, that white.
I was lost in that pink matter, don't think I can have a sweet life if you forest gump and runway and end this...
Skin as smooth as that Hennessy.
And just like IT, you make me FORGET everything from the past.
Golden girl, I wonder, how long will this last?
Years, months, weeks, or days.
But,

Forever is what I pray...


-end
Wrote this last Valentine's Day. ❤️
Elijah Dec 2014
It’s funny because – i'm used to being creative with words, and having the right things to say.
But then you come along and everything I had planned out gets whisked away.
I don’t know if it’s the pure seduction that just drives me crazy,
Or the thought of you being my lady.
Baby.


Im used to being creative with words, and expressing my deepest feelings.
But then you come along, and everything I had planned attracts dust on the shelf.
I don’t really don’t know if it’s your complexion that just drives me insane.
Or the thought of you saying “yes” to a diamond ring.
I don’t know…

Im used to being creative with words, and making myself known.
But then you come along, and all that I can think about is taking you home.
I don’t know if it is just your charisma alone, or the fact that you are the baddest girl
That I have ever known.
And I met that in a figurative sense.
I don’t know if you know what you do, but what you do drives me senseless, insane, And CRAZY.

Sweet Lady,
Hit reply if you like what you've heard.
& God knows I hope you do because it took me a while,

To write these words…
you get it first. Merry christmas...
Elijah May 2014
You haven't forgotten.

Though I've sinned,
& through this pen; I repent,
One thousand times - over ,
Boulder on my shoulders.
I hear you say that you will never leave me,
And I've peeped that,
Cause I could've been out on those streets: cooking crack, where them fiends at!

But, you haven't forgotten.

Though I've sinned ,
And through this pen - I repent,
Two thousand times; over, and over again.
Lord, why are so merciful?
Why would you ever send; your only son to hang on some wood for MY sins?
Better yet why'd you give me life in the first place?
You knew that I was gonna sin, and keep repenting way before my life began.
That's just the cycle ,
And I know how that could end,
But somehow you keep my lungs, heart, and brain working on days out & in!

And You still haven't forgotten - me ,
I decree,
& declare; that you will always be - right here like in my past.
Lord, I could be behind that glass, or underneath the grass ,
But your grace is sufficient and I'm just praying that it lasts -

Forever.

EP
From out my journal entry tonight . Enjoy
Elijah May 2018
you can smell the money.
the aroma is tempting.
I know the power she possesses;
Mastering the world,
she has a hold on us.
On me.

very conniving, money.
Masterful in the art of stealing our hearts.
From what matters if we let it.
Causing rifts in relationships,
And breaks in the bank.

she knows we need her.
she plays right with our feelings.
Slipping through some of our fingers,
We can never keep a tight grip.

because of her, some become addicts.
Addicted to her lavishness.
Addicted to the smell of her,
Feel of her, look of her;
Especially when her faces are blue.

Kids that never seen a lot of her,
Coming off the porch trying to get a glimpse.
Holding hundreds, over excited.
Parents saying “get in this house, its past dark. if you value your life.”
But money make them wait there;
On that block.

She’s got a chokehold on them boys.
Tight fist, hard hearts.
“Let the money **** you, like it killed your father”
They’re not trying to hear that noise.

Money, she make them do crazy things.
She make them buy diamond rings, and big chains,
And never save.
She make them slaves.
So they never learn and they never stay,
In one place.

They’re never woke.
They sleep all day.
Until money calls, and it’s time to get paid.
Some of them even opt to make money,
Instead of build families.
and Some of their families are only being held by the red and blue threads that hold money.
So, some of their families only want them because they hold money,
The moment they’re broke again,
They’re alone again.
poem about the allure and woes of money. being addicted, and living life with money as your leader. you get it first. enjoy
Elijah Sep 2015
A couple of my poems ain't make it

I was going through.



A couple of my poems ain't make it;

They was all for you.



But this one is special and I hope you read it.

Finally realized that you're everything that I needed...



Finally realizing what I had.

Realizing what I'm missing.

I see your new guy on snap,

Ya’ll was kissing.



And that really did something to me.

It made me miss you.

I ruined every chance that you gave me,

I was tripping.



Even my homies, they tell me the same thing.

Plus my momma never met ya, only seen the pictures.

She said "what happened to the girl? Why you ain't with her?"



I killed my chances.

And though I'm very remorseful.

I know I may never get her back,

It's just something that I gotta learn to accept.
poem about an old flame. obviously her name was Nita. 'forgive me for never being there, i pray for your happiness in your current situation. i hope we can still be friends."

this poem is from my upcoming poetry EP,  'The Writers Block' ... thanks for reading
Elijah Jul 2017
Black woman,

Don't let their definitions define you.

Unless they define you, as "queen" nothing in between or nothing far-fetched of that word.

You, Queen, are superb.

You, are a work of genius sent to earth by the great man upstairs himself.

Embrace your imperfections.

God don't make mistakes.

Black woman, love your faults.

Love your flaws, and everything that you strive to change.

Love them all.

I would Kiss your stretch marks,

I would embrace your natural soul.

I wouldn't  want you to have to hide behind make up,

Take the mask off.

Because your future is worth so much more.

Black woman.
Elijah Sep 2015
Out my way.

I ain't going out my way...

Out my way.

I ain't going out my way...

For you again.



You played me and it's messed up.

I thought that we had something.

Nothing special, told me it was nothing special.

But you was all wanting me,

That was before I met you...

And I went out of my way,

Just to try and accept.

To try to hear you out...

Now I don't wanna hear your mouth.

Cause it's all the same ol things...

"I'm sorry, please forgive me"

The same old sayings.

"I'm sorry, is you still with me?"...

Actually, I mean the answer's "no".

And I hate calling girls **'s, But;



You give me every reason to do just that.

And you make me gag. Hell nah I don't want you back.

You was with me but you loving him, that’s unreasonable.

I gave you everything, I thought we was everything, but you played me like a throwback R&B; song.

That’s not a good look.

That's the reason we don't get along.

You had me open like a good book...

That's why I wrote this poem.

I'm fed up with this,

I'm way too fed up with this.

I'm way too much of a good guy,


And I ain't going out like this...
READ IT LIKE YOU'RE RAPPING.
Elijah May 2014
She gives me butterflies,
She laughs like a goddess.
Her mind - like a diamond,
Her vibes are like massages;
When I had a rough night.
Long trip, rough flight.
Bags on my eyes.
She could be with any other guy...
But she chose me,
And like a rose out of the concrete - I grew- on her...
I grew on you,
But never really knew you.
You were perfect on the outs,
I was just tryna get in you.
Not IN you but within you;
You're mind babe.
But I just thought that I was wasting all your time babe.
So I ain't even bother,
And let you get away.
And that was the worst girl,
You know what you've done to me?
This is all I have for now . But I love just this part of the poem so I'm releasing it as part 1 . A full length part 2 coming soon ! Thank you.

Take care
Elijah Feb 2019
I’m twenty five, and i have yet to have my first real kiss.
I don’t know why I’m waiting.
I see God sending everyone to their final destination in love;
I sit back and i wonder, “why are you skipping me?”

I gave my purity away when i was 22.
I don’t know why, i should’ve waited.
Because now we hardly talk and i can’t stand her.
And my life since has been a curveball of lust, and living below Gods standard.

Five years until I’m thirty
And i think I’ve figured it out.
My first real kiss won’t be a one night stand,
My final destination in love will be somebody that i entrust my heart to.
Somebody that i can trust not to mess it up.
It’s very fragile.
So i think i understand now why God likes to take his time.
Elijah Jul 2014
I think it's time to face the facts.
You're bags are packed;
You're leaving & you're never coming back.

One text just ruined it all.

I shouldn't have called that girl,
I shouldn't have called that girl.
I knew she was no good.

I knew.

But still I failed.
I fell in lust.
You've had enough.
I just wish there was something more I could say.

Takes a lot to even own up.
I planned to lie to just get you back but then that wouldn't be very grown up.
Got to face the facts.
Your bags are already packed.
You're about to leave and you're never coming back.

One text just ruined it all.

I should have called that girl;
I should have called that girl.
Only though, to set the record straight.
With tears in my eyes I write this;
With regret flowing from my pen.
Because I thought what we had was ‘Love’,
Was 'Fate'.
I ain't think it would ever end.

Now you say you hate me;
How could I ever blame you?
Because I said I’d never do something like this and I fell face first on my word.
Squashing every bit of a promise that existed.

What exists now?
Me & Hennessy.

But it can never get me over the thought of losing the best thing that ever happened to me...


-RegretfullyBitter
Elijah Aug 2016
Calculating all the loss.
Why they keep on killing us?
They don't even know what for...

piecing my thoughts together. ..

How can I piece my thoughts together?
When the word "peace" ain't even in my thoughts forever.
I'm just being honest.
Makes you wanna riot.
If black lives really matter;
Then why would we stay quiet?

It's an uphill battle we're steady climbing.
Respect and recognition.
Respect and recognition.
If my black skin was any indication,
I won't be forgotten.
I won't be forgetting;

Calculating all the loss. ..

Why they keep killing us?
They don't even know what for...

They don't even know.
No.

What you wanna erase us off the face of the planet?
Just be honest Mr. Officer.
Them my brothers, why you hassle them?
Why you after them?
What's the crime they committed?
Being committed to seeing dreams come true isn't really a crime is it?

Calculating all the loss...

Why they still **** us for?
Why they wanna take our souls?
They don't even know.

Rest in peace Dr. Sebi.
You're gone now, they still Tryna steal your dreams from you.
Foul world.
But you took your last shot and on your last shot you found a cure for AIDS and that was your last shot and now your Laying in your grave.
And they relish in your finding.
Them jerks have impeccable timing...

Still, calculating all the loss...
It feel like that I been here before.
My momma told me and my brothers if she have to go, keep the family close, and listen to the cops but if he acting shifty don't be afraid to tell him "no".
And if he's still shifting, get a video and a picture. Get top on the phone and send it up.
We won't be out of luck anymore.
We in our own boats.
Tryna escape this sea of madness,
Where black lives are the scapegoats...

(Calculation complete...)
Elijah Sep 2016
I can't get a solid sleep man.
I I I i I get shaky.
The more I think about all we've lost.
What if I'm next?
What if it's my brother? My sister? My mother?

The stress is deep like that.
I'm not even in the street, like that.
When cops get behind me I won't  even stop;
Unless I'm in a well lit area, with plenty of witnesses,
Even then man.
The stress is deep like that.

I can't get a solid sleep.
I've tried my hands at counting sheep.
I even got so far as to tuck my buzzlightyear stuffed Animal in before me just so he can protect me, "infinitely, and beyond."

I'm 23.

Yes, I'm 23.
Yes, I have a buzz light year stuffed animal.
I also have woody.
He's a stand up guy.
I never left them like Andy did, when I went to school I let them ride ...
I - I have an emotional detachment disorder , I think.
Because I can't leave their side - and I can't connect with an actual human being to save my life.
Emotional detachment. Or just, trust issues...

I can't get a solid sleep man.
The stress is deep like that.
Yes, I'm 23.
The more I count all we've lost;
The more I'm scared that the next -

might be me...
I can't sleep at night ...
Elijah Mar 2014
The world needs balance,
The world needs balance.
Wake up to the news every morning of homies Wildin.

Why don't you stay in school?
Education succeeds violence.
Why spend your life in the hood?
Get a new challenge.

Get some new talents,
The trap game gets old.
Half the ones that say they trap,
Get in the real game and just fold.

Never going for the gold,
But they settle for them metals.
Just be palming on that pistol,
Advocate for the devil.

Willing to **** to survive,
So much pain in mothers' eyes.
Lost two sons:
one to system & and one to the skies .

The devil in disguise ,
He don't care who stay alive .
He just wanna create chaos ,
He just wanna ruin lives.

Heaven or hell ?
You choose .
Whether Dead or in jail?
You lose .
Heartless or heartbroken ?
Stories rolling on the news.

I'm never amused.
My generations amusement.
Six flags fall to half-staff,
My generation is losing.

Dying off.

Kids my age aren’t coming home.

I’m realizing, kids my age aren't coming home.
Some wonder why I write poems.
Just So you can feel me and my standpoint,
Cause I never been good with words unless I write out what I've planned. Huh?


Wishing we could talk to God more.

Wishing the FEDERAL government would provide more;
assistance for college that's why these kids quittin' .
They lack the AMBITION,
And  incentives to keep them driven.  

Unemployment is high .
These kids gettin higher.
In an attempt to talk to God ;
So they all Rastafari .

Playing host to a chess game.
Satan Versus God.
But you can't wither & Waver,
Gotta pick & choose your side.

So whose side do your reside on?
I mean, who do you rely on?
This cold world, but no heat.
Can't stay wrinkle free, without an iron.

Perfection's in belief.
Belief is in faith.
Faith is discussion.
So who do you discuss today?

Give them something to talk about…
written during a dark time in my life. shortly after high school i lost a friend; he got stabbed in the heart by another friend of mine. so i lost TWO friends: one is dead, and one is in jail. i often questioned why i still remain. but , i think im beginning to know why - my purpose is written, and God holds the key...

Read Please, and enjoy.
Elijah Sep 2016
Take me back to the 90’s -
where we cared less, but loved more.
here, we’re glorified for our past -
where we went out and played Real Games, OUTSIDE.
before the time flew by,
before the new millennium crept in while we were sleeping;
altering the basis of what tender, love, and care really was.

We grew up with very little household rules.
because we understood the consequences that would ensue had we not followed the ones that were already in place.
society had rules. and still do, to this day.
we grew up embellished in love -
no matter the race,
no matter straight, or gay.
we grew up knowing, never to judge.

TV actually taught us things.
cartoons where we’d learn math, or English in the songs we sang.
late nights risking it all because we were supposed to be in be,
but “All That” came on and all that mattered was that we watch the latest episode.

We didn’t have twitter.
We didn’t have facebook, who was mark?
Myspace wasn’t even in its beginning stages.
snapchat didn't even have a place to start.
instead, we might’ve had AIM.
or, we might’ve borrowed our parents’ usernames.

We never knew what X-box was,
playstation 1 was just starting to blossom.
Nintendo was our heart,
sad now it’s like - fossils.
and computer games ruled/
of course, after - our homework was done;
or maybe we used computer games to help with our homework.
numbers munchers, word munchers, math blaster;
teachers lasted. because we loved them,
they knew what we wanted without even asking.
they made things happen...
school was more than boring lectures,
recess was a thing.
like, 30 to 40 minutes of “play time”, to give rest to our brains...

90’s movies:
- “The Hackers”
-”Disclosure”
-”Enemy Of State.” was life.
-”Space Jam.” ...
OH, SPACE JAM. how badly I wanted to be Like Mike!
everyday, trying to brush up on my skills -
sadly, they’d never take flight.
but, as a 90’s kid, imagination was like 90 percent of our life.
“Dream it, Wish it, Do it.”
Be, IT!

Be, It!
hide and seek, how I never wanted to.
had to make yourselves practically invisible for ten minutes max;
or just long enough to catch a break and make a dash for base.
TAG! you’re it.
if you couldn't quite make it.
catch me if you can...
Ahh, games we played as kids.
make you wanna be there again.

90’s. Friends.
Savage like Ben,
But Strong Riders.
Every boy wanted a girl like Topanga. she was strong, and a rider.
we was learning life through the lifestyle of “boy meets world.”
Just so like, we could be ready -
when the boy meets world,
and then boy meets girl,
and girl have kid,
and the kid grows up -
And in the world he lives...

In the world he lives...

This world,
the current one.
the one the hosts our once great nation.
the one that is smoke and mirrors.
the one that was meant to be a great creation.
yet somehow, somewhere, we’ve all changed the meaning of our existence to chastising and hating, each other.

Hating each other.
got me constantly questioning, “Where Is The Love?”
freedom is not free.
the cost is actually more expensive now.
bodies fall on average, about every 3 months.
Whites **** blacks , but blacks also, **** us.
and All Lives Matter -
I'm not sure why they only chant that black ones do,
if they only say black lives matter when a white man shoots...

Take me back to the 90’s.
where things weren't as bad.
Take me back to the 90’s.
where I was young and,
less sad.

Take me back to the 90’s;
we’re having fun meant having fun.
take me back to the 90’s;
where disagreeing with someone, didn't mean you grab a gun.

Take me back to the 90’s;
the perfect era to raise kids in...
Take me back to the 90’s;
at least there,
the world SEEMED innocent.

-Lij
Elijah Mar 2014
This is what you do to me:
Keep the thoughts coming like waves, I get paid,
but even if i was broke, I could live off of just knowing you.
Your image; God Given.
Im Cristal sippin’;
Having dreams;
Seeing visions,
Comparing you to an image;
Of angels.

Caught in the game and it’s one I can’t postpone.
Because it’s you that I really want, im just in hopes that you will know.
Come to your senses.
They say it’s senseless;
I keep writing about you,
But they don’t know.

When you’re really in love,
Just got to let her go.
And if her love matches your love,
Then you’ll forever know.
And grow together, saying promise after promise.
I try to hide it,
But I just can’t conceal it.

Kerosene heart pumps your name through my veins,
To my brain, on my mind, is where you stay – all day.

Showing no emotion.
But as sensitive as ever,
When your name is spoken,
I go insane.

& this has got to be my longest crush ever,
And if we ever get together,
We’d be together for-ever.
But knowing it isn’t ever,
Remotely possible.
But is it plausible to dream?
I can’t hit the pause button on my dreams.

… And so here I am,
Lying here – without you.
Everything I ever written is – about you.
Thinking; how right the world would feel if this dream was real.
You could transform my dark to light.
… But it’s just another night.
Elijah Apr 2016
We're still staring each other in the eyes, it's nearing 6 am.
We're still in that dingy hospital room, us and 5 of our friends.
You're still a mess, and broken down.
I still wish it was from being loved.
I wish like you wish, that my love could make you real.

Where did the time go?
I nearly begged my father for more.
So, I gave you all of me.
The serious sides,
But it wasn't enough to settle scores.

It wasn't hard to give away, it was just more that you was searching.
I remembered your smile at me your eyes had made it worth it.
The baby smiled at our world with warmth and so much love.
Held your heart in his hands, promising no matter what, it will be safe in his touch.

Tonight you're alone.
We're all split up, for some reason.
You're back in your room having visions of the park we used to visit.
Where our love was literally made tangible by etchings inside of wood.
Our barks now crumble,
As things no longer seem so good.
"The gradual corrosion of what once was,
And what will never be, again."

-Lij.
Response to a poem I read and grown quickly in love with titled , "Wednesday's child" by Sia Jane
Elijah Apr 2016
How could I ever forget?
I would never forget.
time is illmatic.
Thank you Nas for this classic.
Changed my life.

I remember when I was 6, I started to write.
Age 10 was like the halftime,
Took a break I had severe writers block, I couldn't focus to save my life.
Then I heard "NY state of mind", it changed my life.

Changed my life, And the way I write.
This album's the goat everyday for life. Taught me lessons momma couldn't teach me, bout being a man,
Cause my father wasn't round; though she did the best that she can so I ain't hating,
Never!
But your words were clever.
Ever so.

One love took me down memory lane;
When I was sitting in the park with this chick
I was insane fo'.
This album represented everything I ever went through in life.
It ain't hard to tell I wrote this one time 4 your mind.
And life's a lady dog but you told me that the world is mine;
This is the Genesis, what I wrote,
I live my life in these lines.

Thank you.

-Lij.
Wrote this for Nas. On the 22nd anniversary of his "illmatic" album release. Learned a lot from that album. And I keep learning. ✍
Elijah Apr 2016
I think it's safe to compare you,
To them nights when thunder roll through,
& lightening flash blue.

I think its safe,
To say that you're never around when it matters,
But here when I least expected you;
Causing commotion & clatter.

It's probably safe,
To say you're a storm - rolling into me,
Thunder; your words hitting me,
Like Lightening; my mind flashes between what we seem to be.
But we don't ever seem to be seen as that, to the world,
Guess you didn't wanna be my girl.
(Couldn't let me know?)

And like the seasons you would slowly FALL back,
Leave me SPRUNG,
Cold as hell in the WINTER,
Waiting for SUMMER.
Probably safe to say,
I had lust up in my eyes, plus it was raining lots of pride.
I couldn't see that you were playing me,
Through the storm my mind wouldn’t be eased.
I didn’t know that you would recede,
Safe to say you was like the highest tide.
My heart was like the beach,
You came through and took parts of me back with you.

Safe to say;
You’re like a hurricane.
Had me spinning.
Pulled me your way,
Then blew me away.
Flooded my brain with intentions I thought were the purest.
Come to find out, in time you were only playing.

You rolled in like thunder,
I still see Flashes of your face like lightening.

The first of many.
And like that,
You were gone....

Like a Summer storm.
Little something I wrote in 2013 that I dug up. Love it. Hope you'll enjoy it too
Elijah Jun 2016
You can officially say,

That I wrote about you.

That for all of, 5 minutes,

You were my muse.

But yes, I've written about you.

I write about all of my exes,

My friends, close or far, the affects love has on my life, my life, my family, my car.

I've written;

this all to say...

it's not you - it's me.

So i wrote about me, through you.

I told you I'm a newer lover;

It was all news to me;

I had no other experience from before as you had,

But, I was infatuated with your essence.

Your presence.
Was a present;

You passed it, and I gave you to the hunger

of my paper and pen;

And then,

You'll smile thinking all the while:

'Haha, I'm in his head!'

Nah, it's cool enjoy that time.

Just know this hurts me more.

But at least you can say

That I did write about you.

For 10 minutes a day,

Even 3 on these bus rides

You were my muse.

You were the reason for these lines...
I loved the original poem so much that I just had to write it from a males point of view.  The original "I wrote"  is by an amazing  woman on Wordpress who's name is, CroseMary... Enjoy
Elijah May 2016
I've been away for a long time.
You can blame me if you want to.
I never said what was on my mind.
But you was always there to run to.

And you wonder "why the distance?"
You think it's you but it's me, trippin.
Making excuses, saying that I never been in love.
You wasn't having it;
You heard better stories.
You said I'm full of it,
Now I'm Macaulay Culkin;
home alone.

I just wish that I could have last summer back.
Just to redo what I couldn't do.
Ain't no reason I shouldn't be with you.
Feel like I broke your heart,
You said "that's almost true."
Because I left you so abrupt;
You ain't know what to do.

Maybe I was nervous.
Who really knows?
You thought I wasn't loyal.
You thought my "love" was hoax.
But I wasn't playing.
Sad it's been too long,
Everyday I just stare at your name in my phone.

Maybe I was wrong..
New poem. You get first guys. Take care!

— The End —