Looking out my window I see signs of spring
the small green blades that signal winters end
I should be rejoicing but I sit here in sullen silence
The birdsong is clear and joyous in the the yet cold air
and the last of the ash coloured snow melts its way down through the grate
but once more I sit here wrapped in self pity
My small companions tumble and spin at my feet they are great stalkers
and most wondrous tumblers
But here I sit cataloging my fears, my pains and trespasses
Suddenly there is a soft light that enfolds
I close my eyes for I know my Lady has come
Her soft voice asks "why do you forge such a burden child?"
"I forge Lady? looking up to Her " I don't understand. These hurts have been done to me they are not my transgressions not a burden to forge to carry, "

She smiled and gathered all my hurts into her lap and slowly one by one she drops them "
"These are indeed hurts against you and you keep them well polished with constant care and attention,
why hold them close they have done their work why hold them any longer?"
and She dropped them one by one and as She dropped them they shimmered and vanished.
"These things only have power from you, if you do not allow them they cannot hurt you".
"Do not give your life to those things that are in their essence harmful.
Little Sister this is a burden YOU make by your choice
" I bid you begin another chain one of joy and contentment of generosity of time and of sharing. you will find your burden much lighter and will find there will be many more that would share your burden .
And just as suddenly as She came the light faded though I was warm still

My choice .. of course it was I had known it all along So I rise from my small chair at my window and choose...I choose to be apart of my life
I choose to share what knowledge I can with those that would seek
I will acknowledge my gifts and
I will not cherish those troubles that this turn of the wheel are mine.
I choose to participate
I choose to acknowledge
I choose to celebrate
I chose ... to Live

My Lady I thank You
With no berating... no sin or damnation once more I am on my Path
I am so blessed in Her light

Solita -2007



Author's Location: Toronto

While I Weep ...
-------------------------------------------------------------­------------------
Hold me while I weep

Hold me while I weep
Only allow my tears to drench your hands as you cradle me

Hold me while I weep
While I shake and cough against you

Hold me while I weep

I will not ask you to fly to the sun
Nor build me a castle in the sky

Do not dry my tears nor try to make
that which has rended me right once more

Do not weep with me

I ask you only

To hold me while I weep

Solitaire @ 2007

I am in a dark silent place without scent or colour

I am beyond reach and fear

Perhaps beyond hope and love

It is a difficult place to reach and there are no rewards ... no guarantee 's

Will you reach for me? Will you extend your hand when there is no hope of gratitude or acknowledgment?

Will you shrug and say "Ive done my best" and wander on?

Will you pass me by because I am unable to call to you?

Once you called me friend , Sister, teacher ... Do these have meaning to you still?

I find myself here in a darkling place it is a quiet place it is a safe but deadly place ..will you leave me here in this soft warm trap?

Or ... will you chance my wrath and pull me kicking and screaming into the light and the world of the living and life

will you endure my screams and futile battles?

And at last ...bring me home to you?

Shall I wait for you ..or sleep My Friend, Sister.Teacher, Shall I wait?

Sleep

The clocks lighted numbers mock my pillow

The hour of the wolf

and I am wakeful beyond consciousness

each creak and rustle is magnified endlessly

I search my mind for promises unkept

one of my top ten sleep chasers

but in finding none wander further afield

what holds me from Hypnos grasp?

I am weary tired and beyond caring

What a fickle friend is this stealer of life

I court him and seek him

serenade and placate him

All for naught

I wont get up I wont I wont!!

Sleep is owed!
I will collect!!

Weight or Wings?

Another day Another night

Wondering if what I am doing is doing is any kind of right

Teaching.. Yes
There are those who still Seek and many more that are genuinely curious.

But time seems too finite for that which needs doing

And today the scales are unbalanced
and so
I too am unbalanced

There are lessons to write and correct
The Circle to tend and a few neighbours to visit
And my own home to tend with 7 wee souls and my Lifemate and his family as well

Responsibilities that most days buoy my steps ... today are just a weight, heavy and dark and unyielding

Perhaps tomorrow once more I will fly

but today ... just today I am finding the weight too heavy and a burden I cannot manage

Perhaps tomorrow I will Fly