And maybe if i close my EYES.
You wont see the pain i hide INSIDE.
Cant get over all this HURT.
And maybe if i only mourn INSIDE.
You wont see the pain you put into my EYES.

I lost.
was defeated.
im tired
and im heated
Never knowing what to think
When no one heres to blame
I was flushed down the sink
Defeated by this game.
Im fighting to stay strong
Everything is so wrong
So ill sit alone in the ditch,
Because no one can love a *****.
Ill sit here alone,
While you go off and be free
Ill sit back and watch
As you can finally be happy.

I cant stop crying
As my soul is dying
My heart is hurting
And my mouth is drying
I take a sip
To wet my lips
That feeling of release
Puts me at ease
Until the buzz starts to lack
And the pain rushes back
No worries
Ill just wash it back down
This time with a swig not a sip
It may be temporary
But for now Im enjoying it
The pain in my life
Seems to be on full throttle
So for now Ill find my happiness
At the bottom of a bottle
The smooth gold liquid
Taking place of my tears
Caused by the pain
From all of these years
I still cant stop crying
As my soul is still dying
My heart is still hurting
But at least my mouth isnt drying.

I dont know
If things can ever be the same
You walked out on me
Through the same door you came
I can try to convince myself all I want
Say Im no longer a choice
But I cant fool myself
With the falseness in my voice
I love you
I want you
But you dont want me
So I guess Ill pretend
And just set you free
Ill pretend to be okay
Though this smile is a lie
For once you look away
I cant help but cry
After all of this
You might think me a fool, like the rest
But Id come running back
At the sound of your request.

Is that really better than dying
Im sitting here trying
All youre doing is goodbye-ing
My heart is breaking
My body's shaking
I wish I was dreaming
Im no longer breathing
The world is turning
But I'm not moving
Instead Im stuck here crying
Still wishing I was dying.

So small in your youth
But you were taken away
At such a young age
What a dreadfull day
Though we never met
Stories I have heard
Now I'll never get the chance
As you've been taken from this world
Blonde hair, blue eyes
The classic family trait
Now gone with the blink of an eye
How can we call this fate
Lifes not fair
Nor is death
You were so full of life
As you took your last breath
These things I've come to see
Of which I dont understand
These unfortunate events
I'm not sure anyone can
Can anyone understand
Why bad things always happen
To the people of least deserving
To even the kindest men
There will never again be a day
That the sun will rise to her
To reveal her smiling face
So full of joy and laughter
2 years and 17 days
Is all the time you had
But all the smiles and joy
For that I am glad
The short time we had you
Was better than none at all
You were held so high and mighty
Why did you have to fall
Death is a strong word
With such a gloomy tone
Even harder it does get
When we lose one of our own
I'll never get to hold you
As you didnt live that long
One day you were here
And the next day you were gone
Accidents happen
And they can rip us apart
And though you're no longer here
You're forever in my heart.