I've been lookin' for you.
The one with the kind eyes and the humble laugh,
The smile that spreads across the whole sky
As I find myself lost in the clouds that are born from the scent of you.
I don't think I ever knew what you'd be like,
Other than that the warmth of your heart could thaw my hands after trying to keep me afloat all winter,
That a keen stare could be so gentle that it smooths every corner of my armor,
Or that a tree so steady could bend so far
To show me that soft can still be strong.

It's always blown me away how people can sleep with a sweatshirt on -
That burns me up,
Chokes me.

It wasn't until now,
Now that I sleep alone in the dead of winter,
Desperately trying to be my own best friend,
Doing my best to hold myself together,
That I've realized
The more layers I wear,
The longer it should take for me to fall completely apart.

The difference is hidden in how I feel even when you're gone.
I still feel whole,
Like a part of me is just somewhere else
But it will be back,
Because it said it would be.
And I don't feel like I'm going to die
Every time I wake up alone
Or rest my head
In my own hands
Because that doesn't mean that
I've crumbled,
It only means I can hold myself together.

If I could collect all the tears I've cried
And hand them back to the persons responsible,
Some of you would be dry as the summer sun,
others may be soaked.
But somehow I'll still be the one
Who drowns in the end.

When it pours, take my hand
and I'll help you find the music to dance to amongst the raindrops -
If you listen closely, my heart beats to the same rhythm as the lost notes from your favorite childhood song.
When it's dark, follow my flashlight -
I'll lead you into my fort of blankets
And keep you warm through the night.

My hands are rough from all the nights I've had to push myself up off my knees.

My lips are chapped from biting back the screams -
Fits of rage still linger in the corners of my eyes. I have been tired.

My shoulders are strong from the weight I carry for those around me.
I'd go hungry to lessen the growls within you.

I'd build a city,
Live on the streets to know I have lit up your nights
And sheltered you from the storm that blows around me.

My friends are made of cement,
Hard as statues,
never bending to the winds of change
No matter how wild the storms rage.
Somehow they chose me
To join their monument,
Although my corners crumble
And my creases are no longer defined-
I'm not as sturdy as I should be.
How do you ask a statue if you may lean on it?

I punched my reflection, square in the jaw
And she showed me who I really am.