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179 · Jan 2019
deep hole
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
A hole was dug so deep
That one cannot climb out
A heart shatters everyday
Because it cannot have what it wants
A soul is dying because it yearns
And it Longs for a love that’s
Never really been there
The eyes are shedding tears
Joyous tears they are not
But of
Loneliness, hurt, pain, and anger
The mouth does not smile
For it does not have a reason to
The mind wonders,
And it asks?
But why? Why all of this?
Couldn’t you just love me enough?
Couldn’t you want me enough?
Why? Why wasn’t I worth being with?
A hole was dug so deep
One cannot climb out
They just drown in sorrow everyday
Mourning the death of a love
That could never be reciprocated
Though the bones are becoming brittle
And as they ache
For the happiness of another
It’s all well worth it
As the heart will sink to the pit of the stomach
There’s just this hole that just got too deep
And there’s no climbing out from.
161 · Jan 2019
You were
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
You were my rising sun
But now you’re nothing more then a rain storm
You brightened my days up
Now they’re filled with darkness
you were the stars
That I wished upon to always have
Now I wish we never met
You were my moonlight
Made my nights warmer and safer
But now the nights are long and cold
You filled my heart with joy and hope
Then you broke me
Shattered me into a million pieces
In your arms I once felt so safe
Alone I could have never felt more
You were my everything
You still are
You are the reason
My aching heart dies slowly
Every thought of you
Kills me slowly
You were the air I breathe
Now I am grasping for life
You were my angel
But the truth is you’re the devil in disguise
The man of my dreams; you were
But I was a fool
Because to you I was never what you were to me
158 · Jan 2019
my love holds no distance
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
apart we may be
but my love holds no distance
millions of miles away
we may be
but the moon we look at
will always be the same
call out my name
and there I'll be
watching you
from afar
apart we may be
but where ever you decide to turn
darling there I will be
forever I will be
embedded into your memory
no matter how apart
or how far
I have left a piece of me
so you can never forget
that my love holds no distance
149 · Jan 2019
You Are
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
You are a,
Thunder roaring,
Lightening bursting,
Fire burning,
Heart exploding,
Dream crushing,
Sadistic loving,
Narcissistic caring,
soul deriving,
Person
143 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
they say what a beutiful day
they say it’s always your way
but they never say it will always be the other way
looking out at the beautiful day
seeing it all shatter like glass upon my eyes
bright blue skies turn to dusk
bright days are now gloomy
dreams are only dreams
and stars are no longer worth wishing on
they say live it up
so give em’ a cup
pour the drinks let’s see your bodies move
but every movement is in slow motion
to escape would be to live
but to live you need to escape
the happy face turns into a frown
the bright happy eyes are now pouring down
warm waters rolling down the cheecks
splatters onto the ground and splash
all is quiet, you can almost hear it, you’re alone
no where to go or run or even trun
and then they say life is an amazing thing
142 · Jan 2019
Just a thought
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
People don’t change, they just show their true colors of who they really are.
140 · Aug 2020
Untitled
Sedina Durmic Aug 2020
You hurt me I hurt you
I loved you
Beyond words
Beyond imagination
Beyond explanation
I left you
And if you ask me why
I won’t have an answer
I didn’t want to keep hurting
And you kept on hurting me
I didn’t want to hurt one another
And we kept on doing so
Love wasn’t enough
That’s whAt you told me once
I understood that when I left
132 · Mar 2019
You were everything
Sedina Durmic Mar 2019
You were the sun that brightened my day
The stars that lit up the dark night
The lyrics to my favorite love songs
The dreams I never want to wake up from
You were the joy to my tears
Perfect couldn’t have existed until I met you
You were the glow to my soul
The beat to my heart
You were my right hand
Your love was only 6 hours in distance
But seemed like it was a second away
Your arms were my castle
Safe and warm
Tender and caring
Heaven was with you
And I’d go through hell and back just to get to you
129 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
Where has the time went what has life done to me
where has happiness gone where do i stand
I have not learned to deal with this sort of pain
Ive left my heart in your far away land
emptiness is my home; your hate is my sorrow
my happiness i strive for; my love i no longer have
only the memory of you of our memories
The tears i fight back as much as i can and as painful but possible it is.
Dreams are no longer dreamt
you've become a nightmare something my soul desires so deeply
I may be standing, breathing, and moving
but i no longer have the life i had
i no longer have the me i was but only the spirit
I desire to regain myself but truthfully inside i am dead
my days are cold and will remain cold
No matters no importance i am no longer here
My insperation is gone my heart is still weeping
Ive lost myself
Ive forgotten what it is to be happy
I feel empty and in my sroryline and weather my days always rain and there are always dark clouds
Emptiness and dark shadows are all i feel and see
129 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
Without you love is dead,

beliefs are gone,
happiness is long lost,

loneliness Settles in and darkness follows,
my heart contains you and I,

my love yearns you,

we aren’t what should be and what could be, is meant to be,

without you my world is lost,

when you’re gone then my all is gone,

my happiness flutters with you there,

with you i see the beauty in things i never seen,

how we feel i wish everyone can have,

feelings so mutual are so beautiful,

your love saves me everytime,

without you i don’t know how we could be anything,

it kills me to be just friends,

why can’t or won’t i let us be

what should be,

*WE JUST BELONG……..
128 · Aug 2020
The old me
Sedina Durmic Aug 2020
**** I miss the old me
Sitting here listening to the songs that remind me of everything before
It seems so hard to go back to who I once was
A happy person
Who use to do her nails
Get her hair done
Get all dolled up
No matter if staying inside or going out
You used to love my feet and my hands
You said they were ****
So i always made sure they were done nice and pretty
You loved it when I made an effort
So I made sure I always looked good
You made me feel beautiful
You made me feel amazing
You used to brag about me
It use to make me blush
Things went bad and you made me feel ugly
You made me feel fat and disgusting
So I gained weight
I stoped trying
I no longer do my nails or get dolled up
Sweat pants and T-shirts’ is all I wear
I don’t really care anymore
But now I miss the old me
I miss the me I always was and let you take away
I miss the me you’ve changed with all the hurt and pain
I just miss the old me
119 · Jan 2019
Watch me
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
close me down
take my crown
steal my shine
as we entwine
rip me apart
as you hold me close to your heart
hold me tight
as you watch me fight
listen to me weep
how my soul falls so deep
watch me drown
because of your gift given frown
watch me break and shatter
when all you did was just watch
118 · Mar 2021
Here I Am
Sedina Durmic Mar 2021
Here I am checking up on you again
Here I am going through your followers
Here I am looking at our mutual friends checking if you liked a picture or not
Here I am still getting so weak as I speak of you
My voice is trembling my hands are shaking
Wondering how much I’d fall apart if we spoke once more
Here I am still missing you
Here I am still so in love with you
Sitting here still so ****** up over you
Here I am blaming myself again
Trying to apologize for loving you too much
For being human
For making expected mistakes after being broken by you
Here I am wondering if you miss me too
Wondering if you think about me
Here I am thinking certain songs you post and the matching shirt you wear has something to do with you thinking about me
Here I am still thinking that you may be just as in love with me as I am with you still
Here I am still in denial
Here I am wasting my time and thoughts on you
Reliving my memories with you
Here I am wishing it was just us once again
Here I go getting all sad
Over someone who never really deserved me
But I love you anyway
117 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Sedina Durmic Jan 2019
Deep within lies a burning soul
Hopeless dying life
Slam me down break me open
Look me in the eyes say I don't love you
Squeezing my heart with your bare hands
Squeezing out every bit of life that beats within
My life what a strife
I die within
I cry deep down
Every day and every night
Slowly I fade away no one knows only I
This pain is my gain
His love was my strain
These tears my fears
Far away beyond my dreams
Happiness stands beyond my belief
Sadness and a broken heart is in my grief
As my life hangs on the edge
My love will always stand strong
With me here or with me gone
You are my song to this sad poem
You are my tears to these words
Your are the loss from my fears
And now I stand in despair
For my love stands high
I'll always love you
I thought I knew what love was before, but now i truly know what it is, this poem means more now then 7/8 years ago
113 · Apr 2020
I miss you
Sedina Durmic Apr 2020
Never have I loved someone so much
Never enough to see them in my dreams every night
Never enough to ache all over
We gave up
I don’t know why anymore
Maybe it was too broken to fix
Maybe we didn’t care to try anymore
Maybe we just knew nothing would change
He hurt me
Destroyed me
Broke me
He left me the way he found me
And nothing would ever fix that hurt caused
So why did we bother
I’m still losing my mind over him
While he lives on like I don’t exist
So many regrets
So many wishes and dreams
We broke eachother in the end
But he’ll always be my other half
There was a bond and no matter the damage, the mean and hurtful things said he’ll always be in my heart
I’ll always wonder and I’ll always have an unsent text written out.
I love you
Forever and always
And I am always looking at the moon
Talking to you
Hoping you’ll hear me
And talk back too.

— The End —