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Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
With your radiant smile,
waking my heart from its slumber after,
what feels like,
years of hitting the snooze button.
I feel as if I'm laying in bed,
sunshine peaking through the corners of my thick curtains.
As I look around the room
I feel I've never seen before
it becomes very clear that this
is my home.
The first steps onto the floor
are like
running my fingers through your hair, familiar and comforting.
Your touch,
warmth creeping from the ceiling chasing away the rush of cold
that comes with exiting bed
on a winter morning.
I wander through the room
taking in the calming feel
of the cool green paint on the walls, sunset peeking through the canopy
of the woods that I plan on taking you,
one day.
I find myself resting my hand on a messy desk.
It reminds me of how cluttered your head is.
Trying to sort through the papers seems impossible.
I found a lot of amazing poetry
and a lot of sad thoughts jotted down
Abandoned rough sketches.
I like this room a lot.
The ceiling has a line of paint flicked across it,
stars in the night.  
I enjoy it, 'Tis Like freckles.
It's sporadic, draws my attention to it. The bed is large,
I'm only now noticing it.
Comfortable, it seems easy to overlook . I'm glad I didn't.
The door is open,
I wonder where it leads
as I let my overwhelming curiosity lead me.
Into the next room.
This is the first of a group of poems about the woman I love based on a writing prompt I found here on hello poetry. I hope she understands how much I truly adore her. I, also, hope she follows me as I lead her through what I see and feel when I see her. This is an adventure that I know will only grow as we do. This project makes me happy.
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
People always say close your eyes and picture a "happy place"
It's hard to picture a "happy place" without you.
My first thought is us on my bed while you play video games.
My second; is in your bed, watching you do your make up in the bathroom.
You've weaved yourself into my life
And like noticing a missed stitch when knitting,
I'll always know your there. And I know I can't change how much I love you
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
I'm drunkenly falling into bed.
I keep telling myself I won't miss the way you smell after a shower
Or
even the sweet smell of your sweat
As we fell asleep.  
I know I will.
Two nights ago
when I was passed out, drunk, on your couch,
You asked me to sleep with you.
I don't hope you see it,
But,
I feel so ******* hollow knowing that you could only love me day by day.
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
I hope whoever you next "fall for"
Is whatever you're looking for in a partner.
Despite all of this ****, I still want you to be happy.
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
I wish I had the heart to forget you
But no one catches my eye like you do
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
I'm a bitter,
Self loathing
*******.
I can see why it's hard to love me.
I'm a borderline alcoholic with aspirations of suicide so **** a dream
I'll live in this nightmare
and rub these drunk and sleepy eyes.
I hope you find your stupid ******* puzzle piece.
I'm a diamond in the rough, or so I thought.
I'll swallow the ******* rocks you gave me.
I hope you find whatever makes you happy.
Whilst I sit and wonder why I even tried,
when you never treated me like you loved me.
seven year check in "YIKES"
Denxai Mcmillon May 2015
I'm so insecure,
I'm scared to lean too heavily on you.
You already said you have too much on your plate to support another.
So I'm off to find a crutch.
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