As long back as I remember
The river flowed past
Through fields and forest
A sea of trees and grass
In winter and in summer
In spring and in the fall
A’bubbling and a’splashing
Sometimes a torrent, other times calm

Late into the evening
After the sun has gone to bed
I sit and rock on my back porch
On a pillow rests my weary head
I listen to her flowing
She’s comforting to me
A few moments in sweet silence
A time to gently just be

The river she don’t mind it
She welcomes my touch to her banks
Her waves they caress me
And silently I wake
I would not willingly leave here
This restful healing place
My life is spent beside her
She puts a smile upon my face

My world revolves around two awesome kids of mine
I did my best to raise them
in this crazy mixed up time

My son, he is the older, growing wiser, every day it seems
My daughter, she is bolder, full of fire and full of steam

No matter how old they get
they’ll forever be my kids.
I did my best to raise them
just like my Mom did

We disagreed and feuded, but it was always full of love.
I did my best to be a good example, as instructed by the Lord above

I will always fight for what’s best for them
it’s in my nature you see.
Their hurts, they still hurt me too
regardless of age or beliefs

My babies will someday marry
I pray for them everyday
I hope they make the best choice possible
Someone who’s got their back come what may.

Dear son and my dear daughter
Listen to these words of mine
Take heed of my warnings
And make my wisdom thine

It is not out of fear of loss
that I give you my advice
It is out of my deep love for you
May it prevent you paying a price

Sometime in the distant future
I’ll go to heaven, one sweet day
There you’ll find me waiting
May your joining be delayed

It’s easy in this world today to feel alone and scared
Especially as things happen in life for which you’re not prepared
It’s easy to lose faith and sight upon the Lord above
But never allow yourself to forget or dismiss our Fathers boundless love

He shows it in a phone call or smile from a long lost friend
He shows it as you’re adopted by a family just like long lost kin

He’ll show it in the sunrise of the day
He’ll give you many blessings and little signs along the way

He’ll demonstrate His greatness in the evening setting sun
He’ll remind you that in Heaven is where life is just begun

So when you’re feeling
Alone, afraid, and scared
Just call on Him for peace
You will be blessed beyond compare

Lord I thank you daily
for big and little things
But most of all forgiveness, bought by your Son on Calvary

I’m not young
but I’m not old
I’m somewhere in between
I’m still funny
Though less wild
I sometimes live in my dreams

I’m halfway through
The average years
My hopes and goals still shine
But late at night
An empty bed
Is all that I call mine

My friends have married
Some moved away
And here’s the latest pain
Their kids are grown
and married now
Loneliness remains my shame

I have a life that most would love
A job in which I excel
But late at night when I’m alone
It’s my own most personal hell

Be still and know that I’m still here
I’m just in a different phase
I loved you once and time again
I wouldn’t leave this place

Be still and know that I love you
Feel my fingers upon your face
Those teardrops fall forever more
And I’m singing amazing grace

Daylight is nigh, from your bed you rise
On your dresser, your veil of lace
My love, my life, my paradise
In your hands my heart still lays

A song will come on the radio
Or on YouTube late at night
I’ll sit and sing along with it
Not knowing if I’m alright

It’s almost been three years ago since both of you left me
Day by day I’m struggling, terrified of what my life might bring

Every since the memorial
Where I did my best to honor
The love and all the memories
Of my Mother and of my Father

I still don’t know how I am putting
One foot in front of the other
I trudge along repeatedly
One nights just like another

Lord why do I put a song on repeat
Which draws tears from my eyes
Except pain’s the only lasting feeling
Since my parents took to sky

I don’t know how to say I’m sorry
And show the meaning deep inside
I don’t know why I make you cry
Behind the doors you hide

I’m not the angry monster
I seem while at our home
I want to be much kinder
And not make you feel like you’re alone

Our wedding anniversary
Is just short weeks away
I know I never show it
I love you more each day

My heart it cries out in pain
Knowing how I make yours bleed
My job my car my sense of pride
You and our boys are all I need

I strive to become the example
Our two young men deserve
They are the best of both of us
Even when they’re on our nerves

In closing I ask more patience now
Than in the days before
Lord knows that I’m a work in progress
I want to give our family more.