let me love you down in
lavender sheets..

i dig my nails under rocks to
hide away my time capsule
soon to dig it up again like an issue with a significant other that you choose to postpone until the worst time.
i put in a ring
a letter
and a picture of me.

i put it in a small cardboard box
right next to the eggshell my mom planted so
all that would be left is
the ring as time goes on
hopefully.

yes
spanish mothers will always love their sons
not knowing the havoc they wreak
toward freshmen girls senses
harassing them
holding them
making them feel like
maybe it’s
supposed to feel like this..
supposed to be this way..

spanish mothers
will have a poté of arroz ready all the time for her growing boy
with a cold Malta w crushed ice at the ready.
spanish mothers
don’t believe the teachers at the conferences
about the talking and the disruptions in the class
mi niño nunca habla durante de la clase
she’s sure of it.
the teachers baffled thinking that if they told a parent
things would change.

nowhere to turn.
their sons won’t be stopped.







dun dun duuuuuuun

I was depressed when I stepped into the
L train
what was more visible though was my
anxiety from being a
bus-girl and not avidly riding
dingy.             rat-infested.           ***-reeking.     hobo-filled.
trains.

I sat right next to the most evil looking
character from a beloved Disney movie.
He asked me how my morning was going
as he held his coffee in his left hand and
a cigarette in the right.
breath reeking of sadness greater than mine.
such a New Yorker thing.

I told him about my friend moving away and how I was so sad I made my mom cry
And then he told me about how he was sad when his friend decided not to share a cardboard box with him..and I kinda just nodded
hoping he wasn’t serious.

train people are interesting so
in order for Joey- yes his name was Joey- to stop talking to me
I started to write about all the
sweetbitter things about the train
and if Joey just wanted to feel like he was relatable again..

i learned/ i was told in fourth grade
that when you talk really gentle and sweetly
to a plant
it’ll grow faster than if it was in a loud and angry environment.
i was given a small aloe bulb and i kept her,
promised i’ll water her when it’s necessary and a little bit in between
and put her up on the window that catches the most light.
and so i followed through
and so did she.
and now i cut open her prickly yet juicy leaves whenever i need an organic face mask for my hideous adolescent skin.

she wore bright pink socks with
yellow butterflies that she stole from
her little sister
that were on more of the smaller side
underneath her
Nike Prestos..

they were red..

and the color combo was bothering my eyes.