my pale palms were up
catching the scorching tears that
snuck out of its ducts
with my head faced down
impressionable and ill-hearted..
for it seemed like i
had no choice earlier but to


run and look for answers




-what have i done

all your demons have finally died
my love..

oh but i
adore you so much my love..

i feel lightheaded from all the hyperventilating..
i slept well that night i ain’t even gon’ lie
i had another sepia dream too..
mhm
but less of what you’re expecting

i dreamt of gravity keeping us around..
and nothing stopped us
and no one came in between..

explain to me truly beb..
what is this love..

it was just a simple question

which led things back to how
it used to be

tense conversations
poker faces and
unreasonable conclusions

immediately after you want to sleep with me?

*** ok.

before i used to be quiet and i’d let you walk all over me
never voicing my opinion in fear of getting
beaten.
but things changed
and you’re not used it
you’re not used to me voicing my thoughts and
since it’s what you don’t
want
to hear..

we’re back to square one..


basically just
leave me @#$& alone

i can never admire a garden again
for i see your reflection in the flowers..

i can never write a love letter again
for i fear it reminds me of all of what we had..

i can never deny you again..
for we both know
i can’t..
and

i can never be myself again
for i fear

you’re doing fine
without me and my
melancholic writings..

oh how i long for his envious
touch
he always knew what he wanted..
took charge and was unapologetic..
he believed in etiquette
so he always needed me to say
please and
thank you..
he took posture very seriously so he always
had me arch my back to get a better angle
at his beloved but not for too long..
so thoughtful..
truly he was..