Liquor lubricates my inhibition
I like it
The feeling just between sober and over intoxicated

But
Ive been made aware
That this is not sustainable

Eventually
The trauma catches up

Self harm
Comes in many forms

Spent the last 5 years
Forgetting
To make a therapist appointment
Self diagnosed myself
A couple times over
Muted myself
With medication
And YouTube recommendations
I put off
Writing a love letter
To my best friend
Sigh
To what could have been

Still
I’m happy

Not all the time
Of course
But,
Enough.

It’s just not healthy to keep your mind up past its capacity.
As romanticized as 4am is, you brain will lose elasticity.
Just give it up and go close your eyes.
Save your energy for the sunrise.

MY MIND
is bursting and I am growing frustrated. I am losing the ability to communicate. I am sitting in darkness and my words are worthless. Thoughts scroll and scream without meaning. It’s almost 4 am here in some random world location. Inside my head I wonder what is happening on the exact other side. The SUN shines bright somewhere as I sit in shadows. What has meaning? What has value? IS life subjective to where you sit? So many thoughts attack my being. But does it matter?

Did you know I loved you
when you left, last fall?
I didn't tell you
but, I thought you saw.
Now, you're not that far
still you never call.

I'm happy now
well, I want to be.

Sometimes, I wonder
do you think of me?

roses are red
just like my iris'
wait, ****, is this
Coronavirus?