The man made of glass

It wasn’t always like this.
There was a time I was normal.
It all happened so fast.
That’s the first time I shattered

I had to make a choice,
so the pieces were forced.
But like my favorite ornament,
the shards never fit back perfectly.

That’s what living feels like.
A sledgehammer slams into my side,
and I once again have to choose.
Of course, I’m a gambling man, I roll the dice.

It hurts so ******* bad.
So I don’t take pride in myself.
I hate the way they look at me.
Oh well, I breathe in and out; repeat.

My world is warm when I’m with someone,
it’s a toxic form of insulation.
I’m the equivalent of a moth-leech,
I’ll cling to you and sap your light.

Though in the beginning they see their light in me,
they’re mistaken into thinking I’m a firefly.
I’m sorry to say that this light isn’t mine,
if I stay near you I will hurt you.

I mean it when I say I’m sorry,
but no way in hell will I let you leave.
I NEED YOU, you can’t leave, you promised!
Ah yeah there it is, reality walks in as you walk out.

You can view me as a monster if you want,
because I really did mean it when I said I love you.
If hurting me or viewing me poorly helps you,
then of course I will understand, I’m a broken child too.

Why I’m incapable of holding grudges or hatred,
I understand what it’s like to try anything to avoid freezing.
Teachers, students and soldiers alike that made their disgust clear,
but i’ve had to deal with more intense hatred daily.

I’ve said it time and again,
there is a demon that shares my name.
If words were like weapons,
i’d be dead a million times over.

I’ll fall apart once again today like always.
My only strength is forcing my hollow shards together.
But there’s a little more of me missing,
because I’m so quick to give my shards away.

That’s fine, I’m used to not existing…
So please…
Do me a favor, ok?
Take the last few and place them on red.

For I’m a gambling man, you see?
With a revolver that’s oh so shiny.
One bullet spins round in the chamber,
I wonder how the dice will fall?

Click.

A bright, shining, feeling,
this girl, leaves me reeling.
All the cards she’s been dealing,
the pain, it’s been healing.

Little by little, I become new.
The sky above, shines so blue.
Our love is pure and true,
i’m stuck to her like glue.

Yet, one day, the sky turns gray.
It was a horrible day.
For the doctor showed her her way,
she was not to be here for much longer.

Why she did, I don’t know why,
but looking back it makes me cry.
She decided to tell a lie,
telling me “everything would be fine.”

The days passed by so fast,
I didn’t know they wouldn’t last.
If only she told me the truth,
if only i’d known she was dying.

Finally, the time came, she couldn’t hide.
Just like that, I was swept by the tide.
My world drowned with tears,
the woman I wanted to marry, was already taken.

Her name written on death’s note,
my love faded like the seconds.
Holding her hand, I felt her warmth,
I held it till that warmth was lost.

I laugh and I act and I'm me,
I'm everything that everyone wants me to be.
I smile and I lie and i'm me,
doing what everyone wants of me.

I'm happy,and nice, and nothing is ever wrong,
inside of my head--nothing but happy thoughts.
When you look at me, what do you see?
Nothing but a piece of photography.

Because what you don't understand,
Is you don't know the real me.
The one who has always been
hurt-ing, cry-ing, scream-ing.

The one that's been locked away,
deep inside his own misery.
The one that wants nothing more than to,
have someone set him free.

But I laugh and I act and I'm me,
I'm everything that everyone wants me to be.
I smile and I lie and I'm me,
doing what everyone wants of me.

I'm happy, and nice, and nothing is ever wrong,
or at least, that's what YOU think.
When you look at me I know what you really see,
is just some dumb, ugly, freak.

And deep inside, I hear you all laughing at me,
but it's ok, i'm so far gone, that i'm laughing too.

But it doesn't end there, at least not for me,
Because that kid is still trapped in his misery,
Waiting for someone to set him free,
Unable to see that all along,
He's always had the keys.

Humans really are so odd to understand
Can't someone just give them a hand?
It's quite painful to watch as they all
Try over and over to walk on the wall.

One foot in front of the other
They end up the same way so why bother?
Don't they ever get tired of failing?
It's like a train with no railing.

I think to myself "why do they continue to try?"
Wouldn't it just be easier to give up and cry?
And yet, even knowing it'd be easiest to quit,
they try over and over to reach the exit.

Suddenly, like magic, something changes.

Now they've learned to rely on each other.
And they are all climbing on top of one another.
And one by one they climb up that wall
and I realize that it wasn't too tall.

And thus, in my head, I think to myself,
I guess humans, aren't so bad, after all.

The faint scent still lingers in the bright sun-bathed room,
I can still feel the electric like tingle on my lips,
the world has never felt as great as it does right now,
I never, ever, want to leave this moment in time.

I think to myself about all of the moments in my life,
of all the things that have ever happened to me,
and while searching through the endless images,
I soon realize that they all pale in comparison to right now.

Her bright smile blinds me even from across the room,
I know that I must do everything to make this moment last longer,
sprinting down the room as fast as I posssibly can,
I barely manage to grab hold of her bright red sleeve,
and I take hold of more than just her hand, but of my future.

Startled, she looks back at me at first in terror, and then...
a gentle,warm, bright, happy, wonderfully-brilliant light shines,
and in this instant in time, I realize what i've created.
While leaning my face ever closer to hers, I seal this moment,
the best moment of my life.

Once upon a time,
someone solved a crime.
But the story that was told,
was really pretty old.

It was about this kid that died,
due to all his pride.
For you see he didn't listen,
and only wanted to glisten.

This led to his downfall,
with no one left to call.
For you see his fatal flaw,
was following the claw.

He wanted only to prove,
that he knew how to move.      
But now that kid is gone,
with every brand new dawn.

So to all of you out there,
listen to my swear:
If you don't pay attention,
and there is no relection,  
than you as well will find,
yourself stuck in a bind.

It's warm, and happy, and it's so bright
It makes you feel with your whole body
and brings only the light

When it's there you feel happy, young, and brand new
you want it to last forever, but even forever is too soon
It's this intense feeling that you never ever knew
and it's shown through people, wanting to spoon

And everyone around you has it and everything is so great
you're so happy for them , they've all taken the bait

Because now they're all ready to feed into lies
and they'll **** and they'll ****** till everyone dies
they'll watch as the blood drip drip drips out their eyes
like tears, but heavier, and filled with their crimes                              

But don't worry, this is what they wanted, and this is what they deserve
they left you there to rot and didn't care about your serve
So why does it hurt so bad, watching them all fall apart?
Like dominoes, stacked together, that were not ready to part              
                                              ­                                      

I don't understand this awful feeling, deep in my chest
Why am i hurting, when I wanted this?

And i know now, but by now it's too late
I'M the one, that fed them the bait
They were all so happy, and everything was so fine
but i couldn't stand to see all of them shine                            
                               ­                             
So instead I let the devil fill me with hate
and thus let my jealousy put my heart through the stake.