It’ll always be you,
The same way
It’ll always be me.

My thoughts scramble
And dig and dig
Until they reach
My skull where they bump
The shovel and Grit
Their teeth.

I come in
Into the office
And let the
Lady know
I’m here for
And interview,
With broken
English she
Tells me to
Wait in the
Waiting room
Since I’m early,
So I sit in
the middle
Of a room
Of People
I’ve never
met,
Some of them
Probably
More anxious
As I've been
Before,
There’s a
Mural of
A bull
With horns
Like the devil
On the wall,
And I sit
And wait,
Until my
Nervous
System
kicks in,
And my
Legs
Start to
Twitch,
What an
Eternal
Wait.

It’s 95 degrees
At 4:00 pm,
Sweat drips
Through the
Valleys that time
Has been leaving
On my face,
There’s salt stains
Down to my stomach,
But I can’t seem to
Find anything to
Complain about,
I can talk with
A frown on my face
That shows the tan
On my forehead
About how lonely
And dark
The nights can get,
And maybe sweets
Aren’t tasting as sweet,
Or how bacon is overrated,
Or how annoying it is
To get a new drivers license,
But life has brought
So much color around me,
the cicadas are singing
Along with the sparrows
And the blue jays,
The tree that sits idle
Outside my apartment door
Has been holding so much
Green upon its branches,
A great place to cool off
From the buttery
scorching sun.

I realize two things
As I’m walking down
Memorial city mall,
I remember every
Corner store,
Every turn and
Candy store,
I remember my
Legs trembling
Through multitude
Of people walking
Down the enormous
Open hall, nervous,
Holding tight onto
The hands of
A lost love,
As my insides
Twisted and turned,
My mind clutters
Like the house
Of a hoarder who’s
Passion is collecting
Misfortune and bad
Decisions,
Also, there’s no Barnes
And noble in here,
How unfortunate.

The window blinds
Open for the
First time since
I’ve been living here,
A potted plant
Shadows the
Streets during
The night
And during
The day it
Hugs the walls
Tight.

A figure walks down
The rooms,
Gliding as if
She was ice skating
Across the carpeted
Floors.

I’m sitting across,
Smoking,
Watching
The shadows swim
Through the
Washed down
Windows,

Tones of a home
Can be seen,
I wonder what
Goes on inside.

The sun crawls over
my dusty window,
And through the *****
beige curtains

Rays of sunshine
bring color to my room,
Though I appreciate
the sentiment

I grab tightly unto
the ropes of light,
I tight myself a noose,
and slowly set it
Down for later,

I’ll move a chair,
To my favorite
Part of the living Room,
I’ll put on my best clothes,

Smoke a last cigarette,
And breath a little fresh air,
I hop unto the chair,
I let my hair down,
I put the noose around my neck
I can feel it itch and burn,
I give my heart another chance
To let go,

An overwhelming feeling
Comes over me,
Like my chest is trying to explode,
I lament as palpitations
Try to cave in my rib cage,
As if day turns into night
And there’s nothing I can
Do to stop it.

But god, oh god.

I want to stay awake.

Feel the breeze that knocks on my door,
And the thought
of being able to love again,
Grants me a little bit of hope,
I can’t keep living like this,
I’ve cried distilled waters
So many that
Lately I tip toe
Around containers
That catch the excess
My skin can’t retain.

I wish to surrender to the wind,
I Open the door to let it in,
As it passes through me,
The noose around my neck starts to fade,
And I’m free,
For maybe another Day.

A spider weaves
A home on
The beige brick
Wall that divides
The parking lot
From the street,
I walked through
It by accident,
I feel it on my arms
Down to my legs,
An intricate webbing
Made to trap its prey,
I take it off of me
In panic, as the cicadas
Dance their tune away
In the withering heat
Of June.

When I used to think
About my dad,
Not much came up,
But I remember
Getting excited,
Every time my mom
Picked up the phone
And it was my him,
On the other line,
Asking when he
Can pick me up,
Scheming for
A good time

It felt almost like
A school trip,
On those yellow
Trucks without
Ac but a stereo
System that would
Shake the windows
Of the new houses
I get to see.

Always an adventure,
Always something new
To experience,
Always good.

It’s as if the bad
Was concealed
Behind the curtain
That just closed up
The actors of a
Very corny drama,

It was hard to come
To him in times of need,
Always working,
Always busy,
Always in love,
Always living a life,

But lately,
He has been helping
Me kick stones out
Of my path.

“Necesitas algo”

“Estás bien mi niño””

“Si tú eres mi hijo,
Esto es lo que va pasar”

If you are my son,
He says.

I fall down from exhaustion,
And accept his apology.

Me compre una
Cafetera de estufa,
Prendo y caliento,
Y me siento a
Esperar la chilllaera,
El olor corrumpe
Las cortinas y las
Toallas, abre neveras,
Y limpia migajas de
Pan en la mesa,
Pesado en las arrugas
Nuevas que crean
Valles en mi frente,
Mientras el color de tus ojos
Da vueltas en mi mente,
Invirtiendo en las noches
Donde te tuve en mis brazos,
Atadados entre sabanas,
Y tu , Arbol de ceiba que anclo
Sus raices en mis venas,
Las dejare correr y drenar
Hasta la ultima gota de sangre,
El vapor sube, yo subo con el,
Y me siento en la humedad
De las nubes, peleando con la
Culpa y rayos de sol.

The clouds look
Just right today

In between yellow
Green branches

And parking lot
Light posts

The people coming
Out of the garden center

Hop on one leg
And feel the breeze

Upon their hair while
Gently caressing their face

I look at the sky again,
From the windows

Of my small hatchback
With my feet out,

The sun upon my skin,
And a lit cigarette

On my left hand, while
I write this on my right

And I think and think
And think and think,

While reading “time is
A mother” by vuong

I don’t have much time,
I have to clock in again.

Once again,
I dance alone
In those lost
Gardens you
And me used
To take care of,
Now it’s
Overgrown,
Hidden behind
A vine wall
That hides the
undisturbed
Beauty
and purity
And sweet
scents,
At night
the flowers
Light up,
the stars
Walk among
me to show
Me the way,
I’ve been
Walking
So long
Through  
Rose bushes,
The thorns have
Embedded
Themselves
Into my skin
Up to my hips,
I hope the
Day comes
They become
Roots, my arms
Branches of a
Shrub I won’t
Be able to name
Anymore,
While I wait
For rain,
For now I’ll
Just walk,
And walk
And walk
And walk,
While my blood
Feed the ones
That have lost
Their battle
Against time.

As I drive besides
The bayou,
Under cold
Plagued trees,
Thoughts of swinging hammocks
In the midst of humid heat
Pushes through
every other thought,
Francisco swings on the
Second hammock
That sits a little deeper
Into the the skeleton
Of a concrete house
That begs to be built,
Abandoned but not,
He’s probably high
Off his mind,
Classes are passing by,
The moment was now,
And what a way to
Spend it.

I woke up today,
And I’ve learned
That I love like the wind
Does, or like a slowly
Sparked camp fire
That stays lit long enough
For the night not to feel
So cold.

I would throw logs
To spark the fire,
Let it burn through
Ashes and smoke,
I’ll sing ballads
And watch the
Flames slow
Dance to the tune
The breeze whistles
Through the trees
And the tall grass

Let’s sit near,
Enjoy the warm,
Be with me,
Enjoy the shadows
Strolling through,
Hopping and jumping
Through hoops,
Let me lean over
Close to you.

Let my arms
Feather fall
Around your waist,
Put your hand
Closer to the flame,
Let the burn
Mark your skin,
And let it bubble
Into passion
As the stars
Observe and judge,
Asking if this is
Truly love
In the end.

For as long as I can remember
I’ve been looking for love,

With a heart full of stitches
And duct tape to hold it together,

Trust me, I’ve been looking everywhere,
Above the ***** dishes and below

Undone laundry, behind the litter box,
And besides the stack of books

That keeps growing every first
Paycheck of the month

Since the second one falls
Victim to responsibilities,

I’ve tried the mirror, I trace
The moles around my face,

And ******* own mouth
As I fog the reflection

And think on who I was
Before time was time,

While I walk back to my bed,
And the pillows that already

Need changing, I lay, like
I’ve laid before and prepare

To go to sleep below the sky
And above the ground.

Sometimes life feels  
like a train station,  
some depart wearing  
suits and ties,  
with heavy leather  
bags dangling  
from their hips  
as if to show the  
world how strong  
their legs are.

Others arrive
with their heart  
bleeding from  
their sleeves,  
with PTSD  
and memories of  
ruins of war  
that change their  
perspective as  
they drag their feet  
on shiny marble  
tiles that got  
polished the  
night before,  
so they glide  
through their way  
home.

I’ve departed before,
I’ve felt the  
cocoon inside  
my stomach  
hatch into butterflies,  
as the tip  
of my fingers felt  
the inside  
of a train that no  
longer will  
arrive to this station.

Since I’ve
been back,  
the sky  
hasn’t been  
the same shade  
of blue,  
or the stars haven’t  
flickered the  
same Morse code,  
but “I’ve won”  
I say to myself,  
not by chasing the train,
but by letting it pass,
by finding calm
in the station,
and in the realization
that my journey
is where I stand amongst  
the multitude of people,  
a sea of  
distinguishable universes,  
each with their destination,  
succumbed by life and its mysteries.

I’m glad,
for them, for all of us.

I’m laying
Down on
A mount
Of Asian
Jasmines,
Then suddenly,
I was floating
in space,
But somehow,
In some way,
My lungs inflated,
And I exhaled
What I had
Left of life
Into the stars,
The cosmos
Held me
In their arms,
An embrace
Very needed
Yesterday’s ago,
I sink deep
Into the feeling
Of being loved,
And I cry
My soul
Out back
Into the living,
My bones
Root into
Empty space,
A never ending
Search for soil,
So lost,
In search,
Always in search,
this just
Doesn’t seem
Like a place
To rest.

Oh father,
Sit in your throne
Of lies and rejoice,
Life has sat me down
In the dark
With a gun to my
Head, loaded with
The truth.

I want you
To hold still
Like a statue
In a museum,

Everyone will
Stop to look
at your silhouette
While basking
In your shadow,

They’ll drop
Flowers and wine
At your feet
As offerings,

And your beauty
Will reach the rims
Of the ears
Of emperors
Across the oceans

And the seas
And the rivers,
All bodies of
Water separate
In your presence,

But here you are,
Anxiously walking
From side to side,
Searching for what
Shouldn’t be searched for,

My love,
Please sit still,
Let me adore
The ground
That you stand on,

With flower petals
From a dying rose
That I’ve been holding
For so long,

I’ll reach deep within
My chest, and with
Bloodied hands
I’ll place my heart
At your feet.

It’s 1 am,
My friend in the
Front seat rolls
Another blunt
As the light
Post that are
Starting to
get warm
Cast a shadow
Of the old
Jeep wrangler
That we ride in
Going nowhere,
We take a right,
And then a left,
I sit in the back,
With a light mentol
American spirit
Perching upon
My lips,
Im lost in a train
Of thought,
You can almost
See the steam
Oozing from
My head.

As I stand there in the isle
besides the bottles of detergent

That I entered knowingly
that you were there

As if a spotlight runs behind
your every step shining light

That evaporates the
humidity and discomfort,

I still have to pretend to be
Someone to be able to

Strike up a conversation,
It flows and shapes

Around my tongue,
That dances a tune

I wish for you to hold
Very dear,

And then I slide away
On the concrete floor

Not as dark as it used to be,
As I think to myself,

If not now,
Then when?

As I dwell in the
Depths of a high,
Valleys of passion
And the wishes
Of being someone
take over,
The ceiling of
My bedroom
Open up
As if it was
A baseball stadium
On a sunny day,
Just so I can have
A smoke in the comfort
Of my own bed,
I lay in the ashes
Cursed with
the past,
The present,
the future.

“It’s in the water”
They say,
“It’s in the cigarettes”
The yell,
“It’s in the food”
They proclaim.

Only if they knew,
That the earth
Sings a tune
That tells my feet
To move.
And that it’s
Truly in the everlasting
Silence that accompanies it.

The sound of your voice
Enters through my veins,

It runs havoc as I listen to
You speak how your day went,

Chained by the tremble
In between words

and the way your lips
Would taste like honey,

I try to concentrate but my
Eyes set me loose

As I trace the moles around
Your body,

Constellation of fallen stars
Adorn you from head to toe,

I connect them with stellar
Imagination and wonder,

Which one would I plant
A kiss on first,

Then second,
Then third,

I would spend many days,
And maybe months,

Traveling the wild waters
Of your curves,

On a sail boat,
I hope for a tragedy,

For the wind to get too
Rowdy and tip me over,

So I can swim on the corners
Of your hips,

And drown on the shores
Down your legs

Choose me,
Use me,
Let me
Take
Your
Troubles
Away.

I'm waiting,
For the sky
To open up
And drop
You at my feet.

Dressed up
In high
Waisted pants
And a bouquet
Of flowers
I hope you
Would like,

When I see
You, tumbling
And shaking
Your fall,

It'll sound like
Whistles of
A happy man
Going on
His day,

It'll show
In the way I
Tap my feet
And fiddle my
Fingers,

My eyes will
Drop your gaze
And my hands will
Tremble along
The tune,

And I'll write
Your name
Upon pages
Of a watered
Down book,

Filled with sentences
And stanzas
That have lost
Their muse,

Sentences filled
With crazy and
Passion, illusions
Of cursed letters,

That attached
Themselves
Upon my skin
Making me a
Slave of
my words.

Aveces me siento
A pensarte,
Y me da con mirar
Las cosas que as
Escrito,
Angustiado
Por la Noche,
Y las ganas
De no poder
Dormir me arropan
Otra vez,
Pero tus palabras
Me traen salvacion
En una Noche
Sin Estrellas,
Cerca del agua,
Tan lejos
Pero tan cerca
De ti mi amor,
Tal vez
As dejado
Un vacio
En este
Vagabundo
Sin futuro
Que tanto amastes,
Y que pena
Que me a tomado
Tanto tiempo
Con la nevera
Vacia para darme
Cuenta que tus
Besos eran la razon
Por la que vivia,
Y ahora muero
De hambre.

Do you
look up
From your
work as much
As I do
when I
just need
To get another
look at you,
It’s a straight
rush of dopamine
To be able to
Place my eyes
Upon your
Curves that
Like hibiscus
Flowers
Let butterflies
Rest upon
The petals that
Droop down
After a day
Of rain.

Hoy desperté,
otra vez,
tras un día más sin trabajo,
desaparecido entre sábanas.

Chocan contra mi ventana
las 5:00 am,
y me amanezco soñando
con soñar un poquito más.

Persigo migajas de pan,
como hormiga en el desierto,
me desvelo de hambre
y busco hasta la más diminuta gota
de agua en medio de sombras.

Sombras de lagunas
que algún día vieron vida
en el eco de sus ojos.

Necesito un diluvio, Dios.
Manda mares,
ahógame en mí mismo
y déjame soñar con algo más.

Siento que merezco más.

It felt like my time was coming,
I’m not afraid of what’s to come,

I’ll keep writing odes to love,
And life in sorrow,

I’m fading inward, starting from my fingertips,
So the moon has invited herself

To stay a little longer,
She weeps rain as tomorrow

Arrives with a picnic basket,
Heavy with what once was,

The morning sun sits in a corner,
Just ready to shine once more,

And what a beautiful morning
I have bought with breaths and sighs,

60 degrees haven’t felt this good,
It surfs upon the wind,

Carrying a boombox that
Plays melancholy,

It reaches my ears to remind
Me of the pain,

But thank god for beautiful
Mornings, and the clicking of time.

And pocket change.

Oh my love,
I’ve buried
My worries
In the sand
Of your shores,
Even if the
Raging waters
Dig deep
To find them
And give them
The same
Warmth
That I miss
When laying
Cuddled up
In the coconut palms
Of your hands,
I could feel
The fire,

Oh, beautiful deity
Of a seasons past
Where all year
Was spring,
I’ve grown so
Scared of love,
So malnourished,
You could almost
See the mountain
Range on my chest,
And I’ve only grown
Hungry for the look
In your eyes and
The sound of your
Voice when speaking
My name.

On a day
Like today
The stars
Aligned in a
Strange way,
They still shine
Bright against
The unreachable
Ceiling and
The seas
Hug their
Reflection tight
Against her
Skin, it accentuates
Her curves
That dances
Off the coast
Of the Caribbean
Islands or maybe
It washes away
The shores of
A clear beach
In Greece,
As the world
Still rotates
Around the pale
Yellow sun,
I lay neck
Deep
In a puddle
Of water,
I feel the
Rotation
Of the earth,
Or maybe
It’s vertigo.

I’ve been
caught
in the rain,
near a field
of Indian
blankets
that runs by
a river caused
by the
precipitation,
the moon
drowns
underneath
the currents,
I can hear
her bubbled
screams as
the water
sweeps
the ground
with
an anger
of a
thousand
and the
attitude of
a tired mother
that just
got back
home to
see the
dishes
haven’t
been done,
and the
chicken
hasn’t
been
brought
down
from
the freezer,
so Tired
of the
baggy
eyes,
I’m
thinking
I should
jump,
and
help out
for once.

It's late
Into Halloween
Night,
I'm driving
Down bagby
Street looking
For a place to
Sit and think,
Uncomfortable
In my own skin
I try to zip
Up a tab
Of lsd,

Suddenly
I'm rolling down
The stairs
Down to
To the bayou,
I put my knees
Up to my chest
And wrap my
Arms around my
Legs as a quilt of
Ashes cover
My feet,
So tired but I
Can't sleep.

I see
The blue
Lights of the
Light post reflecting
Against ***** water,
The bayou rising,
Consequences of
A storm
Not present,
The fish splashing
And the people
Walking and running
And biking,
Life is in the
Unexpected,
But there's always
Something to expect
From a man with no
Destiny.

what a shame
There's no stars
In the sky tonight,
Or a pretty lady
With nice legs
To enjoy the
cold front with,
And I wish I could
Throw my skeleton
Into the water,
Watch it sink and
Squirm underneath
The pressure,

But instead I go
Up the multitude
Of stairs,
Observe the people
Dressed in costumes
Taking memories,
Just to drive
Back home
Under the shade
Of tall buildings
And start all
Over again.

I saw her working,
as soon as I came
into this diner.
She shines a light,
I know it well,
yellow like sunflowers,
like rays of sunshine.

A presence so apparent,
it has me walking down
the street with a smile,
while I stitch my heart
together again,
maybe for the last time.

Just wait for me
a little longer, please.
The leaves are just
starting to fall,
to decay.

There’s a cat
and a heron
Sitting
by a creek,
They know of
Each other
But not close
Enough to
Actually know
Each other,
The cat observes
The heron
With eyes
Of a killer,
He then walks
Away as the tall
Grass is
being swayed
By the wind,
Maybe home,
The people on
The street also
Walk home as
The lonely night
Comes over,
And all the wisps
Of light come out
From hiding,
I share a feeling
With the night,
As I sit and observe
In a new skin
I’ve started to
Get used to,
I should
Go home too.

What a long week,
A long month, a long year,
Followed by long hours,
And long seconds.

I’ve resorted to selling
All my distractions—
And hell, was I distracted.

Now I sit in diners,
Drinking coffee
After a long night.

My pockets are empty,
But my soul keeps growing.
He’s starting to receive
Hand-me-downs from the public,
A new kind of love.

And I’m slowly
Finding myself.

Oh, Icarus
How was
The fall?

Was it joyful?
As the sun
Burns scars

Into your spine,
I still see a smile
On your face,

You *******.

Y me encuentro,
sentado en bloques
de cemento,
en medio de docenas
de árboles de Navidad
encerrados en corrales
que construí con mis propias manos.

Te miro,
y pienso en cómo
la vida nos ha tratado
tan mal, tan fría.
Y también en cómo
serían las cosas
entre tú y yo,
si hubiéramos subido
al mismo autobús
al mismo tiempo.

Miro en tus ojos
y no encuentro nada,
así que buscaré respuestas
en el cielo,
en las sombras de tu cabello,
escondido entre telas.

Cuánto me he perdido en ti
tanto tiempo, tanto cariño,
tantas hojas de papel
con tu nombre en tinta
de bolígrafos que ya no escriben,
tantas miradas llenas de sentimiento.

Cuánto me perdí en ti,
vagabundo en busca de un hogar,
caos andante
entre biombos fugaces,
con la extraña sensación
de ser alguien,
para ti y para mí.

I lay in bed
Underneath the
Sheets in that
Spot where time
Seems to forward
Until grass starts
To grow through the
Mattress and vines
Cover the walls,
Civilizations
Fall through the
Cracks and the
Stars fade into
The dark,
Making this
Fleeting moment
A lot darker
And colder,
Hopefully i
Wake up tomorrow
To fresh air
And pretty flowers
With a nice scent
To adorn it,
Im glad i can still
Hope, God,
Im glad.

The adrenaline rush fades,
leaving me dangling,
empty handed,
clutching nothing but
bloodied words.

What will become of me?
I thought I was ready
but when will it be enough?
How many lessons,
how much pain
must I endure?

God, I don’t
**** with you anymore.
All you know
is tough love.

When will it
finally
be enough?

Lately I've felt
A new type
Of hunger,
The type that
Makes you wish
For something
Better.

I yell at the sky,
Full of desperation
And anger that boils
My blood and blisters
My skin,

In hopes of God
Chiming in and
Sitting down from
All his godly duties
To listen.

But the sky is empty,
Vacant of any life.
A strangely formed
Cloud walks by,

my bones weep
All left unsaid.