Lila - Hello Poetry

Lila Nov 8

Suddenly the words “I’m not hungry” left my mouth
Which was odd
Because I’m always hungry
An indescribable hunger
A painful hunger

I am hungry when I go to sleep
I am hungry when I wake up
A unimaginable hunger
A debilitating hunger

I never thought I’d be afraid of butter
Or chocolate
Or bread

I never thought I’d be starving to be thin

Lila Sep 6

Hidden scars, silent cries

What a cruel fate it is to have such a broken body
All tied together with a neat little bow.

No one will notice
No one will know.

No one will know the cuts and tears
No one will notice the needed repairs

No one will know the sobs and cries
No one will notice the twitch in her eyes

No one will know she’s not fine
No one will notice the shatter spine

Lila Sep 4

Who will fix me if he didn’t?

I thought a man would fix my problems
I thought he would make me happy
But here I am, with a man
Still depressed
Still anxious
Still hopeless
Still in pain
So what’s the point?

Lila Aug 31

Letters to God (day three)

God,
Give me hope. Hope for the future. Hope in myself. Hope that one day, being awake will feel better than being asleep. Hope that one day, there will be no pain. Hope that one day, I will see myself the way you see me. Give me hope.

Lila Jun 22

Sisters

I remember when I hated you,
Or at least I claimed I did
We’d yell and fight
You’d chase, I’d bite
But even then
you are my best friend

I remember when I was proud of you
Or at least I tried to be
You were always smarter
So I tried harder
All of that work
Just to be like you

I remember when you were cool
Or at least I thought so
You had a best friend
And a cool loft bed
But all through then
You’d let me play with you

Lila Jun 15

Letters to god (day two)

God,
Give me wisdom. I turned 18 today. I know not much changes..it’s just a number, but it feels new and scary. I didn’t think I’d make it this far God. I don’t really know what to do. What I should do. What I have to do. What I want to do. I don’t know. Give me wisdom.

Lila Jun 13

Letters To God (Day one)

God,
Give me strength. Not for some big adventure or adventurous thing, but god, give me strength to get up again tomorrow and live in this ratchet body. This ratchet body that Satan himself has cursed. what was once a beautiful peace of art is now rubble…trash. Give me strength to walk on coals that Satan must’ve placed, because no person who loves me could give me this much pain. Use this pain for good or fix me. Give my pain purpose. Give me purpose. Give me strength.