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DElizabeth Feb 2024
i willingly rip it out from my chest.
i look down at it still beating, ******, and warm in my grip.
i look up to you and see that you want it...
i reluctantly hold it out towards you.
you hold your hands out with a gentleness that is foreign to me.
i hesitantly place it into your cold hands.
i wait and watch for your reaction...
i desperately look into you for something, anything...
and beg you to kiss it better...
you look down at the pulsing *****, overflowing with love for you,
then look up suddenly, but i find no motives...
only tears streaming down your cheeks, the biggest smile, and the most loving light in your eyes . . .
DElizabeth Feb 2024
it melts in my pocket as i wave goodbye, hoping you don't notice the blood pooling in my cheeks.
8 missed opportunities.

my grandma boiled some sage tea for me, "to help calm your skin," she'd say if she was still around...

parkour on rocks in indigo fields, heliotrope, and hornets.
vanilla milkshakes and sweet potato fries, if my wallet will allow me to love you this way.

my eyes squint and bones catch the sunlight, i spread out my arms like an iris's petals when you run to me...

i slipped on wet grass over the stream and scored my knee in the shape of a cross.
she plucked some lavender from the damp ground and rubbed it with an absence of gentleness onto my open wound.

there was still dirt on it.

we climbed to the rooftop and watched the hazy summer colors plummet into the endless horizon.
she turned to me with her palms facing the stars and extended a tiny glass bottle.
"sandalwood!" revere filled her voice,
"i prefer lily, but thank you, i love it."

.
DElizabeth Feb 2024
no matter how pure,
how nourishing, or how flourishing...

the itch drives me mad as i wait for it to heal...
impatient, i rub it just enough to satisfy it.

i wake up with dried blood crusted over my ankle,
where the scab used to reside...

a wound re-opened is a wound likely to stain, rip, and ruin every innocent thing in its path... i leave you with one word or less.

i stammer into the bathroom, and gather the tools needed.

THE ACHE! THE ACHE!...

i prepare for the procedure and breathe heavily...
with shaky hands i attempt to craft my own suture:
_  _  _

THEY'LL SEE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE!...

no assistant at my side, always the lone surgeon.
it bleeds...it bleeds...it bleeds...

a tourniquet, a needle, a thread.
just enough so abandonment doesn't show up at my door.

THE NOISE...THE NOISE...

just enough to heal in time for them to love me...
just enough to forget that seemingly perpetual past...

THEY'LL LEAVE...THEY'LL LEAVE...

THEY ALWAYS DO! THEY ALWAYS DO!...

DON'T SHOW! DON'T TELL! JUST FEEL!


deafening silence, whispered cries, and visible sighs.
NO MORE! NO MORE! NO MORE! . . .

i open my eyes as the sweat falls from my brow...
the blood is no more and my heart is full.

the silence has come and the light floods the bathroom floor...
my hands stop trembling and my heart beats slow.

i stand up and stay there for a moment.
i turn around and walk out...

out and to you.
out and to my love...

for now,
or for forever . . .
DElizabeth Feb 2024
the way he thinks like a movie
and talks like a scene

the world, shades of gray
now a symphony of green

i hear him when he sighs
and when he says, "i'm fine!"

when everything is tough ,
some words are never enough

stop trying to be so cool,
just try to be so sweet

i know we are together,
but my heart's not like a feather

i need you next to me
even when we're six feet deep

stop trying to be so cool,
just try to be so sweet

the way he moves like diction
and walks like a work of fiction

our world, no longer in distress
or a need to "dress to impress!"

i hear him when he's quiet
and when his mind feels like a riot

though everything is easy
i can't always be this cheesy

stop trying to be so cool,
just try to be so sweet

i know we are together,
but my heart's not like a feather

i need you next to me
even when we're six feet deep

stop trying to be so cool,
just try to be so sweet
DElizabeth Feb 2024
AMY
her stature is proud and big, though she’s small and still growing. her hair tied into something behind her, tightly. its caramel wisps frill outward and down on either side of her face. her cheeks are kissed by the sun, bright like sunlight reflected off of snow but as red, full, and round as grape tomatoes. youthful eyes are full of chocolate-grayish wonder with an element of surprise. her popsicle-stained lips are pulled back into a smile made not prompted by a “say cheese”, but genuine instead. a long, boyish, and tan arm hangs awkwardly to her side while the other one is wrapped around his torso. though her shirt is bursting with bold crimson, black, and white horizontal stripes, it never takes away from the life inside her eyes, taken too soon, not always on the mind, but etched in forever.
DElizabeth Jan 2024
and for the first time,
i smiled while
remembering us.
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