somber slow-motion days pass me by in a slumberesque daze

cars zip & zoom past street lamps carving wispy swirls of the early autumn fog across the pavement

city lights illuminate the misty atmosphere in muted hues of empty-mall-parking-lot-orange & stadium-blue

reminiscing the warm & vivid summer days when it was never raining, where we were never losing, always and only gaining.

i'm jealous of
the wind
because it doesn't know
how lucky it is
that it gets to run through your hair
the way my fingers used to.

i'm jealous of
the moon
because it doesn't know
how lucky it is
that it gets to watch as you
softly slip into shallow slumbers
the way i used to as i laid in your arms.

i'm jealous of
the stars
because they don't know
how lucky they are
that they get to be gazed at by you
and your bright hazel eyes full of awe
the way i used to be by you
every time you walked towards me.

i'm jealous of
the sun
because it doesn't know
how lucky it is
to get to kiss your summer skin
beneath it's warmth
the way i used to when i was still yours & you mine.

i'm jealous of
every bottle of wine
that reaches your lips
because they don't know
how lucky they are
that they get to be pressed gently against
yours that make that sincere smile
and words sweeter than honey,
the way mine used to
over & over & over
because we could never have just one.

i'm jealous of
the grass
because it doesn't know
how lucky it is
to get to graze you softly
as you walk by
the way i used to when we barely knew
each other...
before we knew we were meant to . . .

every time i look at that striped sweater i think of us.
standing in the middle of that crowd in the pale blue lights,
sore throats & your thumbs in my belt loops.

we were going to rise above the rest,
rise above the rest who tried & tried but landed
sooner than they hoped
& fly with the eagles...

i had all my cutest outfits
picked out, hung up, lined up
waiting for you

but now i wear them alone
as i sit at our favorite coffee shop
where we first talked.

i should be there with you,
laughing at all the funny faces
your niece makes when she eats pizza

i should be there with your hand
intertwined with mine under the table,
as we sing happy birthday to your mom
as she blows out her wishes.

you should be here in the car with me
as we sing tennessee whiskey off-key
with the windows rolled all the way down,
taking in the last of the summer air

the wind doesn't know how lucky it is
that it gets to run wild through your soft brown hair
the way my fingers used to.

you'll always feel like coming home

i would swear black is white if it meant one more day next to you

you'll always be my favorite

even if it makes me ache

you'll always be my "just one more minute"

i would swear the earth is flat if it meant one more day being yours

you'll always be my shooting star wish

you'll always be my july & august

you'll always be my brighter days.

we had what you only see in the cinema

we had a film kind of love

we had the depth of a play & the soul of a musical

we had the heart of an adventure & spirit of a christmas movie

we had the laughs of a comedy & aches of a drama

we had the possibility of a mystery & excitement of an action

we had the magic of a romance & the wonder of a memoir

we had what you can only seen on the silver screen

we had what you can only read in the scripts

we had what can only be found between well-loved pages, flipped through dozens of times

we were the silent films & black and whites

we were the technicolor revolution

and even though i wish we could have been a happily ever after instead of a coming-of-age, i'll always rewatch it from beginning to end

i always thought this kind of feeling was only in the cinema, but i know now that is is real . . .