there's a house where the basement you almost drove us into used to be. the night you'd skip songs that were almost over. if i were one of them, would you let me play through the end?

night shadowy shades of grayish green, flashes of red across your face, a fist always close to your chin. always beautiful even when you shouldn't be.

the sound of you moving is enough to get me going. fabric on fabric like distant music only i can hear.

suddenly your face is everywhere and nowhere. in cars that look like yours but aren't. strangers now familiar features, head-turners and double-takers. it's always been you, even when it wasn't. even when i didn't know.

i was looking at those photos, too
only i was me instead of you.

sitting at the dinner table,
leg on the chair the way mom doesn't like.

grayness of the day fueling my need
to bend towards the sun & take you with me.

but you're just there, in faded photos
of yellow hallways & broken jars of horseradish, scattered into bits across an icy floor.

you're right where i left you
& you're always right here.

you kissed the back of my neck
i grazed the divets in your palm--
doughy with cold sweat in a white t-shirt

you asked me to tell you
what i want
using only one word--

you...us.

thick scent of incandescent light
escaped me to intoxicate you again--
it was a bad dream because it wasn't real

sliver of a silver moon
seeps itself through a crack

heavy curtains falling like
stars & long hair

over my bare shoulders

light of the night
flooding the bedroom

the color of nocturn.

thick scent of blood & rain
colliding earth & wilting lilies

11:59 aglow
etched into retinas
high in its corner
it is my sun
& my daughter

cooing owl turns drag racing
midnight shotguns

turning the other cheek
rolling over like an old trick

billy idol sings lullabies
while tears pool in my ears

trying to remember what day
it will be

what once clothed me in
milky warmth & softness
tosses me

my bed rocks
as if i were at sea

everything is blue

i miss when vertigo was in my lap
lacing its fingers into mine
as i ran a cold hand through its dark hair
and i would never mind

i could shut my eyes
i could leave them open

the visions whirl vivid still

i should be with you
giggling over red wine
as sweet as they come
judging restaurant interiors
warm & lip-bitten

not solus on that pier
watching skaters across
the motionless lake
endlessly blank
frozen & wind-bitten.