In my dreams she greets my submissive guise
Her eyes sparkle like an ocean flower
And I’d drown to the depths if it meant she’d devour me
Feverishly, until the very end
Looking at the way you tease with your tongue
You’d send Mr Whippy around the bend
Performing acrobatic acts around your little finger
Helter-Skelter from your thighs right down to your feet
My lack of self-worth to someone like you is a real treat
But that’s no one’s fault but mine
..
She smiles when I’m going out of my mind
Like she’s got something sweet stuck in her teeth
A flying saucer or some strawberry lace
Floating from star to star in outer space
But I can’t explain why
Her ***** accent somehow really gets me in the mood
Every word she speaks so bitter and sour
But I couldn’t care less
It’s happy hour and I’m ready to fire at rapid speed
If I’m given half a chance, of course

Sometimes I worry about being too clever for my own good
Even in my default mode of plain stupid
Acting useless when in fact I’m 100% faultless
Hellbent on achieving the ultimate diversion
In the aim to throw all stalking eyes off the scent
Of who I truly am, how I truly feel
But that doesn’t seem to matter now I’ve decided that we’re so different
..
Sometimes I worry about being too picky for my own good
I must be if mothers always demanding answers
Please don’t look so disenchanted, I promise
It’s nothing personal I’m just incredibly flawed
In the face of daily pressure to be adored
I guess, I like to revel in my own sweet loneliness
But that shouldn’t matter now ‘cause it’s clear that we’re so different
..
Don’t you think, yet another night in my company has turned sour?
The waiter was rude and if you look up, the filthy skies don’t half reflect the mood
Darkening at a rate much quicker than seconds in a sordid hour
I know it’s a longshot, but you must admit
I’ve got narcissistic tendencies?
The ones you can’t seem to articulate when put on the spot
But funnily enough
You’re convinced you can wrap your mind around all my issues
And one day be that person who can fix me
How predictably wonderful of you
..
There you go again
With nothing left to lose
Apart from what’s left of your declining dignity
Begging me to stay,
"please stay, stay, stay"
Even though I shouldn’t
When you look me up and down that way
I find your desperation too enticing to refuse
..
Drinking to forget what a coward I am
Only to find the same problem rears its ugly head when I wake
Don’t you know after such a ******,
It’s hard to control all the rattle and shakes?
When I have images of you and her circulating around my mind
Immorality and ***,
Flashing red like warning sign special affects
Causing mass panic in my hollow think tank
But still hoping in there will be some answers to find
Only to fall miserably short of the mark
..
When you eventually find out
I need you to know,
I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve done and said
I’m sorry
But I just couldn’t find a way to tell you
That I’ve been falling for somebody else instead

I go out night after night
With a front that suggests everything’s alright
But in reality
I’m parading around the shadows of my shame
Rambling about football tactics and the rise in taxes
To strangers who don’t even know my name
Dying in the face of an altercation turned so bleak
Only to fall back into your arms
‘Cause you’re the only love I’ve never ****** up
Look how I’ve grown so fragile, how I’ve become so weak
Tonight, tonight, tonight

I know how you feel
I don’t need to hear the words of a protest song
You make it perfectly clear by the faces that you make
And the tears you tried your best to hide
But here I am, lost and confused
Suffocating in the mess of another happy mistake gone wrong
Still professing a youthful innocence
Clouded by the significance of my shortcomings
Don’t hide your eyes from mine
I’m not the boy you wanted to raise, I know
Tonight, tonight, tonight

You look burnt out, frail and so forlorn
I guess I finally did it this time
Be honest
You haven’t stopped smoking since the day I was born
Your mental health has gone downhill and now I think about it
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat
Racking your brains for another excuse to put my mind at ease
But selfishly I’ve always known
The way you are is solely down to me

I’m opening up to you,
For your benefit not mine
It’s so you can understand the way that I’m feeling
And how maybe
You can tell me one day it’ll all turn out just fine?”
‘Cause you’re the only person that matters
Without you I have no home
I’m just skin and bones,
Lacking substance without your guidance
My mind goes walkabout too when I feel alone
So I just lay down
Making sure I’m not a hinderance to anyone else
I think that’s my own little gift to the world
You can have that one for free

It looks from afar,
Or across this empty room to be exact
That you’re drowning in a pool of sorrow
Your desperation for subversion has worn thin
Since your lust for life got ****** straight into a black hole
Watching on as you have a crafty indoor smoke
You’ve got your feet up on the table
Basking in the daggers you’re receiving from the waitress
Make-up dripping down your face and your confused eyes buried in the floor
You couldn’t care less, in fact
It doesn’t look like you really care about anything anymore
Is it safe to say you’ve given up?

I can see you scrolling through your phone
Are you thinking about calling me? Or more likely
Submerging yourself in someone else’s make-believe news feed
Love, happiness, and greed
It’s all ******* but you can’t help soaking it up
If it helps fuel the validity to the previous night’s depravity
But I can’t fail to recognise
You’re so docile and I imagine, fragile to the touch
Maybe it’s ‘cause the butterflies that once fluttered have since died
And I’ll admit
Your deceit was almost impressive
So blissfully unaware of my presence
You didn’t once take your eyes off him
But I can still see myself, one day, going back for a girl like you
Slap bang in the middle of a midlife crises perhaps
Let’s call it 2042

Unfortunately
I miss the way you were with me
But I can’t think of a single thing I like about you now
You’ve made a fool of me one too many times
Combined with your incessant screaming
And your ****** up lies
That you blamed on my miscommunication
In a state of wild desperation
‘cause I caught you out
When I thought, stupidly
That you were mine

You’re so self-centred
A modern-day cliché
It doesn’t make you important
Posing selfies every hour of the day
Your expression is a reflection of the emptiness that’s trapped inside
Click delete, then repeat
Click delete, then repeat
I know it’s just a perpetuation for your desperation
Crying out for someone to love you
But you’ll be alright
The pretty ones always are

Holding hands is a beautiful thing
When you’re not sneaking off on a treachery binge
You’ve been two timed, and I’ve been ****** over
Does it make it okay that we did it to each other?
Call it quits? press pause and rewind a little bit?
Just so we can make the same mistakes all over again

Why am I so comfortable,
Lying on the floor next to you in total silence?
I’ve never had this experience with anyone before
Looking into your eyes, I can feel your breath on my lips
I’ve tasted deceit before but nothing as sweet as this
Just promise me when you break my heart, this time,
You’ll,
Break,
It,
Slow.

I dodge your calls with the best intentions
Yet your acrobatic antenna always picks up my reception
Performing summersaults around my diversion tactics
Always results in me crawling back to your bed

Don’t get me wrong though
This isn’t love that has me gravitating to you
For a young dog you’ve got old tricks
Taking me for a half-wit, dip ****
Sorry to burst your bubble
I’m just a sucker for relentless punishment
Your clichéd complexity fuelled by a relentless toxicity
Is the perfect combination for someone who’s got nothing going on in their life,
Like me

We’re both young
With undoubted class and style
Weighed down by naivety
Unfilled ambitions and alluring debauchery
Even if the end results in us being stung
You’ll always be my cure for incessant boredom
And I’ll be yours
But I’m okay with that…
How,
About,
You?!

The grass is always greener
That’s why I tore you apart
Copy and pasted the things I liked
Discarded the rest
Then put them into someone better
Until I realised my lack of hindsight
Accentuated the one glaring downside
The grass is never greener is it?!
I’ll learn for next time, I swear

As soon as my head hits the pillow, I burst into tears
Recalling the moment you walked away from me the first time
And brought to life my greatest fears
I was scared you were going to do the same again
That’s why I got in first, without taking the time to think
And now I have to live by another stupid mistake

Can you please give me one more chance,
To right the wrongs I’ve been living for so long?
I can change, I can change, I can change
I’m done telling all those lies
The ones that put your mind at ease but never fully satisfied
Please say something? like you believe me?
Please say something? like you still love me?
And then, maybe, we can go from there?

I’ll admit
I should’ve taken mum’s advice
She said you were wife material but that was immaterial
To someone who likes to Hara-kiri just for the fun of it
Watching on as you permeate the emphasis
Of how I cut you in two and crumbled to bits
How ironic