How can I or my body crave
you or your attention so very grave
When I have not even said more
than the simplest greetings while your

skin has not even met mine in ways
I would imagine. It is not you
who is my most desire, it is only
the image my mind prepares

But if it truly were you in person
that would travel further than
my mind could be, far beyond all

I ever could imagine, my only fear
is that the distance between us is even
greater than the distance I could run.

I can imagine how my dad must've felt
everytime I asked a question during
one of those films we watched together,
as a family. I was too young to concentrate.
In fact I still can't concentrate on movies.
I'm writing this while watching one.
Even when I don't concentrate, I have
noticed the important things. I'd prove
to you that I am different, but I can't.
I guess that makes me just another living soul
Determined by his actions, past and present.
If not his actions it's his looks or hobbies that are judged
Still this universe is closer to utopia any universe will ever be.

Isn't it so that love was in it's prime
25 years ago. When you met someone
it was different, better, more special.
I can't stop thinking about when I play
a game, I feel the need to have done
every single thing, to have seen every
single ending. Life is nothing like that,
no redo's, sidepaths or bossfights.
Well, maybe some bossfights.

Impressive, how timing can ruin all.
Such a short moment in time, enough
to make everything dear to you fall.
Without control I buy, eat, yell and

hurt, most of all, hurt, people I do
not wish to hurt. I am not myself
It is not my fault, I just can't explain
Believe me when I say: 'I'm sorry.'.

The pursuit of ignorance, bliss
and happiness. Perfection found
in a smile or in a tear, that is,
only to be seen, without a sound.

The view is all it takes, whatever
it takes to get that view, that
specific feeling, carefree thoughts,
an empty head. I guess I'll never

be not awake at night in bed,
with a mind that's everything but flat,
pained a little more with every tread,
and deeply vague, tied with knots.

As long as you keep craving desperately
your life will never make you run breathlessly

Out there, you are somewhere
and some day I will meet you.
When that moment will be there
the garden that is my life will
grow full of pretty flowers and
the glass that is my life will
start being filled with liquids
of emotions.

For now I'm just an empty room where
once there stood a chair and once there
was a cat. I've tried filling up that room
so many times, carelessly. Emptying it
afterwards with former regrets that are
still fading away. I've learned a lot, regretting.

I am sure to meet you, maybe soon.
But I regret to inform you that untill
then I must try to fill up that room, for maybe
I will meet you without knowing.

I am an empty bed,
come lie with me
and fulfill my destiny.

What if I had never looked at you
in that particular way, would
you not have stared back, hoping
that my eyes would stay, maybe

What if I had never told you with
what my head was filled, would
you have been disinterested or just
slightly less thrilled, maybe

What if I had never mentioned that
I liked that band you like so much,
would you then not have lit my heart
up with your gentle touch, maybe

What if, what if, what if, maybe
sometimes it's not up to us to decide.

It is not right
wait longer.

A small mouse is known for scaring
the elephant she has not even met.
Capturing a mouse seems so easy,
it seems easier than capturing an elephant

That's where you're wrong. The mass
wants to play guitar, or something bass.
Playing a blues harp is not hard enough.
It's not impressive, but oh so rich of flow

I've tried it, playing, capturing, caring
without dissapointing. Times are tough
when you cannot pay someone elses debt
Writing about that mouse can be cheesy.

Besides all that, that all is irrelevant.
If I never capture her, I want her to know
...

When the late snow in may has yet to melt.
Underneath earth's skin, flowers, ready to grow
try to push their way to the top. We all know
and we will never forget what that really felt

like, trying to grow, being pressed down.
Quite some chances I'll be doing that soon.
With only one thing blocking my road,
easily dealt with, hard to confront, me.

Maybe it's all coincidence, no way she,
regardless the signs I'm sure I saw, brown
eyes staring deep into my galaxy, slowed
movement, travelling further than just the moon.

The ball is in my court, I have to react except
if now she accepts what I keep refusing to accept.

Like a party with a dresscode
a lot of people acting all strange
and weird, not like they normally
would. With the consequence that
the people who stay who they really
are, get pointed out as
different.

Thank god, it's raining, I like the sound of it.
It's raining in my mind and in my soul,
There is nothing I can do to make it stop
I guess I'll just accept the fact, it will keep raining.

I can hide all my fears and tears, my loneliness
and all things I ever messed up in life. I cannot
even hear myself thinking with this rain, little drops
not dripping like leaves fall, but with impact, like bombs.

All of a sudden there is something at my window.
4 o' clock at night, sleeping difficulties keep me from
my dreams, dreams my conscience told me
I'll never understand.

When I take a look outside I notice something,
searching right next to the big difference, not finding
the actual one. It may have stopped raining here, but
somewhere else it still is. It's always raining somewhere.

I am sitting, alone, on a chair in a lonely room.
The walls are brown, the ground is grey.
Every time I hear something, I quickly try to
find, searching, where the sound came from.

The sound was nothing but a movement of
the building, changed, affected by the wind.
The sound returns more frequently as I make
my way, walking towards the door without a handle.

Suddenly I cannot hear it anymore, I'm sure it's there
So very sure, but I guess I am finally used to it.
My mind is at ease and everything seems better than before.

I tried ramming, knocking, bashing even beating and
pounding but this door just will not budge. It is not
that I am too weak, deep inside, I just don't want to leave.

Waiting, outside, for something big to happen.
My thoughts of what might come are blooming
like myrtle does this time of year. They are tappin'
my mind from the inside, all my time consuming.

Waiting, inside, in my bed, rethinking most of
my thoughts, hoping they'll come true, wishing
they will become real. If they do I will, my love,
finally be able to stop my imperishable fishing.

I should commence any form of action, anything
should do. Because doing nothing is nothing I
would do, I think, whilst getting out of my bitter bed.

Maybe I could speak or laugh or squeak or sing
for her. Filled with shame, perhaps therefore I'll die,
hence I have only got yellow courage in my head.

How I am embraced, mesmerized by simple beauty,
taking away everything that separates them from us,
and still,
noticing the differences.

Love is when you start wearing clothes more often
because she said they looked good on you.

It's when you wash your hair with the same
shampoo everyday, she said it smelled good

When you leave a seat open, next to you,
you know, just in case.

It's never the case.

I'd rather keep losing the battles for love
Than never be able to love at all.

I like to be the dreamer, gathering hope
from a certain distance, it soothes me

It suits me.

He died today
years ago
I think I would
not have liked him

Just my own sense
of jealousy, wanting
some of his talent

People of his time
Are not just people
They shaped this world

just like they used to
shape fragile statues
of marble, letters of
simplicity, filled with so
much significance

When the sky is blue, not a single cloud to spot
you have to look carefully, patiently and attentive
Just a second of losing your grip and another star
has fallen behind your back. waiting is the key.

Important producers of light making life slightly
better. A night with stars is more beautiful than
anything I can imagine. Bright gleams, waves
of smooth warmth from the outside within.

A star just made a move, not sure though, but
I desperately need some falling stars. Stars
falling, raining down on me, I desperately need.
So every small move is an important one for me.

They will never give up their spot, just for others
Never when I'm looking, I'm going to bed.

I cannot catch a break, keep my **** together
No control when necessary, no control ever.
Like a small bird, that is taught how to fly
The little bird does not have the ***** to jump

He keeps procrastinating his jump. While others
born after him, already fly to the mountains and
back but this one particularly is still on that cliff
waiting for that moment, the perfect jump.

And the others keep flying further and further
away, losing their grip on their roots, not me
I am still waiting to jump, still not confident.

Why even bother trying. I'll never fly as far
as those other birds. Maybe I should give up
for a while, give myself a break, just wait patiently.

Producing a liquid with so many meanings,
creating pictures right before your mind,
expressing happiness, anger or even facetiousness.
How small can something that essential be?

They will break you so easily, without a doubt,
remodeling every thing you held so dear.
Giving so many wrong impressions
but such a small amount of right ones.

So helpful but never really helping.
Just a simple glance, a glimpse, a quick look,
sold, to the boy with the very dark pair.

you rub them, you close and open them
Capturing this moment, maybe forever
In the end, they'll never let you down.

I keep walking on the pathway that is life
dreaming of every girl that gives a simple sign.
I know I cannot have her, yet I want her to be mine
Even though we've never even met each other.

The connection, only I seem to notice it
And every evening on my bed I sit
crying like a little girl that lost her mother
And I try so hard not to bother.

It makes no sense, but there she is
on the other end of the hallway this
happens without thinking, just staring.

She turns around, her eyes, so godlike and divine
in a glimpse my thoughts and Orpheus' align.
I wish I could make you my wife.

Choosing a girl to love is like going to the store.
You're carrying 99 cents and all you need is just one apple
You search and search and there it is
This apple is perfect, no brown spots, perfect.

You take it to the cashier, she smiles and says:
'What a wonderful choice young man, that 'll be one dollar.'
You cringe, you thought this was the day.
The day you would return home with the perfect apple

Make sure you get enough money in time
Cause when a guy with 5 dollars swoops by
He might take your perfect apple along with 4 others

You run home, searching every corner and every spot
Nothing, return to the store, begging for that apple
'I'm sorry to say so but I sold that apple a second ago.'

There's this girl, nothing like a toucan, she's better.
With a blue bowtie in her long brown hair she
still mesmerises me every day and I let her.
But there is another guy with whom she'd rather be.

And every day she smiles at me with her twinkling
eyes and gentle stare making me experience the slightest tinkling
And whenever she says hi or just anything at all
I float, I climb my big white cloud hoping not to fall.

It starts to storm, another cloud turns up out of the blue
and another, but these aren't white, they're grey and
larger than mine, larger than I ever dreamt of one to be.

I must seek a lower cloud to chase because
the higher your hopes and cloud rise, the stronger
the pain that flows through you when you collapse

When you hold on to that one girl you've met
in life and you thought you loved but not quite sure,
you forget everything else and it puzzles you if you let
it, you start to stop looking around for another thing so pure.

I have known that one thing, never ever so quite unsure it seemed.
what if I let, but not let it puzzle, no, let it go. Will I then finally be redeemed
not searching every moment for something that might be.
Will it then, at that very brief period of time, set me free?

That is all that I believed but never was anything defined
It's like everything and everyone just plays the role that is assigned.

Like one of those birds with their long beaks,
their vivid colours and beautiful wings.
Just like a numerous amount of things,
everything, even this, has its own peaks.

Enjoying their lives and living free
instead of my kind, not leaving their tree.
I fancy their ways and habits a lot,
Trying to be a part of that, easy it is not.

How can I ever put some of myself inside that dream?
How can I ever be good enough to reach the bar that is set?
How can I ever add up, live up to the thought?
Even though it strides with how I am wrought.      

And then it came to me in a bright gleam.              
And if she agrees, then my equal is met.

Why, why can't we just ask them how they feel,
let them explain what to them seems most real.
Why can't we just say: 'Hey, I kinda like you', without
a glance of pity in their eyes and remorse.

Then she  thinks of how I failed, how we failed
because I didn't follow the rules, the rules of love.
The love, like a soft spring breeze, it was definitely there
But ignorant as can be I just could not see, I never was aware.

You have to stay on that track
from time to time, looking back
maybe if I did this or that, it would have been
could have been, but never was.

And so it never led to more.

Once I hope to find a girl who doesn't,
doesn't care what others think.
Who has no need to follow the rules
together we'll walk aside the road.

Chemistry + timing does not equal love
You'll also need...

For all the years I stayed alone,
and all the times I thought I'd fail.
For every day you kept me from derail,
I guess there is no need to tell you thanks..

You know we both need help,
helping eachother will lead us through.