My mind is mapped, regretful
were you trapped
in regions with less much ado
therefore I say goodbye to you.

The second chance to make
a first impression. After you fake
a heart attack, you dread
a real one, fearing what's been said.

The choice does not only cost
you time, to reconstruct, rebuild.
You can never make up for once fulfilled,
the other life, the time you lost.

Not all is random, but all else is.
The only thing you do control,
is the choice of which role
you play in what is bound to be.

After all it happens, in a loop, unending,
a spiral and you, your beliefs defending.

Her presence triggers
all I did contain is free
I wish I could lead

Take my focus, drain my
attention. Disarm me like
autumn does with trees.
And leave me in complete and utter peace.

Too much to handle, too good
for me, and high and above,
I don't even dare to call this love,
maybe it's only some kind of mood.

How I want what I can't get,
but downgrade all I'll never have.
And you're in between. How we met,
what we say and do, so small yet

you disarm me with your every doing.
And I can't help but keep persuing.

I can hear you play the first songs
he taught you whilst I write this letter.
Because I cannot bear it anymore.
I have to tell who made you sell
to stay alive.

I strive to lead a better life
to be a better husband to my wife.
As I buried the writings with their mates,
I cried.

My reasoning states
that I never lied.

Why did I drive a car that day?
And you must never hear me say
that I  used to drive a cab for money.
Even once, that moment, less sunny.
I slipped, derailed and was the origin of hurt.

His cane was useless after that.
And I drove all night to hush
my means. Never did I think I'd rush
away from such occurrings.