I have all my materials, a bathingsuit and
everything my tutor gave me. I love
to dip my leg in the water up to my
knees to check if the fluids are good.

But last week, when I knew I would
have to jump, I sabotaged myself, o why,
did I have to climb the ladder of
that springboard, I could not hand

myself some help, now I could not
feel the water. I had to jump without
the checking, it felt rather nerve-racking.
So I took the leap of no return, only south.

I went in head first, lessons didn't help a lot.
It was never the brightest idea, selftuition.

Where do I go, what can I do,
is this what's supposed to
be happening or is it a state
of confusion blinding my faith?

I can't wipe all these question marks
away, I am not gifted by sparks
to lead my way, I am not all knowing
but hoping you could stay, going

to every place, hoping to find you,
trying to seal the hopes in cages,
behind and in bars, betting wages,
deal the cards, I feel lucky tonight.

Nothing for today, but everyday
for your hand I'll stride and fight.

Second place achieved, after cheating.
You can say I have failed, I was beaten,
it's true, I lost. My number one did not
let me win, let me in, gave me hope

and now I have to cope with the feelings,
mixture of much, turns out to be just one,
indignant. The country loves his winners,
losers are not worthy. I'm more into blues.

Rock her world, making plans, another
man's idea, my misery, it's easy to understand.
Yet I'm the only one who does. I told you
I was wrong and sorry and hopeless.

Now, 24 seconds after timeless, countlessly,
trying, I give up. I am made to be second.

You never told me exactly what you
were thinking, never made me feel
like a difference in your life. Am I
that worthless or is it not your style?

We've been with eachother for a while
and after all these years or days, do
you still adore me, touch me , love my
every move? If I'm the onion, peel,

my every layer till you see the center.
You can change me on the inside.
But you never grabbed your chance.

It is your heart I wish to enter,
open up your thoughts real wide,
I'll make our love continue the dance

I've been pushing far beyond my limit.
Still, no reply, as if I don't exist, as if
I am not recognized. Autumn is coming.
The flowers can feel it, the trees can feel it.

Woodland critters shivering up in their
safe, warm nests. Only caring for food,
survival and continuing their race. Race
back to your home, you don't belong here.

Even though he tries so hard to be a part
of the life she lives, again carelessly, maybe
stuck with someone else inside her head.

I shouldn't care any less or more. Even when
I care too much, it's just right. The wind is
tearing me apart, yet I am up in my safe,
warm nest.

The one horse no one wants to ride
the one piece of fruit, so beautiful inside
that no one wants to eat. Always about
me, why not someone else this time?

Listen to me whine, listen to my fears.
People see me as a rotten apple, am I
as bad as soap for dinner, mixed with
onions just to make me burst out into tears.

Tears that make me see, shut my mouth
and see, though the sight is blurred, why
the king of running sometimes falls. Climb
untill you could fall, as high, as no one could.

Yesterday I've learned something I should
have learned a while ago, I understand the myth.

build it, brick by brick and if a brick
was built with wrong instructions,
throw the brick away and create a
new one. Put it next to the first one.

Stop, destroy the wall you've made.
Just talk to her, stupid.