I scream and I scream with no sound,

clenched jaw, shivering body, i see white.

                  T   R   A   P   P   E   D

Inside the bleach stained walls

of my skull; I long to shatter it.

                 B   R   E   A   T   H   E

Through chemical burnt lungs; they have shrivled.

                 C   H   O   K   E;

Blood tastes better regurgitated.

i am dripping wet, sitting on your lap after the keg party.

i bounce off of you as you bounce off of the seat.

"is your **** bleeding?"
we laugh.

we are soaked.
i am soaked; so now you are, after trying so hard to dry.
we were naked together, all of us, but especially 'us'.

we were drinking whisky, canadian.
and generic cola to match.

cigarettes we rolled ourselves.

and after i told you about my parents waking me up in the middle of the night when it was pouring, you said, "let's go smoke a cigarette on the back porch".

let's walk in the rain for the next hour, the next decade, the next century, the next forever, infinity.
"cheers, this is beautiful"

Let me tell you about highschool
Let me tell you about the girls with hair higher then they can reach
The boys with the careless hair
The love intre-

No

Let me tell you about MY highschool
With the nerd shirts and phrases that most don’t understand
With the football games and the blue and white face paint
The girls talking to me with another pair of lips rather than the ones plastered on their face

No

Let me tell you about life
About the dew drops in the morning
The smile hidden in a stranger as he orders his double mocha triple shot dosage of love
Injected

No

Let me tell you about me
Let me tell you about my mom and her thin lips that orchestrate fat lies
Let me tell you about my dad who treats the bottle like the daughter he never wanted
Let me tell you about my school life and the way I get treated

No

Let me tell you a story
A story about ups and downs
Pills and coke and *****
With books and love interests
I cant fit my life into a poem

I can tell you my love life in a poem
My scars in a poem
My hate in a poem
My fears in a poem
I can’t tell you my life

I can tell you about my surroundings
How I always try to be strong
But you can only stick your head near ***** for so long
Before you start smelling what they're saying.

I can tell you about homophobia
About the men who flinch at the very word ******
Or the girls who are so uncomfortable with themselves they starve
I can tell you about the parents childless because of bullying

So tell me
What do you want to hear today?

you invited us
to life’s one act play
where the bearded lady shouts to me
in her mocking spotlights
I don’t stay to listen
to what might be the truth
long ago I hid from that,
(burning bibles talking, and
prison doors locking)
yes, I fled
through the tempting doors
not yet barred
to write riddles
far from her shining stage
outside, in the cold stillness
alone
where the owl plays some game in the night
and hoots its signal of our plight

who the **** cares how
you look? beautiful, to me,
you're unparalleled.

To the boy in my German class who critizised me for picking a male name instead of a female one.

I wonder how your head will ****
When you see your best friend Joey
Become Johanna

I wonder how your jaw will drop
When you see your son
Beg to be bought a dress

I wonder how your ears will suffer
When your daughter
Shows up at your home with her girlfriend

I wonder if you will care
You called me crazy
My name is Dirk

My name is Gender Roles
If you are born a female
I come with
Flowers

I come with
Barbies and pink accessories
I come with pink kitchen sets
and doll hair brushes and fake makeup

I come with pink
I come with pink
I come with pink
I come with pink

I come in fusha
I come in burgandy
I come in lilac
I come in white

For the added package
I come with liposuction
and days without food

I come with too tight clothes
and more labels than you can count
I come with kitchen jokes

I come with being judged if you
had ***
or
Haven't

But wait there's more

If you are male
I come with toy trucks
And remote controls
I come with not crying

I come with blue *****
And Sunday football games
And rough housing and be a man

Be a man
Be a man
Be a man
Be a man

I come in Testosterone black
I come in beaten up blue
I come in Grades don't matter green
I come in what're you looking at white

For the added package
I come with teasing
Required gym time
Peer preasure
Don't cry

I come with straightness
And close minded friends
I come with video games
I come with make the money

Pay for dinner
Pay for movies
Pay for living
Pay for squirming

I come with physical torture

Critizised
For having ***
or
Not having ***

My name is Gender roles and I come in a school room
My name is Izzie and I'm alive
My name is Christy and I'm crying
My name is Dirk and I am satisfied

My name is Gender roles