Most trauma in my life
has been self-inflicted.
What happened to my eyes
that made them betray me?
Self talk is power
thoughts can take hold
they corrupt your mind
break your spirit
and send you into
a vortex of depression
The longer you spin
the harder it is to be still.
Tether yourself to a glimmer of hope
Try your best to weather the storm

My thoughts are sentimental
as I lay in bed,
thinking of my home
and the oak tree out back.

I'm sure there are still
rusted chains hanging
from that withering tree,
Left over from our swing

I'm thinking of my childhood
and what it felt like to be free
I'd like to return but
Time has aged me

So I am left with these memories
that keep sleep away
while I turn in the darkness
and await the next day

In the middle of this pandemic
At least I have you
My beautiful girl by the river
sharing coffee as the day begins
Wondering together
If things will ever be
as they once were

I am looking for hydra
in a lot of places
I try to cultivate it
with mind games
but they never really work
Places like that do not last long
perfection fades
like contrails in the sky
I am looking for a place
with a foundation of love
A community of hearts
Together, floating
For a moment in time

Lend your body to my hands
I want to know what its like to toil
I have been infected by your beauty
fantasies of you seep into my pillow
we now sleep together

In a coffee shop
on 118th & 10th
overlooking teachers college.
Enjoying my coffee
and a day off work
i melt into my seat
trying my best
to lock on to the rhythm
of people walking by.