Here at the cross roads
Which way do I go?
The opposite of the sunset?
Or the the way back home?
I close my eyes to think.
I let it all sink.
Do I continue on this road?
I'm ready for a change
Am I ready to leave?
Maybe Im not.
Am I ready to finally take this jump?
A jump into Oblivion
Into a world unknown.
Maybe I should just go back home.
Everything is normal.
Not one thing ever changes.
I think it's time for me to make my own decision.
It's time that I set out to be the person that I'm not.
To be a better me.
Mom, I hope you understand.
I've finally made my decision .
To be a better man.

You've made me laugh
You've made me cry.
But today I looked into your eyes.
Today I really saw you.
My whole world stopped,
And I let out a loving sigh.
You've saved me once or twice.
From myself I might say.
It's not easy loving me,
But you've done it so easily.
You've seen my darkest side
And you've heard my deepest secrets.
Still you hold onto my heart.
Even when you didn't always want to keep it.
I don't deserve you, love.
I probably never will,
But you're here with me still.
I've shoved and I've pushed
Scared of a love I've never had.
But you're still here with me.
You've finally made me see.
I'm grateful Just to have you.
You have loved me through and through.
The love that I owe you is long over due.

Today I sit under a tree.
The hot sun beating down on me.
I take a deep breath
Finding myself falling into a deep sleep.
My eyes grow weary
As I drown out every sound.
The ground underneath me slowly fades away.
I try to catch myself,
But my hands give way.
Flailing around and screaming
I remind myself I'm dreaming.
I do my best to wake up
When nothing happens I stand up.
I search for a door.
Anyway to get out of this place.
A voice whispers in my ear
"Anywhere you go you aren't safe"
Fear overwhelms me
Tears running down my face.
The voice whispers again,
"We've always been with you. We know of your every sin."
I tried my best to run.
The voices all seemed to be having fun.
"We've locked you up tightly. There's no where to go."
I screamed out "who are you friend or foe?"
"We're the demons in your head."
Finally I understood.
They set up a trap so well.
They wanted to keep me here.
So that they could feed immensely on my fear.
I wouldn't let that happen.
I couldn't die here.
I woke up from my nap
Drenched in sweat
My thoughts still clouded from fear.
I decided from that day on
My demons will no longer live here.

As I sit in this fire
I realize it's what I've always desired.
Ive stranded myself in this hell.
In here is where I dwell.
It's crowded in this room.
I know I won't get out of this soon.
You see, I created my own hell.
Just for me. Not anyone else.
It's I who must suffer.
Only me alone.
Each passing day the fire takes a new tone.
I wish that I could go back.
Back to the place I once called home
But I burned it to the ground.
I messed up when I lost my self control.
My pain got a hold of me.
My anger was a release.
Everything about it was a little bittersweet.
I started getting scared.
My family did too.
I tried to play it off.
I did the best I could,
But I was an open flame
When I caught myself in the mirror.
All I could see was shame.
The pain just kept on coming
The God's I called summoning.
No one ever answered.
I don't think they cared.
So I chose this for myself.
That's why I'm stuck here.
Living in my personal hell.

Stuck in this bottle.
Where do I go?
I feel like I've lost all control.
This feeling it hurts.
I wish I could show.
My thoughts are consuming.
They even overflow.
This bottle is small.
My  aspirations are to large.
I wish I could finally take charge.
My mind was once beautiful.
My heart was once pure.
This world tore me apart.
It left me nothing more.
Just a little light to fix these dark clouds.
I'm all out of fight.
I started getting used to the night.

Every night I lay awake.
I can't sleep.
My mind takes me to this place.
I ache to be in your presence.
It pains me that I'm not in your arms.
I hate waking up without you.
It makes me not want to wake up at all.
My days drag on so long,
But at night it's even worse.
I lay here and think about you.
I wish to have just the slightest touch.
My hours drag on.
My mind is constantly moving.
I pray every night that god sends you back my way.
Since you've been gone my heart has been empty.
I have this unfulfilling abyss.
It constantly reminds me I'm sleeping beauty waiting for that kiss.

I wasted my time.
Drowning myself in my mind.
Rationalizing my demons.
Forgetting not to feed them.
I grew weak.
Everything inside of me started to shriek.
Like an alarm warning me, so to speak.
I was blindly running.
Bumping into everything, and my well fed demons found it funny.
Not one edge of my world was clear.
So I kept running out of fear.
I tried to find a way out.
I did everything I could.
But I lost sight of myself.
No one could save me.
I had to make a decision.
I had to finally be free.
I woke up from this dreary dream.
My demons still haunt me.
They scratch and they scream.
But I hold them prisoners.
Just as they once held me.