I feel defeated.
I feel drained.
Everything is on my mind and nothing all at once.
I ignore it all and pretend to smile.
Pretending is harder than screaming.
Farther I dive into this deep abyss.
This deep abyss of sadness and regret.
Regretting not letting go when I was told to.
But in my adolescents I was a fool.
Now I'm laying here drowning in this bed.
A bed full of heartache and tears.
I will live like this for many years.
It all hurts so bad that I'm numb.
I know you're pricking me but I feel nothing.
All I want is to release it all.
To scream my mind.
But I'm not in that place.
So I'll sit here in this drowning bed.
Allowing my thoughts to actively swallow me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll change,
But today I want to stay this way.

I feel nothing.
Like a blank page.
Locked inside of a cage.
I can't figure out my life's destination.
I'm losing all concentration
My dreams are green of envy.
My thoughts aren't pure.
My rage is heavy.
I have no clear path.
No pavement before me.
I am standing here feelings God's wrath.
Singled out in a clearing.
Whispering curses that only the trees are hearing.
Scared to take a step.
Always fearing when God will strike next.
He laughs at my pain.
Pinning me to the ground in this chain.
I hate being locked in this cage.

You are the song stuck in my head. 
An unchanging tune where my heart is led. 
you are the first break of day. 
The light that shines through my sky claiming it's place. 
You are the moon that controls my ever moving tides. 
I love you like rain kissing roses collide. 
I am slowly fading into you,
Becoming lost in your soul. 
Becoming lost in YOU. 
I no longer see where you stop and I began. 
Everyone says I am a mad man, 
But being with you is climbing a mountain that seems like a hill. 
I am apart of you still. 
Breathing the intoxicating succulent nectar. 
You alone are my devoted protector.

A million words left unsaid.
A million thoughts piling in my head.
My tongue is weak.
From Lack of communication I truly seek.
Instead I just lay in my bed.
Thinking of different ways I can pound in my head.
Hoping my mind will stop racing,
But there's no one here to interrupt my pacing.
Back and forth, back and forth.
How much am I truly worth?
Never changing towards a different direction.
If only someone could show me a little affection.
Everyone's busy.
No one is around.
That's when I think the worst.
When will someone lift me from this curse?
I'm sitting next to you.
Can you see me?
You ignore me as if you can't even hear me.
I could hold my breath and you still wouldn't notice.
A limp body laying next to you
And you still could care less.
I'm not one to judge you,
But you could act like you give a ****

I have an addiction.
I can't survive without it.
Like a drug that makes my head light.
Like a drink that will never quench my thirst.
I've been living with this curse.
My addiction is hard to cope with.
Taking over my body.
Taking over my mind.
My heart just keeps pounding
Slowing it down may **** me.
Only you hold the key.
My addiction has a name.
Nothing that rhymes with seth.
My addiction is you.
My love I have for you is true.
I wake up and I crave a sip of your youth.
I know you are trying to save me,
But I'm lost and you can't set me free.
You are my addiction.
I'm high on loving you.
Please Don't tell me when my addiction is through.

Raindrops fell from the sky.
I tried to look away,
But my eyes I could not pry.
Staring down the clouds.
I watch a hand reach out.
Fear had struck me.
I stood still in my place.
Disbelief clearly on my face.
Not a single soul was around to see.
I tried to speak out.
But the God's ignored me.
For I am one being,
And a god is many.
Gold raindrops covered the streets.
I heard a loud cry.
That's when I realized.
These were not raindrops but tears.
They continued to fall from the sky.
A voice boomed with a defying sigh.
I couldn't imagine a god cry.
This was something out of the ordinary.
You never realize what burdens they carry.
Out of sight out of mind.
You never see how they portray mankind.
For this is the sniffles of the gods.
Defined against all odds.

Things got worse today.
I saw them take you.
I saw them drag you away.
My stomach feels sick.
I can't speak.
My throat has a lump in it.
I want to talk to you.
I want you back home.
You know I hate sleeping alone.
I had a dream of you.
I woke up in tears.
Tonight when I reached for you
You weren't there.
My heart broke today.
This is the second time it's happened.
I found out new things about you.
I'm trying to ignore them.
My mind is wandering perfusely
I'm doing my best to stop it.
Just give me a call tomorrow.
Let me know this will all be alright.
We were about to leave.
Start our lives off right.
Now we're at a stopping point.
And my throat still feels tight.
I want to scream at you.
I want this to all go away.
This new information you told me.
I want to ignore it and make it all okay.
Please someone help me.
Please tell me it's just a dream.
Because today I saw them take you.
They dragged you away from me.