I stand above my bed
And examine the damage.
Blankets this way and that
Pillows all over
Sheets tangled up around themselves.
Proof of something that
Only hours ago
Left this place empty.
I take in the rubble
And breathe deeply.
I lower myself down to those
Tangled sheets
And backwards bedspreads
And fill my lungs with you.
I pull them up around me
And close my eyes
And wish for this place to be
The same kind of battleground
Again tomorrow.

batted eyelashes
winked eyelids
open doors
clothes fall to floors

silk on satin
both on carpet
you got the lighter baby?
please, let me spark it.

Inhale
Dilate
Circulate
Brain cells annihilate.

skin on hair
both on mattress
you got that *** baby?
please, let me smack it.

Turn around
Up and Down
Headboard Pound.

r e l e a s e

light another up
sheets on bodies
bodies on each other.

There's some sanity
in these circumstances
that slide through my view:

"Is it possible to live like you?"
He asked without knowing what
he meant, "because I want to know."

She laughed, still hugging a stranger,
"Inside you're very busy, calculating.
Only alone-ness can give true happiness.

Create some silence within,
for silence is love; and where
there is emptiness, love can flow."

"But how can I love so much?"
He spat his snide remark.
"No love can be inexhaustible."

"For me there is no other-ness;
every one is an extension
of my Self." She smiled.

"All the love I give is returned;
every drop taken is returned to the source.
It is inexhaustible because nothing is wasted."

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."

It Starts
when he carves a home into your heart,
shoots a bullet between your ears
and scratches his name under your eyelids.
he controls you, he is on top,
and you are nothing but the cheap *****
and five dollar cigarettes you taste like.
and again again again he will whisper
‘i love you i love you iloveyou’
like he is promising the world.
you know he’s only promising another bruise
right on your nerves,
and another night spent anything but alone.
no matter how hard you try to
push him
out.

And Then
after a while, you lose yourself
like you did before,
when you weren’t black and blue.
you promise yourself better
while you let the bad leak out
and drink your own good in.
every time you try to let him out,
and make everything scar over,
somehow he gets back in, but deeper.
in deeper than the bullet between your eyes,
the knife between your veins,
the cracks in your mirror.
and it stings more than the
spiderweb gashes on the backs
of your
hands.

In The End
you will beg and plead and scream
‘i love you i love you iloveyou’
again and again and ‘again’.
he’ll lose his nerve like you lost your breath,
‘again please again’ like you lost your heart,
‘please god just one more time’
like you
lost
your
mind.