Fiends always lurking, friends too busy getting blazed unknowing.
Of the dangers within life’s maze, waiting to make a killing.
Love of money is deceiving cause death don’t take no holidays.
Ya should know by now that these hoes, money & fame will betray.
Lead ya astray but I guess ya need a reminder; call it growing pains.
Jeremy Miller re-runs, re-plays, gotta have a legacy to leave for decades.
These days ain’t guaranteed, could have success but that can fade.
What’s a 70’s show shot in the 90’s without Topher Grace?
Indeed somethings can’t be replaced.
**** gotta have chemistry, otherwise the recipe will have a distaste.
Sour fruits breeds toxicity, becoming overblown till ya overdose cause that **** was laced.
Houses full of Payne, everyday another loss, but the masses gotta stay entertained.
So, with loss comes gains, ***** insane, ignore the corpses & enjoy the champagne.
Like a champ beaten and bruised until they numb to the pain.
Brain injuries cannot continue to be sustained!
But there ain’t no half-steppin’, isn’t that right Big Daddy Kane?
However, without tragedy, what would happen for those like Bruce Wayne?
I know that if I didn’t overcome adversity, I probably wouldn’t be the same!
So, perhaps that is why **** don’t change?
Cause some Climatized to the chains!

Victims to the game.
Always yearning for others to blame.
To justify actions so disgustingly vain.
No different than the nobles & colonists that ***** our ancestors.
Literally creating who we are today;
Intergenerational slaves.
Perpetuating cycles, perpetuating pain.
Victims to the game.

They say I’m in mint condition with my mink coat jacket but when I see myself in the mirror I don’t like my reflection.
I feel like I need a viewer discretion over my head, for its suggestive and covered in red.
All my life I had to deal with red tape, and I realized there’s no escape for this savage ape.
So ugly they say, might as well ******* or try your luck with the gays.
Was deemed too dense, and apparently also had no fashion sense.

Two-faced Harvey dents, dying a hero or living long enough to becoming corrupt in one’s own moral fundament’s.
Walking the road, filling the void, for things don’t bode well when you don’t fit the mould.
Yet we are still seen as a mold that rots the status quo.
But ***** it on with the show!
Introducing a scrawny man in woe trying to make mo, but for every dollar he makes his dignity plummets in the stool.
For one can’t make something of their life if they can’t afford school.
But society doesn’t mind for your seen as just another tool in the machine.
Where those in power make the real cha-Ching!
Which makes one cling on the clip trying to bring themselves to blowing out their brains!

Wishing they were plain so they could experience what’s it’s like to ride the gravy train.
For being called names pollutes the veins of those once sane. Draining out the savage from the child in order to make us tame.
I am not able to handle you Cain!
For pain sustains privileged and jealous terrain!
Getting nervous when those who remain try to regain morality for the truly ordained.
No longer will you be entertained by nailing and crucifying us in Jesus’ name!
No more will be hanged or martyred for your hunger games!
Over 600 hundred years a slave is long enough!
Yeah! No more will you keep us chained!

Got my head in the clouds again,
Daydreaming of a life,
I could never live.
Love might as well be a fantasy.
I tried too hard to be like the covers I see on the magazines.
Grass seemed so much greener,
But in reality it was like gasoline.
That exploded in my face,
Guess I should’ve left the acting to those on the movie screens.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

I’m feel like I’m always on low power mode,
Wonder when imma bout to shut down.
Medicine keeps me docile,
Haven’t been myself for awhile.
Broken hearted, shattered mind.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause fantasy is more enticing.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause I’m tired of fighting.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

As an indigenous person what is one place you would avoid like the plague?

Easy hospitals. Hospitals are one of the most traditional in thinking. The doctor is the expert and any other person’s thoughts or opinions don’t matter. You get glared at all the time. Get sarcastic or passive aggressive answers to questions. The mood coming from hospitals towards indigenous people is get the **** out. You also get talked down to or doctors treat you like you have a disability or like your deaf. If you ever want to feel like not being welcomed somewhere go to a hospital. Also many hospitals in Canada have a very racist past. Like not letting indigenous people in especially if they are an injured homeless person. So many homeless indigenous people have frozen death outside hospitals because they refused to help them. Homeless indigenous people are also stereotyped as being drunk indians so that’s another reason they are refused entry into hospitals. By some miracle if they are allowed in they usually will die from injury because they won’t help them. Slowly dying for hours as others are helped before them all because of their skin colour. So, yeah not a big fan of hospitals. They probably have a indigenous body count as high as some residential schools.

Into the abyss (x4)
Go!

Fallen angel.
Broken winged.
Desolation becomith!
Depression consumes me whole.
Destruction awaits!
The deeper I fall.
Into the abyss( x4)

War torn hero.
Once noble son.
Internal screams cloud my head.
As the innocent children lie dead.
All for peace!
That’s what my country said.
Guilt riddles, like the bullets that were aimed at my head!
Coming back to a life I no longer recognize.
Looked at as a patriot!
But knowing that I’m really a demon.
Please don’t worship me.
I didn’t do anything worth celebrating!
Wishing I died on the battlefield that day.
Instead of sitting here alone on Remembrance Day!

Fallen angel.
Broken winged
Desolation becomith!
Depression consumes me whole.
Destruction awaits!
The deeper I fall.
Into the abyss( x4)

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

See I grew up being a failure,
Got abused left and right,
Some days I swear I saw my maker.
Asking him why I keep having to fight?
A cruel world filled with misdemeanours.
That delight in cockfights.
Never roosting on their morals,
Instead, they make mountains out of molehills.
Clubbing tender-hearted fools like me refusing to club the seals.
After all, Men can't show weakness they gotta be hard as steel!
This must be a nightmare cause this **** can't be for real?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

I'm so torn inside,
Since the day they tore me from my mother.
Grew up in a penitentiary reciting Our Father.
Torn from a culture, from my sisters and my brothers.
Many tried to escape but could not escape the vultures.
After all we might have lost our culture,
But we couldn't bleach the colour…
Of our sin, oops I meant skin.
Then again it was all the same to them.
The supposed holy ones that wore the devils grin.
Uh, but **** it for my….

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

I may not be able to birth a child,
But I swear that somedays I go through birthing pains.
To say that I’ve been through things,
Is a ******* understatement.
A survivor without guilt, sick of the chains,
And the constant payments.
If self care was a stock it’d be the best ******* investment.
Gotta figure out the Tetris blocks, cause services cost more than a months rent.
Plus it’s a joke that thinks it can take the stank outta the coffin with incense.
Insensitive at our expense, can never understand what it’s like across the fence.
What it like to always be in suspense.
Keeping glocks hidden cause ya never know when **** will get intense.
Never knowing when the clock stops to tick till it’s… next stop the graveyard express.
***** a complex mess that keeps recycling tragic events.
Never fully addressed, cause we so desensitized to the content.
Got me wondering…
What the ******* the point of growing pains,
If we ain’t grow.
Never appreciating the drive till ya die like Vincent Van Gogh!
Too busy criticizing individuals, unable to look beyond the storm to see the rainbow.
Got me wondering…
Where would I be today if no one took the time to see my rainbow?
If all they did was focus on the storm?
I probably would’ve took my life with a knife that night.
Traumatizing my mother, fulfilling a parents worst fright.
I just want those that are struggling currently to keep up the fight.
To speak up and get help, and know that through the darkness there is light.

When good faces evil,
You get one intense battle,
Eyelids trace intents of cattle,
Placing weighted content that’ll,
Shift resilience towards the peaceful or deceitful.
It all depends on the type of people,
That contends genetic designs of primal,
Adrenal glands that defend against the lethal.
That could stem back when our moms had labour.
And whether or not they harboured,
Alcohol, drugs or other stressful factors.
That can affects the hand one has like a game of poker.
That can become dreadful detractors,
For children once they grow older.

As one wanders closer,
One has to wonder,
What fatal gates await,
Will they reach Aslan’s place,
Or end up in motel Bates?

Who decides good and evil?
A gang in the hood is stable,
Until police are dispersed from the snitching of a weasel.
A burst of betrayal that leaves brothers in jail.
Got the weasel on the run, alliances have sailed.
Trying to find ways to cut off their rat tails.
Getting a witness protection detail.
So, I ask you is that good or evil?
I guess it depends on perspective.
Is it wrong to survive by being deceptive?
Doesn’t everyone have a selfish incentive?
That drives them towards their objectives?
Or is nature or nurture that determines genetics?
What if you committed a crime,
Because of being neglected.
Products of environment,
With freedoms unprotected.
Is it their fault or societies fault?
I guess it depends on your perspective.
So...

As one wanders closer,
One has to wonder,
What fatal gates await,
Will they reach Aslan’s place,
Or end up in motel Bates?

There’s animals in my head!
Drowning noises with substances!
There’s animals in my head!
Something dark and twisted lingers!
There’s animals in my head!
Biting off my finger tips.
There’s animals in my head!
Running out of pill containers
There’s animals in my head!
Won’t someone please come save me!
Save me (x3)!

Cockroaches cover my body!
Get the knife, to cut them off me!
Wait where did the bugs go?
And why am I all ******?
Was I dreaming?
Was I tripping?
Blood is dripping!
Feelings weakening!
Fear is sinking!
Is this the end for me?
This can’t be the end for me!
I won’t let this be the end for me!

I’m not done yet.
Devils wondering why I don’t quit.
But I won’t give him the ******* benefit.

There’s animals in my head!
Drowning noises with substances!
There’s animals in my head!
Something dark and twisted lingers!
There’s animals in my head!
Biting off my finger tips
There’s animals in my head!
Running out of pill containers
There’s animals in my head!
Won’t someone please come save me!

Please don’t leave me!

She got the where with all,
Which is good cause,
I’m in withdrawal.

The laws of attraction,
Can cause some tension,
When she is in love with me,
But I’m in love with alcohol.

Don’t know how it happened?
Mind over matter,
Until I’m met with Jacob’s ladder,
As the room spun, and my eyes blackened.

A darkness unlike any depression,
A bleakness likened to my inner weakness.
That reminds me,
Of a boy trapped inside a man’s body.
A boy who never grew up,
Like those in neverland.
A boy who wanted desperately to fly away,
Like Peter Pan.

These repressed memories,
That are usually drowned,
By the sounds of toxic dependence.
Are now rushing into the door,
Of my heart.
That I try my best to keep shut.
From the monsters that like to tear off.
Pieces of me, like I’m some injured animal.
That hardened me to the world,
That to me was a cannibal.
That eats innocents like me alive.
With no answers as to why?

So, than why should I remain sober?
Instead of continuing to be numb?
Aren’t we all pretenders?
Under the thumbs,
Of sweet surrender?

A surrender from our true selves.
Everyone is an actor,
In show and tell.
Wanting to be in the centre,
Of the spotlight.
Instead of the lingering,
In the shadows of hell.

Which got me wondering?
What demon your hiding from?
And what concoction you use,
To keep it at bay?

I lie floundering
I lie like driftwood
I lie peacefully

I lie soundly
I lie unfiltered and free
I lie flawlessly

I lie sweetly
I lie gentle nothingness
I lie so softly

I lie beside you
I lie to you and myself
I lie with another

Be careful of what seems innocent.
Small acts of hate unseen by the eye,
Acts that can snowball into larger threats.
When tears could fill rivers high.
For their stories are suppressed.
As they defy,
The socially constructed narrative.
Can’t even say goodbye.
As that, like everything is prohibited.

Only a small demographic,
Can experience democracy.
After all it’s a demo,
That you got to pay to win!
Oh, the hypocrisy.

What makes a difference?
Apparently it’s pigment.
And worth is not equivalence.
When people are forced into shipments.
Is that what they mean by deliverance?
Wish this was all a figment.
For I in sane consciousness.
Cannot believe it.
That we live in a world,
That murders the innocent.
And justifies it as omnipotence.
And anyone who says otherwise,
Is a heretic.

Only a small demographic,
Can experience democracy.
After all it’s a demo,
That you got to pay to win!
Oh, the hypocrisy.

What is freedom?
Well it’s certainly ain’t free.
So, does that make it dumb?
To get wood, you must cut down the tree.
And to make a new land and a hefty sum.
You must cut down the native and Métis.
Seems fair to me. (Sarcasm)
So, than what is equality?
When the quality of one is tarnished,
For the sake of supremacy?
If we are equal?
Why are there still those in need?
If we have freedom,
Than why do we still bleed?
And the innocents in jail aren’t free?
Why are there still cries from those like George Floyd,
Screaming that they just can’t breathe?
Tell me!
If we have democracy,
Why are they still sterilizing people who look like me?
Why is there still so much divide and animosity?
And I like some many others,
Have to face discrimination on the basis of our biology?
Tell me! I really want to know!

Why is it?…

Only a small demographic,
Can experience democracy?
Maybe it is,
A demo after all.
That you got to pay to win!
Oh, the hypocrisy.

Feelings left unresolved,
How is it that humans evolve?
Yet I stagnate unfulfilled?
Perhaps, because I treat God like a happy meal?
Numb the pain, take another pill.
Shut the **** up, I know the drill.
Losing myself to the venom, becoming ill.
Eyes grow berserk, the minds become a rind of a lemon shell.
Soured my soul, how can I heal?
When my oppressors are in jail,
Got no one else to blame,
I’m the one keeping myself in hell.
Oh joy, got to swallow another bitter pill.
Insanity plagues my actions like a hamster wheel.
Watching as humans adapt to a reality,
That I can never feel.
How can I expect a holy father to answer prayers,
If I’m struggling with the idea that he’s not even real?
Perhaps, because I don’t know a father that is holy?
Abandoned, yet always yearning to be worthy.
Should I blame my father,
Or the system that did my people *****?
That ironically came in the name of the almighty.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Desires lost due to self medication.
Expired hope, feelings numb to the condemnation.
Hard to be a free man with priors,
Even if you dress nice and are clean shaven.
Past regrets and actions have found their equation.
Evicted convict chained since the day they took formation.
Hard to ace the test with Ace’s, let alone get a well financed and funded education.
Knowledge hindered by trauma passed down from generation to generation.
But instead of evaluation and validation,
One is meet with subjugation and marginalization.
Are you starting to see the correlations?
Can’t adapt or evolve, because of unchanged racist policies, acts, and legislations.
With our history undermined by ignorant Caucasians.
Should I blame myself?
Or the ones that caused this devastation?
That came with promises of salvation.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Fangs of malice,
Dig into the imbalance.
Hard to give up the taste from the chalice.
Hard to give up living in a palace.
Money gained from silence.
Blood is thicker than water,
But fill up what the mind is.
Big headed ego, that’s where the pride is.
Can’t ever please your highness.
Cant escape the actions that were heinous.
Even if you pour the wine down your esophagus.
Or snort up coke like snuffleupagus.
Hard to be genuine, when you where the public is.
Wear a mask, fake a smile, save your images.
Donating money to the same kids,
That work in slave workplaces.
Where they work to keep up your appearances.
Everyone’s a hypocrite, live with it!

I’ve been dreaming for some time.
Of fairies.
Soaring up high.
Brighting up the darkened sky.
And I can’t lie.
This feeling that stirs inside.
That some try to hide.
But I can’t let this moment die.
So, baby would you mind if I,
Take your hand in mine?

And come and dance with me?
Tonight.
Baby, won’t you dance with me?
Tonight.

I’ve been dreaming for some time.
Of butterflies.
And a smile as bright as the sunshine.
With eyes as blue as the sky.
Got me hypnotized.
Is this paradise?
I could fall asleep,
Right beside.
The one that I…
Love.

So,
Baby, come dance and with me.
Tonight.
Baby, won’t you dance with me?
Tonight.

Oh,
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow, take it slow, alright?

I’ve been dreaming for some time.
Of canaries.
And those red lips as sweet as cherry pie.
Oh, my! Oh, my!
I can’t help but feel paralyzed.
Oh, why! Oh, why!
Does my heart feel so sky high?
So high, so high!
So, baby would you mind if I,
Take your hand in mine?

And come and dance with me?
Tonight.
Baby, won’t you dance with me?
Tonight.

Sun shining.
It’s a new day.
Sun shining.
On me today.

What a wonderful day.
What a beautiful day.
But a day isn’t perfect,
Until I’m with you.
Until I see your smile.
Shine on me.
Like the Sun.
For you are my light.
When things get dark.
You are my hope.
When I’m weakhearted.
You are my support.
The partner.
God created just for me.

I’m so lucky.
Truly.
As the sun shines on me.
I await the next day.
A day with you.
A day to see you smiling.
To see you laughing.
Holding hands walking.
Into the horizon.

Where possibilities never end.
Where happiness tends,
Tends to live on.
Strong as the promises.
That has bound us together.
Forever.
Where two become one.
Where the setting of the sun.
Is not the end.
But the beginning of a new.
A new life with you.
My Bel Amour.

They say you can only trust yourself,
Grey strands brushed; underlying wealth,
Looking dismayed cause I don’t even love myself.
Woah.
Can’t I be somebody else?
If only hearts could melt,
As easily as ice.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Now.
The only sound,
I fear is appreciation.
Because most don’t see the lust and fornication.
That lay beneath the lies,
That’s locked behind my eyes.
A painful desire,
That wants to climb higher.
Yet is never happy.
That’s wants more.
Yet is left always empty.
An identity,
That is clouded in mystery.
Chained to a shame,
That damns the brain.
Who thoughts can no longer contain,
The reigns.
Even the droplets from his eyes,
Are a desert that has forgotten rain.
Like a horse with no name,
It’s all apart of norms that mamed.
What constitutes being a man.
Who has ran,
From every problem.
Like it was the boogeyman.
****.
Can’t I be somebody else?
If only hearts could melt,
As easily as ice.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
He asks himself.
With thoughts that welt,
Like it was struck with a belt.
A pain that is unseen,
That has locked him up.
Way before quarantine.
They say no one can hear you scream,
In space.
Yet even on earth everyone ignores it.
For mental health is like a banana split.
Your treated like your banana’s,
And everybody splits. (Hahaha).
Like it’s some joke.
Until their bodies croak.
Because they lost their hope.
To be seen and heard.
Like the songs from a bird.
Yet are instead dismissed as diseases,
That need to be cured.
Oh, Man.
Can’t I be somebody else?
If only hearts could melt,
As easily as ice.
Wouldn’t that be nice?

There are many facets of breaking.
Each taking varied directions,
Just as one does with life.
Like words cure or reap acid.
Water runs deep; gotta look deeper to see the connections.
Take a breath and use it for reflection.
Don’t want to have a stroke taking strokes and wading through the molasses.
That traps us, unable to move in our lanes.
We may no longer be slaves yet some still remain chained.
Waiting on things to change yet no doing their part to see said change.
Unable to escape the poverty mindset,
On corners begging for spare change.
But society can’t even seem to spare a tire.
Apathy is a ***** that keeps individuals desensitized and tired.
To speak facts breeds ire, such irony could melt iron and knees.
Words as sharp as tacks but anything but tactful.
But **** it gotta do what I gotta do to eviscerate the disease.
Won’t sit by and watch **** fly by like cattle.
That perpetuates brokenness and unfulfilled dreams.
How much to break a Benjamin?
An agony so dear to more than just Benjamin.
Just Ask Kendrick how much that dollar cost!
Economy don’t trickle down to the unwashed.
Many try to take the moral route,
But that’s a heavy cross.
Especially when meaning well goes against biased and racist laws.
Just look at the stir up Jesus caused.
Whether you believe in him or not.
Fact is; **** hasn’t changed for over 700 thousand years.
Sometimes I wish I could turn water in wine and drink with 700 thousand peers.
At the bottom of the bottle, the sum of all fears.
But drowning in our sorrows will only reap 700 thousand tears.

How much pressure till one hits their breaking point?
Some numb it all with pills or joints.
Others try to tone down the stress like some Joker, but end up like Heath Ledger.
Running with loaded guns, disappoint the masses like Cobain.
Can lose one’s life in a moment’s notice like Coltrane.
How much a life cost?
We all serve a life sentence, but what will our legacy be at the end of said sentence?
Do our actions increase or decrease our worth?
Is it enough for repentance?
I guess it depends on the intentions of one’s heart.
Guess we won’t know till we return to the dirt.
And break into rebirth.

So, why do indigenous people talk about white privilege when they get everything for free?

Actually that’s a false statement. Natives do not get everything for free. Honestly I don’t know where that came from. So, depending on one’s treaty a indigenous person might get say hunting/fishing rights or medical coverage, etc. However, like I said it’s dependent on treaty so some may not have medical coverage or other sort of benefits if you can call them that. Now usually I also get asked about getting lots of money from the government or my band. Now I do get money from the government but it’s not hundreds or millions of dollars. I get one cent per year for being indigenous. The money I get from my band comes from the oil found on reserves. The band can decide how to use that money and sometimes decides to give out a percentage to each person with status for those applicable for it. Which when oil was booming sometimes could equal anywhere from $300-$500. However, recently in years that has dwindled to anywhere between nothing to if we are lucky $200 per years and if we are really lucky twice a year usually in summer and in the winter. The only other benefits I get is if I go to the reserve I can get smokes and gas for cheaper usually about 50% off give or take. That it. Not to mention the land the colonists gave us was seen to be the crappiest land there was with no real value. It wasn’t till later that many of the left over pieces of land just so happened to have a commodity that was really valuable; that being oil. They tried to ***** us out but creator had other plans!

Got taken advantage of, it’s like I socked right in the jaw!
How could you have forgot? How could you have forsaken?
Man, it’s taken me till now to see all the flaws!
Which has set me off, Man maybe I ought to be mistaken?
Or maybe I did not consider my expectations of this seesaw?
The pendulum has shifted but why are your always the one benefitting?
The outcome has become wilted, the friendship tainted, maybe we weren’t blood brothers after all!
I don’t know I’m just venting, and I’m just trying to take a deep breath in…
Because I thought we were brethren but it looks like I actually opened a door for a heathen!
Happiness is dead and gone; I have become the third wheel man, for I just don’t belong.
Trying my best to stay strong, because the person I once knew is dead and gone!
Wondering what went wrong? Wondering if all this time I was nothing but a pawn?
Calling you up, ringing the door bell to ask what’s sup?
Even though you never called me up or went to my door to say what’s sup?
What’s up with that? Maybe I really was nothing more than a bath mat!
I thought our friendship could last. But a las there was too much contrast.

Sweat on the brow, full moon night howls.
Tread right down, but watch out for owls.
For You never know whose watching.
You never know who be snitching.
My girl gets on me, hooting and hollering.
Prying charlatans set off trying to make this my finale.
Some may cackle, but not me.
For I don’t see what’s so funny!
For only the lord knows if it’s my time honey.
I’m not in this game to have people love me.
I’m just a snot nosed demon, trained for a role that takes a toll.
But I gots foes breathing slowly, aiming and loading.
So, much for gun control.
Poker faces showing, villains and golems growling and prowling.
Brains being run on remote controls.
Fools whose souls might have honest and well intended goals.
But progress is hard when you’re already in a sinkhole.
With climate changing and rising, but when I speak up all people hear is Español.
Saying I should know my role and shut my mouth.
But you won’t shut me out!
Step too lightly, imma knock you out!
Give up? Is something I’m not about.
I’m not weak willed, because I never forget to drink my milk.
Ice cube said it best, because you gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself.
So if you front on me, boy that’s bad for your health!
This world is ours and we destroying it.
And don’t say you didn’t have a choice in it!
Because if you do, you bet imma call your *** out and claim *******!
What do you think? That your **** smells like roses?
What kind of dosage do you have to be on?
To not be aware of this crisis?
It’s not ******, and it’s not isis!
It’s all our faults that our environment is like this!
And it’s not the boogie man, and it’s not a Pegasus.
This is reality!
And Our world is truly dying!
And We are the virus.
But if we all stand together to fight this.
We just might have time to escape this.

Needless perfection!
No, place for me to fail!
The day I fail, is the day I end up in hell!
Trying obsessively to gain approval.
For father might beat me, if I don’t come home with that perfect score!

I must sustain, I must refrain from temptations.
Holy father, why was I burdened with this obligation!
However, I refuse defamation! For I must exceed these unattainable expectations.
Breaking down, bloodied and crying!
All the while my soul is dying!

Suffering, Suffering, perfection can be so damaging, damaging!
Muttering, muttering softly for I’m fearing the inevitable punishing, punishing!
Wondering, wondering if I’ll ever be free?
Won’t someone help me please!

Caged so long, I no longer remember what is was like to be flying!
Free birdy, chirping so happily.
While I'm sitting lonely as friends be looking so care free!
Wishing that were me!

Suffering, Suffering, perfection can be so damaging, damaging!
Muttering, muttering softly for I’m fearing the inevitable punishing, punishing!
Wondering, wondering if I’ll ever be free?
Won’t someone help me please!

Running outta time,
Running out of excuses.
It's the bottom of the ninth.
So, I really can't miss this!
Guess I found my spine.
Promise I’ll do whatever to maintain it!
I know I risked it all.
And I should've taken six.
As I really ****** up,
Cause I know that you're really ******!
Sleeping all alone, without you at home,
Left to wallow & reminisce.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Running outta time,
Running outta patience,
Think I lost my mind,
Got caught up in a spaceship.
I tell you that I’m fine,
But we both know that is some *******.
Guess I told a lie.
Is it too late to truly fix this?
When I told you, that you were mine.
Yet got caught up with some scant tricks.
I know I crossed that line.
When I decided to plug into that matrix.
Convinced myself that I needed to escape this.
Cause I Couldn’t see what I had until it was too late and I lost it!
****.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Look baby I just gots to know.
That you feels like you’se gots to go.
Cause **** ain't optimal,
What can I say?
***** I lost control.
Wait hold the phone.
Forgive the tone.
I'm just emotional.
And I want you home.
Just thought that you should know.
That I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that's as far as my words can go.
Best believe ***** personal.
Cause I hurt more than just your trust; I hurt your soul.
Soul…. Soul…. Soul.

Verse 1:

I wish I could say no strings attached,
But I’m a tangled mess.
Come into my playhouse, baby.
Ignore the webs.
Step into the minefield,
That was once my head.
I’m a darkened canvas,
But my visions red.
So, best tuck yourself in tightly,
Before going to bed.
You don’t want to tempt the monsters,
Who haven’t been fed.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Verse 2:
Now I’m gunning for you.
Twisted love is like pins and needles.
You’re the doll, I’m the voodoo.
I’m coming for you.
Dark afflictions baby, I crave for you.
Would savour the flesh,
Would savour each taste.
Till there’s nothing left,
Except for cake.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Bridge:
I’m a beast with no beauty.
No curse on me.
I’m a beast with no beauty.
Uncaged and hungry.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Verse 1:
Rising to top, but I ain’t gonna drop.
No,no,no,no I ain’t gonna drop!
Cause I’m sipping on success,
******* ******* on my private jet yeah, yeah.
Sipping on success, the grind never stops.
Get that tattooed on ya chest.
Facing every challenge, unable to be stopped.
No, no, no, no I cannot be stopped!

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Verse 2:
Hit the road Jack, if ya ain’t willing to step up to the bat.
But even you do, You never hit the level that I am at.
Sorry not sorry for the lack of sympathy.
All I gotta give ya is the smallest symphony.

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Bridge:
Haters gonna hate, uh haters gonna hate.
Unlike you I do not break, yawl too fragile, yawl too fake!
I pour my heart & soul into this ****.
& that hard work turned into grit.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Outro:
This journeys a hustle,
Some of yawl too soft.
Don’t understand the struggle,
That’s why I make hits and yawl make flops.

Some of the best rappers alive,
Yawl never heard of.
Some of my best friends I’ll never see again,
Went missing or got murdered.
Every day I tread water,
Ain’t got no life preserver.
Got built in strength yet still fragile,
Like a lavatera.
A gift passed on from era to era.
Like the bottled up emotions,
That one never spoke a word of.
Until like many I eventually exploded, was empty, so i fuelled my body with Henny.
****, now I gotta disorder.
Suicidal tendencies don’t discriminate or recognize borders.
And based on statistics I’d most likely end up an Alberta Warrior.
It might be the turn of the century,
Yet in terms of progress we haven’t even left the harbour.
My sister got in a bad accident yet it took hours to even see the doctor.
Had a concussion but they assumed she just consumed the fire water.
Almost lost another family member.
Because of the fact she was Indigenous,
The medical system didn’t even bother.

Through the trials and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight.

Even though there are days, I swear that the world grows darker.
Gotta watch out for that thief in the night,
Cause the devil ain’t no ordinary burglar.
He comes in all shapes and sizes,
Can present himself as vices.
Watched my fair share of those I loved,
Die from overdoses.
So, many holes to dig but not enough roses.
The snake even slithers his way into the services that are supposed to help us.
Maybe that’s why most cops don’t like us.
Cause they were struck by the devil’s virus!
Perhaps I’m just traumatized and on verge of becoming comatose.
Went to the doctor and was given an expensive trauma quote.
**** I meant medication.
Guess it’s cheaper to buy some dope.
Except I gotta deal with society viewing me as an abomination.
Either way I gotta pay to keep away these demons.
Wonder how long I’ll stay within this season?
I guess it could be worse?
I could be more like Job.
But comparing atrocities is as useful as counting crows.
Can’t dwell on these tragic comedies, I’d rather see the varied ways for hope.

Through the struggles and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight

Tranquility bestirs my antiquated heart.
Burdened reputation bestowed my gaze.
Trifle steps that flow like martial arts.
That defers my attention from your lies.
Idled mind; fooled by greener grass.
That brought forth jealousy to stir the ***.
The *** filled with lustful thoughts.
That hath tangled me in her grasp.
Like a cricket in a web.
I knew not to trust that black widow.
A las, I was bewitched by Medusa’s eyes.
This mistresses mischief brings sorrow.
That steals away more than just smiles.
I guess you can say;
Curiosity killed this cat nine times over.

Gotta get outta this negative mindset,
That got me wanting to try for the lotta,
Because it’s seems more realistic.
Yet ironically leaves me ending up as,
Just another statistic.

For my heart is like a piñata,
With my soul becoming as deserted as Nevada.
Downing down the bottle.
Smoking some marijuana.
In hopes for finding nirvana.
For right now, I feel more destroyed than Gomorrah and *****,
But perhaps that’s what I get for becoming a dragon,
Isolating and pushing away anyone,
Believing that I’m someone,
That deserves loving.
But to protect myself,
I end up starving.
For I’m Scared to heal what’s broken.
Got given opportunities, but instead of accepting what others were giving.
I went Trailing down a path of self destruction.
For the words of the past are still afflicting.
Got my mind believing the affliction of their poison.
Thinking I always have something to be proving.
Diving into the dens of lions,
Getting involved with vermin.
That ended with me in a prison.
However, my mind was in prison way before then.

Gotta get outta this negative mindset,
That got me wanting to try for the lotta,
Because it’s more realistic.
Yet ironically leaves me ending up as,
Just another statistic.

Women viewed as objects.
Men can't cry unless they're weak.
Women get paid less than men.
Men are on the front lines of war.
Women commercials convey 1950 views; that suggests women should stay in the house.
Men are looked as the villain when it comes to getting custody and in the eyes of the law.
Two-sides of the coin but we blinded cause we only see from our points of view.
We are all the victims so the problem must be with you?
But really we are our own problems for we caused this to be ingrained into society.
All because of cultural norms that were established thousands of years ago that only helps a minority of notoriety.

Born in a sinkhole,
Where money is made on petrol,
And geckos are plentiful,
So, best hope your names not geico.
This can truly be the life for…
Some.
Hold the beer, bring in the ***.
Thriving prostitution, right under God’s sun.
While the the streets flood with pollution,
Goodbye Captain Planet, end em with a gun.
A travesty that gets spun,
And put under the rug.
Along with other skeletons.
But as long as money flows,
The rich can keep eating beef Wellington.
Where most can’t dare to be themselves,
Like they May Sarton.
For those in poverty are deemed as burdens.
In a land of prosperity,
Yet got homeless people starving.
Sleeping.
In the streets,
If this land belongs to the meek,
Than why don’t they have a seat.
To the table?
Because those with privilege,
Are like Cain to their Abel,
Propaganda in tow,
Turning facts to fables.
It’s like Lao Tsu says:
Those who know do not speak.
And those who speak do not know.
So, how can we grow?
If we don’t water?
When friend turns to foe.
Where grass hides snakes and gaters.
If you want to find evil,
Follow the dough.
And if you want to find the traitor,
Look at who controls the labour.

Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!
Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!

I’m on that mountain.
Looking back at my past.
And I see..
The emotions that laid roots...
And I...
Reflect on my errors...
And I...
Move on my from there.

Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!
Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!

I’m on that mountain.
Smiling for the first time
And I...
Know it won’t be the last time.
And I...
Have gained some wisdom from my mistakes.
And I..
Am ready to go down to that valley again.

Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!
Ohhhh yeaaahh! Oooohhh yeah!

The colour of my dreams.
Stormy waters, mixed with ice cream.
Golden arches, colliding with rainbows.
Green pastures, filled with tomatoes.
Purple clouds, carrying scarlet roses.
Pink skies, with stars that look like oranges.
These are the colours of my dreams.
Coming together but also juxtaposing each other.
Is this a statement?
Of my mind, my subconscious?
Does it mean nothing?
Or is it just effects from eating wonky porridge?
Or is this some inspiration?
For a canvas my brush has not yet come across?
A blank slate, my tabula rasa.
A place to run free.
A place just for me.
The colours of my dreams.
Colliding with reality.
The colours of my dreams.
Washing over me.
Even if means nothing to you,
It’s real to me.
The expression of an artist,
The expression of their own unique creativity.

Jargon gets muddled, to mouth is to fumble, to ***** is to muggle.
Snitching means trouble, bragging meets knuckle, ego gets nuzzled.
Ten hut that’s a huddle, life is a struggle, especially for those that stay suckled.
Like Malcolm in the middle, might just go unstable,
So, best not pop my bubble!
Got to stay on your toes like Barney Rubble,
Can’t ever stay idle in the jungle!
Where desperados need the narcan,
Overdosing daily, organs go to the black market, **** what a bargain.
Indulge in the bourbon, might just light up a Cuban, if I die it’s outta my hands.
Welcome to the land of the ******,
Where no one has a long lifespan.
So, get sloushed; do a keg stand.
Yeah, yeah.
Gotta party up, it’s weekend.
Yeah, yeah.
Not much else to do when you’re drowning in the deep end.
Yeah, yeah.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Don’t get it twisted or entangled,
Name might be on a banner,
But it certainly ain’t star spangled.
Fame is a curse filled with idle chatter.
That’s slaps harder than a Will Smith scandal.
Where money is more vain than Jada.
Gee I don’t know Jane,
Perhaps we should be more like Greta.
Taking names like Andrew, is that dude even humane?
Narcissists are insane, especially those that believe they’re Alfa and Omega.
Get too full of yourself, might just end up worse than Ye.
Pride comes before the fall, man you should’ve known better.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Depression is like a dark cloud to my Eeyore,
That takes away my joy,
Like it was a **** repossession.
And just like Thor,
For so long I felt unworthy,
But maybe I just gotta endure some hardships,
To receive eternal glory.
Like it states in verse 2 of second Timothy.
Been writing verses even before therapy sessions,
Where my pain turned to lessons,
And those lessons turned to weapons,
But what matters is how you invest them.
So, tell me…
Will you die stressing or digesting?
When faced with barriers, that block ones progression?
I remember how…
I used to think my scars lessened my value,
Yeah, I used think tears weakened my value,
Thinking I was unworthy of a breakthrough.
But sometimes you gotta enter forests,
And battle terrain to attain a mountain view.

What would you say is you’re biggest fear?

Well, like most people I have a fear of spiders and heights. But if we are talking beyond sensation or feelings. It gets a bit convoluted.

What do you mean by convoluted?

Well my biggest fear is something that has been confirmed over and over again. Something a lot of indigenous people or people of colour face each day.

And what would that be?

Not being listened to or believed when we speak out.

Have any examples of this?

Yes, many actually but I’ll only cover a few.
In the education field when teachers or kids verbally abuse or bully you. It’s usually your fault, after all as a person of colour we usually get treated as less than human. I had a teachers call me a ***** or that I’ll never amount to anything. That I’ll end up on the streets homeless begging for change. But do these teachers lose their jobs when I speak out. No, because it’s a savages word against some white privileged *****.

Another example is in the work field.
I’ve faced verbal and physical abuse. I would come home crying every day. So many times I just wanted to die. As I face racism, sexism, micro-aggressions but I needed money. And when I spoke up I got told to toughen up and be a man or worst of all to get over it. Did the people in positions of power get fired when I spoke up? Nope. Did I experience more discrimination. Absolutely. It got so bad I convinced myself that it’s just normal to be abused and that I deserved it.

In society we have talked about the atrocities that have happened due colonialism such as the sixties scoop and residential schools.

Even now as it’s being brought to life with all the unmarked graves. Many either still refuse to believe it or they try to justify it or they still say to get over it. These examples are only a few, and I hope one day not just me but other people of colour can actually be heard and believed. For the trauma isn’t going away anytime soon.

And it kinda coincides with this idea. This lie. That when I speak up or out against things that are wrong no one listens…
And when no one listens,
It’s like what’s the point you know?
Than the lie creeps in and says “too just shut up, keep quiet, and stay silent.”
And that’s my biggest fear, giving in to lies; to stay silent. To be too afraid of sharing my story, my perspectives and my truth. To give into pessimism, cynicism and fatalism.

Unstructured fealty,
A tip toed fantasy,
Of uncultured humanity.
This is reality,
Where sugar plum fairies,
Only exist in dreams.
So, adrift it seems.
In myths and schemes.
In the midst of things.
That we truly believe,
Will make us happy.
But even with everything,
Why does the glass remain half empty?
Is life truly a tragedy?
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

Uncertain with deities.
After all, I might be an evolved manatee.
Or I might just be an anomaly.
Perhaps this is insanity.
Trapped in bodies,
Shamed depending on anatomy.
That’s determined randomly.
Not sure of what is or isn’t reality.
Spinning in circles,
Without stability.
Spinning in circles,
Bearing the weight of gravity.
A little dance I call depression and anxiety.
Taking substances to escape reality.
Going to a tip toed fantasy.
Filled with sugar plum fairies.
Just like in my dreams.
But dreams are brief,
Just like the substances.
Going back down a spiral of grief,
And a sense of emptiness.
Wondering where to find true happiness,
To be loved.
Man maybe life is a tragedy,
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

I’m losing control.
Twisting and turning on this river bed.
Consciousness falls over the cliffs edge.
My mood spins along with my emotions.
Tossing and turning.
Longing your touch.
Longing your kiss.
For without you I am empty.
Drifting in melancholy.

What can I say?
My addictions consumed me.
Lost direction on my journey.
The winds are blowing and I’m growing weary.
Nearly escaped this plain of existence along the way.
My existence has broken down when you chose to leave me.

But I don’t blame you.
No, I knew what I was doing.
For I was broken even before I ever met you.
But then you pieced me together.
And I thought I was whole.
I thought I was free.
Loving you, feeling safe when you were beside me.

But then I lost control.
Everything happened so quickly.
Now I’m alone once again.
Broken hearted looking over this river bed.
Drifting along in melancholy.
Longing your touch.
Longing your kiss.

Doomalate the formula, chemistry insane.
**** a hypothesis, lets pinky and the brain.
Combine with intensity, till madness turns sane.
Gotta break a couple backs, just ask Bane and Bruce Wayne.
Just like money doesn’t always solve problems, in fact it’s keeps many chained.
Like being being combined in a column.
Than Columbined.
Ain’t **** changed since 99.
**** will just keep receding like Derrick Whites hairline.
Till tensions blow up like Palestine.
I don’t mince meat or words just to appease your waistline.
Why can’t ya be more like Will smith by not swearing in ya lines?
Cause it helps me release my pent up aggressions instead of assaulting comedians!
Who knew the better role model for kids would be Eminem?

In this lyrical revolution, I’m Noah’s ark.
Floating over ya stone cold hearts.
That Think that I’m toxic, yet are the ones swimming with the sharks.
But I learned a long time ago there’s no use educating marks.

Deemed us as savages,
That’s how they branded us.
Numbered us off,
Like the holocaust.
Stripped of a heritage.
That’s how they divided us.
But when we speak we’re told to *******.
Left to Watch in horror as lives are lost.
Overdosing on drugs or getting shot.
Drinking the fire water to numb the trauma,
Of our salads being tossed.
By hands left unwashed.
Missing and murdered when’s the pain going to stop?
Tell me when the pains gonna stop?
Huh?
Hold up. I don’t think yawl awake enough!
And I ain’t talking if ya woke or not.
I’m talking bout opening up.
Wondering if yawl got hope or not?
Cause I’m truly broken up,
Survived off rice and ramen as youngen,
Yeah when we was broke as ****.
Raised by a single mother,
Dealt with Aces in her oven.
So, ya bet that statistics were dark as ****.
Uh! ****.

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

Trying to thrive through this wilderness,
With so many disadvantages.
Hard to speak the truth,
When they still try to silence us.
Hard to teach culture and language,
When they handcuff us.
Criminalized our identity and treated our beliefs as blasphemous.
Treated like Devil children,
That’s why the sent in the church to exorcise us!
Hard to create a movement or protest,
When the government treats us as domestic terrorists.
Colonial law and the Indian Act,
Still keeps many powerless.
It’s hard to be proud,
When all they do is shame and blame us.
Ironic isn’t it?
But as they say…

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

The black ooze dripping off your tongue,
That auroramtic ash, spilling out your lungs,
They blind me.
They bind me.
To the very toxic desires.
That drown me.
Flushing away the offspring.
My future, because I don’t believe anyone…
Can love me!
And I can’t speak out.
Because when I do…
All I hear is laughing.
If laughter is the medicine.
Than why is it killing?
Ripping off my flesh!
Till my heart succumbs to the freezing.

Eating away at my soul!
How can I let go?
I’m losing control!
I wanna to quit, I want to let go!
But all you chose to hear…
Are the cries of a ******!

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

Will I ever find peace?
Living in a house that is not my home.
Like korn, I feel like I’m a freak on leash.
Got to suppress the demon with cortisone.
If only life was a beach, instead of a *****.
Thought **** would change, as soon as I got rich.
I used all my cards, but still gotta go fish!
My heads in the clouds and my joy’s in the ditch.
Man, can I ever find rest?
Feeling like a mouse, just squeaking on by.
Try to do my best.
Until I ultimately fail and go get high!
Cycle of trauma reverberated.
Leading those close to me feel devastated.
Who knew the lust and vices,
Would lead to self-hatred?

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

Some people stylize they looks,
While other try to stylize over truth,
Journalism so biased to get yawl hooked.
File that under dramatized goofs.
You might think I’m aloof,
Saying come on man, wheres the proof.
Whilst the government spying on me from roofs.
Portraying my conspiracies as lunacy.
**** a minority is ok, as it’ll never be on the breaking news.
**** a white man, everyone paying attention which accumulates more views.
Disproportionate abuse, yet the top dogs always come up with excuses.
But after all the enemy came down to earth to confuse us.
Tattoos and taboos, everyone hopping on the bandwagon like they a ******* kangaroo.
Keeping issues about racism on snooze.
It doesn’t take zoboomafoo to see that our system is *******.
What ever happened to trying to look at life from another persons shoes?
How is it that some people don’t believe what ****** did to the Jews?
Whose to blame?
Is it our schools?
Is it our societies constant retreat to the status quo?
Is it the propaganda engrained within cartoons.
Like something from 1968 ****** tunes.
Who really knows.
Trojan horses looking all innocent yet are actually hiding foes.
And you might think ya sly, but really your racist views are as blatant as Rudolph’s nose.
You’d think in this day and age this **** wouldn’t fly.
But here we are, surviving off martyrs bones.
Putting holes in anyone who opposes the current mode.
Freedom is nice when you actually have the controls.
Instead of being probed by aliens in ufos.
I call the upper class aliens because I feel like they must not have souls.
Doing whatever they can to remain on their iron thrones.
Scanning and monitoring us with ******* drones.
The match has been lit, with a new enlightenment ready to explode.
For it just takes one to fall, to knock the others off their toes.
One after the other like dominos.
It’s time to shake up our reality like an etch a sketch.
It’s time to draw up a new system that will be a better and equitable match.
That will patch things up nicely, and hopefully create an impactful splash.
That will give opportunities for everyone to have a chance to climb up the branch.

Don’t get too hasty,
Bout to enter East Hastings.
Feeling shaky.
With fear overwhelming me.
Worrying about my safety. (X2)
Uh, never thought I’d end up here,
Never thought I’d see a place that would bring me to tears.
That would bring me to my knees,
Yeah yeah yeah!
Bring me to my knees.
Thinking lord please,
Help these people, help these streets!
Lord please!
Help this make sense to me!
For I don’t understand what I’m seeing.
I can’t believe the extent of this poverty.
The extent of additions that have destroyed so many families.
The extent of people begging or sleeping on these streets.
Oh I can’t believe.
No, I can’t believe.
In a land where we are free.
Yet seeing people starving.
Starving for another fix.
Starving for a glimpse of hope,
Yet thinking this is as good as it probably gets.
Or that they should just call it quits.
For our government keeps giving them the slip,
And our society keeps calling for a blitz.
But a lot don’t notice,
Because the media has gotten really good at putting on the ritz.
Saying don’t get too hasty, don’t get too hasty.
After all the problem is that they are lazy, ******* lazy.
And trying to help those people some how makes us crazy.
So, then I guess ever social worker must be crazy?
Or it is more crazy, to oppress and shame a group of people?
Or treating them like property.
Blocking pathways to freedom,
Chaining them down,
And here I thought we had abolished slavery?
****.
Don’t get too hasty,
Bout to enter East Hastings.
Feeling empathy.
With sadness overwhelming me.
Worrying about their safety. (X2)

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save the weak!

Chains clatter along,
Jesters distract them all,
The mindless trot to song,
That is like a sweet wine; filled with lies.
Justice crucified.

Blood runs like a stream.
Cleansing everything.
Of supposed toxicity.
Got to look beyond the schemes.
Where the devil lurks beneath.

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save the weak!

Hunger pains the wolves.
Scrounging animals.
A desire unfulfilled.
No matter how much one kills.
Bodies are hollow shells.

The smell of rotting flesh.
That has befallen all,
Trapped within a hex,
That is comforting as is draining.
At the same time.

The beggars bend the knee,
To foolish dignity,
God will save the king.
But who will save the weak?
Who will save weak!

Verse 1:
Times slipping away,
Like pockets full of sand.
I am just a man,
Oh, I am just a man.
Someday you’ll understand.
Someday we’ll meet again.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 2:
Every dog has his day,
All bones will decay.
The flesh will betray.
But no matter how fast one runs,
They can’t get away.
No, they can’t get away.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 3:
The angels serenade,
Ashes entombed by clay.
Carried by a tear filled parade.
What a somber day,
What a somber day.
But don’t worry child; it’ll be okay.
It’ll be okay.

Bridge:
You can hold me in your heart,
I’ll never let go,
Till we meet again,
Down the road.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

They drag my name through mud,
Yet I Persevere!
They kick me while I’m down,
They spit on my body,
They call me names, bully and slander me.
Yet I Persevere!
They mock my heritage,
They think it’s funny to dress as me.
They abuse me in all four directions.
Yet I Persevere!
They **** my people,
They make sure we end up missing,
Than they tell me I’m next.
Yet I persevere!
They say I’ll never amount to anything,
They racially profile me,
Than they tell me to get over it,
Yet I Persevere.
I will always persevere,
No matter what you throw at me.
I will persevere!

Sometimes **** doesn’t go your way,
It’s like I prefer to make it harder on myself,
Cause I prefer to take the longest way.
Yet also gotta find time for self help, even if you’re;
Pressed for time every gosh **** day,
Never will hear me say the lords name in vain.
Even though I’m a sinner, I know there’s room for change.
And yes I’m a swearer; to my moms disdain.
But we all fall short, cause we’re all humane.
And until that final court day, I must maintain!
Cause I don’t do **** halfway!
Got to make the most of this life,
Even if it’s a bit risqué!

Go ahead and seize the day!
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Call it carpe diem,
Might just slide into your dm’s,
Might just sky dive next weekend!
Hell I might just start casting out demons!
Only God can take me,
Or get me kneeling.
I’m done being stuck in the mud!
It’s bout time for healing!
I’m done being suffocated,
It’s bout time I start breathing.
Give thanks and a prayer than dive back in the deep end.
To help others that be drowning.
Gotta make a stand for those,
condemned by the world.
Unwilling to lend a hand.
So, I gotta do my part to help them…

Go ahead and seize the day.
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Embers of fire cast out like ghosts.
As crickets chirp through the night.
Enjoying this time with you.
Under the moon.
Siping sweet nectar.
Reminiscing.
Kindred spirts intertwined.
Used to be lost.
Until I was found.
Was a monster.
Everyone always running out my life.
Was a monster.
Until you entered my life.  
And stayed.
But it was a different feeling for me.
I even tried to push you away.
Because I felt unworthy.
Because monsters can’t have happily ever afters.
At least that’s what I thought.
Isolated myself from relationships.
In my cave of despair.
Thought no one cared.
Until you entered my life.
Like a kindred spirit.
You understood me.
You didn’t fear me.
And that felt as refreshing as cold mountain water.
And as unlikely as it seems,
Not only did a beauty fall in love with this beast.
But a Beast fell in love with a beauty.
I thought a chance for love was extinguished.
But like embers of fire we were cast out like ghosts.
As crickets chirp through the night.
Enjoying this time with you.
Under the moon.
Siping sweet nectar.
Holding hands with you.
Embracing you.
When two kindred spirits become intertwined.
You know magic is still alive.
I used to be lost,
But then I was found.
And I’m glad you found me.
Believed me.
And helped me believe in love.

Drip, drip, drip.
Sip after sip after sip,
Drowning in a regret,
A stench that breathes desperation.

Drip, drip, drip.
Sip after sip after sip,
Slurring, muttering gibberish.
With some spiteful vinegar.
A sharp knife that digs in the skin of loved ones.

Puff, puff, puff.
Watching you drift, drift, drift.
Till the lungs turn black.
No turning back.

Praying, praying, praying.
Seeing the pain in your eyes.
With regret that clings like a noose to your neck.
It’s can be hard dealing with an addict.
Especially when they are your parent.

Seeing, how addiction has truly affected my family.
Unable to change their behaviour.
Only having the ability to watch as they are consumed with numbing.
But never satisfied once they come back to reality.
So, they stick with it because it becomes their only comfort.
A blanket in a world so cold.

Watching, listening, crying.
On my knees forgiving for the pain you inflicted me with.
A guy who hates his father,
When he’s exactly like him!
But I refuse to let offence, anger and pain spiral me into a position.
Of victimization.
Where my kid dismisses me or hates me.
And although I love my Father,
That doesn’t mean I have to always like him.

Love and a Hug
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
I don’t wear a mask,
Yet I feel like such a fake.
This is a sad story,
Of a boy as fragile as a paper plate.
Who longs to be merry like Kate.
And dreams about marrying a girl,
But that girl would rather date Blake.
What kind of name is Blake?
Why it always some guy named Blake?
Maybe it’s because I don’t climb mountains.
That’s why girls always tell me to take a hike.
They say love is a tightrope,
But I’m afraid of heights.
Yeah.
They say love is a highway,
But I’m like a deer in the headlights.
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
This is a story of a boy,
Who may be grown up.
But isn’t quite a man.
A story that is real,
And oh, oh, oh, sad.
A boy who never fully learned.
From the experiences that he had.
A boy who grew up without a dad.
Yet still became like him,
Because to his son he is a nomad.
A person never really there.
Who wonders if he cuts his wrists,
Would his father even care?
A boy who feels like Bon Jovi,
Because he’s living on a prayer.
Wondering how to repair,
What’s broken but isn’t there.
While trying not to the succumb,
The temptations of a beer,
That would temporarily make his pain disappear.
But knows it’ll just lead to the continued,
Cycle of despair.
So, instead he went to therapy,
To combat the dragons lair.
A story turned to redemption,
By shifting gears.
And there may be times,
That I still need some love & a hug.
But that’s okay because I’m not perfect.

Lord hold me.
For I feel weak.
Lord help me.
I can’t even speak.

The words of my heart are scattered,
They say you care for me more than the birds,
Yet I’m bruised and battered.
I’m so weary and scared.
Stripped bare,
To the bone.
Sometimes I feel so alone.
Had so much pride,
But now I’ve fallen like Rome.
Had thoughts of suicide,
Wanted to put a gun to my dome.
I was so angry and depressed,
Wondering why you wouldn’t give me rest.
If this were a test,
I can’t really say I’ve done my best.
For my flesh is weak,
Got me sinning every day of the week.
Wondering how I could enter church,
With ***** feet?
And I’m sorry lord,
That all I seem to do is complain and weep.
But it feels like I’m a lost sheep.
It like I’ve been rowing in a river,
While my boat leaks.
Pretending that my own hubris doesn’t reek.
As I’m cursing your name,
While viewing salvation like it was an antique.

Lord hold me.
For I feel weak.
Lord help me.
I can’t even speak.

The thoughts in my mind grow murky,
Drinking fire water but yet I’m still thirsty,
Thinking I can quench this thirst,
With *******.
Believing I can quench this thirst,
Without you there filling me.
With your love, joy and peace.
God help me be released.
From this beast,
That eats away at my soul.
Tricking me like I’m a fool.
And for the longest time I was a fool,
For faking myself in order to fit in with what society says is cool.
Started breaking rules,
Hanging out with friends who always be skipping school,
As I yearned for acceptance.
So, I shook hands with the temptress.
Dancing around in circles,
Avoiding any progress.
Was too dizzy to focus,
Giving up my blessings to the locusts.
As I grew hopeless,
You renewed my purpose.
Knowing that all along...

You were holding me,
When I was weak.
You were helping me.
Giving me the chance to speak.
Life into death.
So, Lord May I never lose sight,
As long as I have breath.

Welcome to the jungle, t-dogg and me be going prehistoric on this **** so get ready to rumble.
Now Dumbo, please excuse me for being blunt, but I will not be seen with precocious little runts.
I'm just here to stunt, this is not a front, so back off because I am not a man to confront.
I'm on the hunt for real people to be on my team, not fakers or sell outs that have as much taste in music as a Lima bean.
I'm pretty keen on that, so better lean on back if I deem you as just another phony hack.
Independent future star, classy j the future class, better believe that I will make it far.
Blasting off like a shooting star, just getting started yet I'm already setting the bar.
Native and proud, standing up and helping my people's voices finally make some sound.
So get on up, and be loud, don’t let people shut you down, never let yourself be deceived by wicked clowns.

(T-dogg)
I hear you classy j, loud and clear, and I hope the day draws near for people to just love and not hate or fear.
When in the jungle, things can become real trouble, and the whole system can turn to rubble.
Sometimes your best bet is to only trust in you, because people are fickle,
And if your not careful they will ***** with you.
There is a lot of change to go through, don't let others or yourself cage you in like you was in a zoo.
Be free; never ever lose sight of who you want to be.
This is your shot, your moment, your opportunity;
I believe everyone got it in himself or herself to help rebuild not just themselves but also their community.
The jungle can thrive; we just need to come alive.
We just need to take a chance, after all isn’t life just one big dance?
So come on and pull up your pants, time to shake things up;
I believe that this life we live, weren’t given to us just by chance.

(Classy J)
This is the jungle; all are welcome here to thrive, because we as humans need each other to survive.
Not a time to point fingers, not a time to let offense continue to linger. This is a time to be a singer, a time to be dreamer, and a time to be a speaker.
You can do it, you just have to be an eager believer.
Rise up, time is never up, who cares if you fail once or twice as long as you never give up.
Raise the meter, you will never get what you truly want and be happy with it if you become a cheater.
You can try to cheat life, but you can’t cheat death, you just have to go step-by-step, and breath-by-breath.
Keep moving; keep grooving, with a positive attitude I believe your mood and self-esteem will keep on improving.
Welcome to the jungle, welcome to a fresh start, don’t get pig headed, and please keep yourself a humbled heart.