I just can’t breathe,
This world is so cold man,
Sometimes I just can’t believe.
For so long I’ve been so afraid man.
To open up about what it’s like to live in a world filled with hate.
Sometimes I dream about making a great escape.
For I just feel imprisoned,
Which is ironic when society treats me like I’m some ape.
If only I could eat at the same table and eat the same food on nice plates.
As those who never think twice,
Of the privilege that obscures their vision like the three blind mice.
I guess it’s too much to ask for a voice,
Just a product of my environment,
Do I really have a choice?
I’ve had to fight for my slice,
Graduated in 16 yet once I step outside I lose all my civil rights.
This **** ain’t right,
That racism still persists like how the **** does society sleep at night?
It’s like everyday is nightmare,
And people in power they don’t fight fair.
I’m a God fearing man yet somehow my skin colour gives police a scare,
Knock my out *** without remorse or even a care.
And if they choose to shoot me or strangle me how does that restore peace or rapport?
Like all your going to accomplish is a ******* race war!

I’ve become addicted to an image,
I could never full grasp,
Heart is hollow,
With my mind spinning,
Running laps.
Wondering how long,
It’ll take for me to collapse.
Don’t tell me to relax,
I thought I was through all this ****,
But it comes back to haunt me,
On medication,
To dull out the empty.
The emptiness that lives inside.
That almost lead me down a path of suicide.
A shame embedded deep inside.
An anxiety that tried to hide.
Within a fake smile.
Telling you that I’m okay.
When I wasn’t.
I’m sorry for that.
My brain has become a tangled web.
And I’m not sure if I can untangle it.
It’s like the Two sides of my soul have been caught up in an entanglement.
****.

Addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Temptation was the ecstasy,
That left me in imprisonment.

Yeah I was addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Wonder I could snap back to reality.
And beat this ****?

It’s like every-time I try to escape,
I end up having a relapse,
Who knew that lust packs a punch?
That has turned my brain to mush,
That is always looking for a rush,
Can this stain on my heart,
Ever be washed?
I ask myself,
As I sit and wonder,
For one can hibernate all they want,
But that doesn’t take away the hunger.
Wish I wasn’t so foolish when I was younger.
For when I look in the mirror now,
All I see is a monster.
Was taught respect women,
Yet here I am an imposter.
That if he’s honest,
Doesn’t even honour himself.
Is told he is amazing and funny.
Yet he can’t see his own wealth.
If only people could see his struggles with mental health.
And the trauma that has been dealt.
Which doesn’t excuse the behaviour,
Of a sinner who is...

Addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Temptation was the ecstasy,
That left me in imprisonment.

Yeah I was addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Wonder I could snap back to reality.
And beat this ****?

Face without personality.
Blank as Eternity.
The only creativity comes from other sources.
Devoid of rationality; only follows what others say and do.  
Offended over the truth, so instead denies it.
Makes me wonder if A.I. has truly taken over?

Imha, im, im Hahaha! (X6)
Are you ready to play a game?
Are you willing to sacrifice?

Whole worlds spinning!
And I keep thinking?
Why do I keep on breathing?
With corruption seeping!
But the sheep just keep on drinking!
Eating up all these toxins.
Blinding our eyes!
Poisoning our lungs.
Both the old and the young.
Strung up like puppets!
Corporations our masters.
Heading towards a natural disaster.
Thinking we’re Gods!
But That’s only true in the sense that we **** each other!

Are you kidding me?
Are you hearing me?
Suspended in disbelief!
Will destruction ever cease?
Will we ever escape this leash?
Brethren don’t you see?
We are the true disease!

Imha, im, im Hahaha! (X6)

This goes out to my favourite aunty, I love you, and I hope you don’t get upset that I’m going to talk about you taking lots of pills.  
I just want you to know that you matter to me, and I don’t hate you, it’s just I don’t like what the drugs have done to you.
So without further delay, here we go.

Yeah, aunty and me had so many good times through the years,
But when you got hooked on pills, you changed and it puts me to tears.
You're so strong and powerful, but now you forget things, and you wobble when you walk.
I know you’ve heard it all before but it hurts me to see you struggling to walk.
Always be giving me money, even if I don’t want or need it, but you say I’m a growing boy and that I should keep it.
Got me hooked to creamers, that day we were at a bus stop on the north side, got so many ***** looks because it was in a brown paper bag that we gleefully drank and didn’t attempt to hide.

People always wonder why I don’t do drugs or have a problem with it, so I tell em that I seen the horrible effects it has put on my family and that I will never roll with it.
Plus I hate the smell of smokes or ****, ever since I was born man, I knew it was something that I didn’t want or need.
Coping mechanisms, drowning down reality in toilet, life is hard man.
I don’t judge anyone that turns to drugs as a safety net.
I’m just saying that it will hurt you and your family if continue doing it.
You might end up in jail, get your kids taken away, or end up in the grave when you choose to give into it.
Addictions are hard to fight, and get out of...
You can even start to forget about what really matters,
As you are so selfish or desperate to get your fix,
Not caring how many snakes you battle or how much you have to climb those ladders.
Popping pills, rolling up, drinking till you pass out, why do addictions have to be so deceptively beautiful?

But end up so disastrous that you’ll end up in an endless cycle that you may never get out.
Society does not help either, they say it’s ok and good to get high; to sleep with whatever or whoever.
With the lie's that say "it’ll never happen to you",
"You’re invincible,"
"Just enjoy that moment, that everlasting high."
"Drink and party, buy that brand new Ferrari with your credit card, you don’t have to pay right now."
Spending until you can never pay it back, wondering how you ended up in debt and what to do now.
Ancestors died for freedom, we dying for peace and momentary happiness.
Not knowing how to adult or deal with you’re endless depression and sadness.
Plus the Government won’t help you,
Invisible hand is an imaginary deserter,
Watching as you slowly push away your friends and family away for that high.

Not everyone grows up in the best of situations,
But that doesn’t mean you can’t try to make yourself live in a better situation.
It’s your life, your choices, your consequences, and I should know because I had to deal with my selfless ideas and their enviable consequences.
My auntie’s, uncles and my dad’s mom died when they were young, and their dad was in jail.
They had to find food and shelter to survive, and I bet that was a hard thing to do when your so young.
Not surprising though, being that the residential schools did a number on native people.
Which left the next generation not knowing how to be real authentic loving people.
I will never know that kind of struggle,
But I know that we start that change by working on ourselves,  
Before we can try to heal the next generation.
Instead of sulking in what has transpired in the past.

We must move forward.  
We must do something about it, so that it can be better.
Idle no more, speaking out, becoming a person, intergrading with other cultures again.
That’s how you can stand out.
Nothing will change if don’t do anything to change it.
Know your worth, and believe that you're worth it.
Don’t become just another stereotype or statistic!
Strive to be more than what others think;
Nothing is impossible as long as you stay optimistic.

Starving for a lost knowledge,
Invisible to those with privilege,
Wanting support, needing a hand up,
Need a balance for my core, without looking for handouts.
Need acceptance, in a world where I face rejection.
Wanting knowledge to use as a weapon against discrimination.

Tranquil melodies swing back and forth,
Peaceful fairies spring like flowers bloom.
Faithful gnomes protect ones house.
From vengeful spirits with razor filled mouths.

Wonderful bliss, if only I wasn’t locked up like this.
Oh, how I miss those sweet kisses from Ms.Sun.
Those gentle breezes that rock me to sleep.
Or the green pastures that blankets my falls.

It’s time to rip off the band-aid,
And explore possibilities.
The destination doesn’t matter.
What’s fun is the mystery.

It’s time to rip off the band-aid.
And dance like no one is watching.
Who cares what others think.
As long as you are having fun.
Your moment has just begun.

It’s time to rip off the band-aid.
And paint that blank canvas.
With a parade of colours.
That could cover all of Kansas.

It’s time to rip off the band-aid.
Take that leap of faith.
Don’t wait till some day.
For tomorrow could bring death.
So, go and do it.
Before you regret it.

A nervous gitty feeling in my chest,
A feeling of butterflies.
When I see her my world stops.
Trying to find the courage to ask her out.
But not sure how as my dad was never around.
To teach me “how to be a man”.
Even when he is anything but...

However, I can’t help but too daydream,
Of a version who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable.
A person unafraid of rejection.
Because it feels like rejection is all that I know.

The only person who had my back is my mother,
Through my darkest of times,
And my highest of highs.
Teaching me to be myself and treat women with respect.

So, who knows maybe that is the only advise I need.
To gather strength to ask coffee girl out.
Yes, I don’t even know her name.
Nor she know mine.

But I gotta step up,
And take that step,
Even if I can’t see the bridge.
I’m willing to take that leap of faith.

Just smile, just smile.
Smile your pain away, smile your pain away.
Just smile, just smile.
Like everything is ok.
When it’s not.

They tell me to smile,
When I’m broken,
They tell me to cheer up,
Without my pills for depression.

They say why the long face?
But aren’t willing to hear me when I say I’m not doing ok.
They say life is marathon.
But I never registered for no race.

It’s hard for me to explain.
It’s like every time I fake a smile.
I feel like crying because I know it’s a farce.
And I’ve tried hiding, but that pushes me closer to the end of my rope.
And I feel like jumping, because a part of me has lost hope.
And I know you don’t want to hear it.
At least until it’s to late to listen.
Which will make you wonder if you could’ve done more to stop it.

I tried for too long to push down these emotions.
Because society says having feelings isn’t very manly.
That I should be a tin man with no heart.
A scarecrow without brains.
And a lion with no courage to speak up.
And it’s not enough to just go home.
And believe everything is all good.
When it’s not.

If only we could talk,
If only we could have these conversations.
Maybe my mental health would start to become more stable.
If only we could talk,
If only we could be honest for once.
Maybe suicide wouldn’t be as a big of an issue today.
If only when we ask someone how they are doing.
We can reply that we are not doing ok.
And there won’t be judgement or fumbling to change the topic.
Because if we never address the problem, how can we ever expect it to go away.
If only we could love and encourage others who are struggling.
Then maybe people will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel again.

Just smile, just smile.
Smile your pain away, smile your pain away.
Just smile, just smile.
Like everything is ok.
When it’s not.

Suffering silently smelling sulfur.
Sliding steadily; shelter shaken.
Seldom staredown, singing selfish songs.
Sickly sociopath; studies stooges.
Soft sight; spotless simpleton.
Sets suns, shapes shadows.
Seldom shows sentimental secrets.
Sips spirits, sainthood slain.

If I was white,
Would they believe me?
If I was white,
Would they finally see me?

When I was abused,
Would I have gotten help?
Instead of being refused,
They would’ve checked for the welts.
When I’d go shopping,
I wouldn’t worry about security flocking,
Checking on me, thinking I’m stealing.
Wondering when they’ll be kneeling,
On my throat, unable to keep breathing.
Becoming the next George Floyd.
But being native, it probably won’t be in the tabloids.
Oh ****, Canada may become annoyed.
Get over it, no longer will we be trapped in your void.
Our voices will be heard,
No longer will we be ignored.
So, if I got to stir some pots,
They’ll be stirred.
You may think it’s chaos,
But like they say, you live and die by the sword.

But...
If I was white,
Would they believe me?
If I was white,
Would they finally see me?

If I went missing,
Would they actually try to find me?
If I became homeless,
Would they actually lend me money?
Well they probably would if I were white,
Or if I was actually seen as a human with basic civil rights.
But sadly I’m native,
Someone that is seen as an inconvenient plight.
After 500 years you’d think, we wouldn’t continue being treated like parasites?
But if I was a foster child,
Would I be adopted?
If I was being threatened,
Would I be Protected?
Well they probably would if I were white,
Or if I was actually seen as a human with basic civil rights.
But sadly I’m native,
Someone that is seen as an inconvenient plight.
After 500 years you’d think, we wouldn’t continue being treated like parasites?

But...
If I was white,
Would they believe me?
If I was white,
Would they finally see me?

A sickly reaction,
That causes some caution.
Where brains have snapped like twigs.
A death as sweet as a fig.

In the hollow night,
Where the true terrors hide in plain sight.
A gripping despair,
With the inner monster appearing in the mirror.

A devilish figure,
With fingers sharper,
Than the sickle of the grim reaper.

As it draws closer.
Flowers wither.
As it draws closer.
Ready to devour my fear.
That to him is a gravy type flavour.

As I stare into its bottomless abyss for eyes.
I hear other souls that have been consumed cry.
As I stare into those dismal eyes.
I know I can’t escape.
For it’s presence leaves me paralyzed.

With a breath that blankets me,
In a cold embrace.
As its shadow slowly consumes me.
My last thought lingers inside my happy place.

Light peaks through the darkness,
Shadows steadily retreat,
Peace returns.
A calm drifts softly down,
Like rose petals.
From a tree wiser than all my years combined.

Such sweet nectar,
Wealthier than all the gold in Asgard.
Such beautiful blossoms.
One of the many forms of wisdom.
Grown from light and darkness.
What fruit will I harness?
What blossoms shall I possess?

True chief solo, roll the leaf ya shrew,
Don’t be such a wino.
Skewed relief always tempo, don’t burn the beef, unless ya want a well done ******.
Got demons in my shadow, ready to pull the trigger on any sucker, that tries to trample on my rose.
Spin dash past these haters even if I gots my eyes closed.
I am ahead of my time, *****, these lyrics paint the sky, **** Beethoven I’m the truest maestro.
That’s about to go viral, so best hide your wives, daughters and your side ***’s.
Don’t require no recital Pedro, I spit raw lyrics as blood thirsty as kano.
Fatality.
I could shadow box with the gods, watch as the cosmos shake.
Could give a ya type two diabetes, the type of **** that make ya girls legs quake!
Every breath I take, every move I make literally shifts the tectonic plates.
I’m a weapon inside and out the bedroom, I’m a villain with devilish tastes.
Add fuel to the culture, watch as the witches, woke yokels, and haters get set ablaze!
This a new era *****, so ya best behave!

Hook:
It’s a new era, same scars, same villain,
Heart cold, but the fire stay drillin’.
New stage, but I still be playin’ the opposition,
Dominate the world, got to stick to the vision.

They try to rewrite me, but I’m still authentic,
Pain in my veins, every line’s embedded.
New era, same fight, I’m still winnin’,
You can change the time, but I’m still the same villain.

Struggling with love,
As I fumble through it,
Not fully sure if there is a man above.
But I’ll get through it.

Father was all out of love,
But I grew accustomed to it,
Was caged like a dove,
Till I broke through it.
Shattered the glass ceiling,
Because I said ***** it.
My heart was reeling,
Got married then divorced before I knew it.
Wish I could leave it all behind,
But my trauma keeps me stuck in it.
Sometimes I wish I could rewind,
The time my heart took leadership from my mind.
For I always was chasing love because I never had it,
Thought I found the perfect magician but now all I’m left with is a rabbit.
With negative self talk becoming a habit.
If looking for love was a drug,
I’d be a crack addict.
For my self-worth was mugged,
Got my swerving into oncoming traffic.
At least then my death could be like my birth; ******* tragic.

For I’m...
Struggling with love,
As I fumble through it,
Not fully sure if there is a man above.
But I’ll get through it.

Hands clasped buried beneath the rubble.
Love has run cold.
Faces flushed with dried tears.
Flags burned to match everything else.
Cries muffled by bombs and gunshots.

These are dark days Indeed.
Perhaps death is the only time we are truly free.
Free from the pain inflicted by those so insane.
Everyone is either starved of food or from humanity.
War sure is a terrible thing

Dark clouds in my mind.
Abstract pictures of a life kept confined.
Shredded like the love I once hoped to find.
Got Distracted, was blinded, and got guided by the reaper.
Such a empty grasp.
As empty as my ******* glass.
Tremor shakes my once stable foundation.
Been an anomaly since creation.
Used to be so involved with socialization.
Till I was Driven to the point of isolation.
Watching society crumble apart.
Watching as the rich turn humble.
Watching prophesy become more than a just simple fable.
Bitter facts like that of a fig tree.
Human flesh, yet I got diseased bones inside of me.

Angel turned necrophor.
Father reaper passes on his curse.
That turns a once holy man bitter full.
That overflows my glass,
That once was half whole.
But now has turned into a poison pool.

Suspended like a rotting corpse.
Hanging by the neck of course.
Hope becoming a dark horse.
For I’m just an angel turned necrophor.
So be careful boy!
When it comes for the time to be knocking at your door.
Will you be fearful or satisfied?
When the time runs out for your soul?

Watching society crumble before my eyes.
Yeah I’m Watching as the rich turn humble.
Watching prophesy become more than just a simple fable.
Bitter facts like that of a fig tree.
Human flesh, yet I got diseased bones inside of me.

For I’m just Angel turned necrophor.
Father reaper passes on his curse.
That turns a once holy man bitter full.
That overflows my glass,
That once was half whole.
But now has turned into a poison pool.

Just an angel turned necrophor.

(Verse 1)

I know I ain’t no optimist, but yet I’m still in my prime!
Rolling out with the fellas & ****** **** is so divine.
Chalking up some game with some chicas who be looking hella fine.
Living our lives while our other brothers be serving time.
But that’s the life we chose, a mirrored reflection of the time we hold.
Is the soul transferrable?
Is our fate truly set in stone?
Is there a heaven for a G? Tell me; I’d like to know!
I feel the weight of the world; still, I carry it with pride,
Battling these demons that be creeping up inside.
The system’s rigged against us, but we hustle, we survive,
They want to see us fall, but we rise resiliently with our middle fingers held high!

Is there redemption for a sinner when the story’s already halfway told?
Do we answer for our sins when the universe implodes?
Questions in my mind as I walk this lonely road,
Still searching for the light, though my heart is turning cold…
But in this life, we were never guaranteed any ******* gold.
Good thing God created me a gangster cause gangsters are raised to be resilient and bold!

God created me a gangster who craved straight-up lyrism within my soul!
You have to hustle and grind, and you have to stay vigilant when they put you on parole.
You have to keep your head up and push through it, just like the late great Nat King Cole!
Pray no matter what, not just when things are feeling low!
God created you a gangster man, so start acting like it pendajo!

In all the commotion,
You just got to grove on down,
No lack for motion.
Speeding on by, like a locomotive.

Got to let those blues,
Be subdued,
Indulge in the groove,
It will uplift your mood.

In a world so divided,
Let love move you forward.
You got to find the composition,
To find your own rhythm.

You just gotta...
Let those blues,
Be subdued,
Indulge in the groove,
It will uplift your mood.

Let the rhythm guide you,
Through the ups and downs,
Let the rhythm remind you,
With reassuring sounds.

My heart is swelling,
Inflating like a balloon,
Soon, I hope my love will reach you.

Soaring high in the sky,
Fluttering like a bird,
Free from the world.
That tries so hard to chain me down.

You are my everything,
You keep me a flight,
I feel like a kite in your embrace.

Feelings drifting through the summer breeze,
Seizing the day ,
Then, after kissing under the moon.

Howling out our love.
Howling with all our might.
That all the world will hear.
But we don't care,
As we soar through the air.
You are my Lois,
Let me be your Superman.

You were like a dove,
Flying above,
Soaring through my dreams.
It’s like I was living in a fantasy.
That wouldn’t end.
But, one can only pretend for so long.

And I used to think,
you were the one for me.
And I used to think,
We were perfect,
But I now know...
But I now know...

You really think!
I wouldn’t realize!
Those succubus eyes?!!!
You really think!
You could hide what was really inside?!!!
All along?!!
Gnawing at brain,
Polluting my veins,
This isn’t love!
This is insane!
You are the bane,
To my existence!
How could I permit this!
My emotions have become so twisted!

I love you,
I hate you!
I can’t really believe you!
You dug out my heart!
And expect me to say thank you?!!!

I love you,
I hate you!
I can’t really blame you!
Yet you spit on my corpse!
And expect me to apologize to you?!!!
No, thank you!

You are more like a raven,
Lurking in the darkness,
Embedding my head with nightmares,
It’s like I’m living in hell,
And this punishment won’t end!
If only I could pretend that everything is ok,
Just a little longer!

And I used to think,
you were the one for me.
And I used to think,
We were perfect,
But I now know...
But I now know...

I love you,
I hate you!
I can’t really believe you!
You dug out my heart!
And expect me to say thank you?!!!

I love you,
I hate you!
I can’t really blame you!
Yet you spit on my corpse!
And expect me to apologize to you?!!!
No, thank you!

Faceless schemes, broken dreams
Of yesteryear!
Oh what I’ve seen.
Was it all a dream?
Or a living nightmare?

Masking my pain, not feeling ok!
What else can I say?
I’m living a charade!
Like some circus freak!
Drinking every week!
Humanity is weak!
Narcotics becoming lullabies,
Because I’m Losing so much sleep!

Faceless schemes, broken dreams
Of yesteryear!
Oh what I’ve seen.
Was it all a dream?
Or a living nightmare?

Slowly turning into a zombified insomniac.
Anxiety dropping like bombs,
So how can I relax?
Feeling so stressed! It’s like my hearts in cardiac arrest!
So, I mask my pain!
No I’m not ok!
Drinking every day!
God feel my pain!
For I’m going insane!
So, Won’t you end this charade?

Faceless schemes, broken dreams
Of yesteryear!
Oh what I’ve seen.
Was it all a dream?
Or a living nightmare?

This must be living nightmare!
Nightmare (x4)

Lord when I feel the weight,
I wonder when I’ll break?
Lord what will it take?
For you to wake?

You tell me to rise,
When I’m fallen,
As I’m lusting looking at women’s thighs,
You’re still calling.
Waiting for me to open the door,
But I’m too busy with the allure,
With a heart anything but pure,
Looking for the cure,
When the cure has always been there.
Which makes me wonder how you could still care,
For a barren hollow dragon stuck in his lair,
Who has it all but still thinks it isn’t fair.
As he does his own thing refusing to let you steer,
Driving while drinking beer,
Was like a deer in the headlights,
Veering off into the night life,
Making choices without hindsight.
High as a kite,
Losing sight of what’s right.
Sin sure is a plight,
Believing I could reach them heights,
Without the eternal light.

As I’m feeling the weight,
Of my mistakes.
Wondering when I’ll break.
Lord what will it take?
For you to wake?

As I need divine intervention,
For the seeds I’ve sown have reaped infection.
That has made me question.
If life truly is a blessing.
As I’m stressing,
With struggles pressing,
The enemy is hitting hard,
With some boundaries blocking me from moving forward.
And my oppressors stabbing me behind my back like cowards.
But without you God I have no power,
Without you,
I Felt like Aragon kicking a helmet in the scene from two towers,
So, even though I feel under fire,
And things seem dire,
I pray that my desires,
Would honour you sire.
And if I should prosper,
I shall put it towards your empire.
And Lord though I may quake,
I hope that you can make,
This broken frame into a beautiful portrait.

So, in the times where I feel the weight,
Thinking I will break,
Wondering what it will take,
For you to wake.
I pray that I am reminded that you helped me escape.
So, when the day comes, when I reach those heavenly gates.
I shall await.
“To hear well done, good and faithful servant.”

Depression is an emptiness that could never be filled.
Regardless of the cash, drugs, hoes, or food one tries to fill it with.
Depression is like drowning in the ocean.
With no one around to pull you up.
Depression makes normal tasks a chore.
Like smiling or getting out of bed for instance.
Depression is a broken heart that has been filled with betrayal, abandonment, and hate instead of love.
And just like Humpty Dumpty who knows when it’ll get put together again.
Depression can bring impulses to jump in front of cars or jump off bridges.
Depression is sadness that cannot always be expressed by tears.
Depression if not treated can lead to bad coping mechanisms to deal with it.
Depression doesn’t discriminate.
Depression is a wilderness.
Not sure which way to go.
With everything becoming treacherous.
Depression is like being on a tight rope.
Sometimes it can be hard to focus on the task at hand.
For fear can start to consume one’s soul.
Wondering if we fall,
Can we muster the strength to get back up?
Or plummet to their doom?

A soft cloud blankets mountain.
A swirled frozen delight.
A wonderland of flavours.
A calming embrace.
That cools the mind.
And shivers the spine.
A dish that must’ve been created by the Devine.

Growing up from generations bastardized,
Growing up trying to cope with these ******* eyes.
How can I grow? Tell me how can I grow?
They say you reap what you sow.
My family has wept, broken and bruised intoxicated by the white man's wheat.
A fire water that still burns to this day.
You can see it everywhere the homeless sleep & the vultures creep.
Such is the state of decay.
That spreads like the disease of a small box blanket.

Corporate reject leaving pirated feedback of a mumbling degenerate.
Like a Ryan Seacrest to one’s Johnny English, gotta always double-check your prejudice.
The economy is in a deficit that ***** us over more than Jimmy’s speech impediment.
Hard not to be a pessimist when ya get cucked over by the government.
Inflate the autonomy till it impeaches God's Ten Commandments.
Freedom of speech, till the speech comes from a place of malicious intent.
Haunted spirits, left unchecked, hijack the morals of even our best mates.
After all, there is a thin line between love and hate.
Don’t forget, you gotta always respect the deck and protect your neck!

This world’s so twisted, got us drowning within the system.
Till we ain’t got no more immune system.
Like we some unvaccinated children.
Falling short from reaching the Sun.
Ending up a master of none.

Don’t underestimate the ants unless ya want to end up like Kite.
Reap what you cultivate, just ask France about their revolution plight.
Everyone wants a slice of cake, however there ain’t enough rafts in sight.
That turns desperation into chicken fights.
Commercialized violence, enjoyed by those that worship the anti-Christ.
But get away with it cause everyone has a price.
Just ask the million dollar man, or hell ask his son who committed a million dollar scam.
Oh, ****, folly sure weighs heavily, unless ya rich enough; in that case you just get a slap on the hand.
Golly G, certainly, stress breeds grey hairs almost on demand.
So, instead of going all Claude van dam one better;
calm down with some collard greens, after all there’s better ways to cope my man!
Just remember kid to always respect the deck and protect ya neck for…

This world’s so twisted, got us drowning within the system.
Till we ain’t got no more immune system.
Like we some unvaccinated children.
Falling short from reaching the Sun.
Ending up a master of none.

Pain comes in two forms.
The physical and the internal.
So, externally a person can look happy,
But internally they may be crying.
What you choose to do with pain is up to you.
You can either let it fester inside of you or you can see it as a learning opportunity.
However, letting pain fester will not only hurt you but the ones you love.
For pain can turn into envy, hate, pride, hardened hearts, offence, and victimization.
Pain can also turn one towards addictions to drown out the pain.
But no matter how hard people try to drown out pain it will never satisfy.
But wisdom from pain can lead to change, healing, empathy, love, openness, and what some call “truth bombs”.
Pain can also motivate one to work harder or exercise in order to be strong enough to face any storm that may come.
You can either stay stuck in your pain,
Or you can move forward.

They say if the shoe fits wear it,
but if i'm supposed to walk a mile in another's shoe,
How am I ever supposed to ever make it?
I just don't get it?
Running in circles.
Getting run rampant,
Running ragged.
On the run.
Running out of ideas.
Always running or walking.
English sure is a weird thing ain't it?
It's ok... there,their, they're.
Here ye, hear ye.
I'm through, I am just threw with this!
As time goes by, I want to buy back time, because i'm scared to go bye, bye, bye.
Having so much to do due to the dew drops that flood my life.
Just trying to make capital in my capital city.
While the capitol CAPITALIZES on me.
When I got so much to lose.
I just feel so loose.
Deserted from having a slice of that precious dessert.
Too many times I tried, Too much stress that comes to mind.
Sometimes it's barely worth it, sometimes being eating by bear almost seems worth it.
Maybe I just need one more time in order to overcome, so that I can actually say I won this time.

In morning dew, the world delights in colour.
With greenish meadows,
And white clouds that blankets blue skies.
Where flowers blossom with reds, yellows and purples.
With red robins fluttering and chirping.
Till dusk turns to dawn.
And owls awaken.
When camouflaged snakes slither and hiss.
And wolfs howl at the moon.
When mice scatter trying not make a clatter.
The night tells a different story.
One of survival.
At least for animals.
For human however it is a different endeavour.
While some slumber others gamble.
Spending coin to enjoy a chance at happiness.
For mornings aren’t always seen as a happy time,
Where responsibilities take over,
And no time to party.
Or have time to relax.
Either way it’s poison.
So, might as well take the chance.
That some see as lust.
While others see it as a life free from stress.
After all isn’t money the measurement of success?

I Went to the well,
Too many times,
I Went to well,
To wish you well.

I went to well,
To tell you goodbye,
I went to well,
To see you set sail

Oooh, oooh yeah.
I Went to the well,
To the well,
To the well.
Lord I tried,
Truly I did.
I Went to well,
To speak to the dead.
I Went to the well,
To speak to my best friend.

I went to the well,
To make my tears disappear,
I went to the well,
To look back on all our years.

Throwing all my coins in the well,
Because I wish you were here.
To make me laugh,
And To make me cry.
Wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye.

Oooh, oooh yeah.
I Went to the well,
To the well,
To the well.
Lord I tried,
Truly I did.
I went to the well,
To speak with my friend.
I went to the well,
Because I promised we’d be friends till thee end.

To thee end.
Oh Lord, to thee end.
Till my time comes,
And I can get to see my friend once again.

Hook:
They say divided we fall,
United we stand,
In a land of freedom,
Where no one lends a hand!
And, if we stay blinded,
How can we ever learn to understand?

Verse 1:
Grew up in the projects,
Just a subject of circumstances,
Sentenced to a life,
That’ll never be filled with roses.
All I’m left with is the thorns,
Barred from the suburbs, by white picket fences,
And if I ever step out of line,
I’ll end up arrested!
(****)
Heading off to a school,
Filled with metal detectors,
Heading off to a school,
With run-down classroom centres.
With no money for pool water,
With no money for computers,
With no money for highly educated teachers,
With no money for restorative features.

Hook:
They say divided we fall,
United we stand,
In a land of freedom,
Where no one lends a hand!
And, if we stay blinded,
How can we ever learn to understand?

Verse 2:
Grew up in the suburbs,
Where everything is neat and structured,
Sentenced to a life,
That’ll always be pampered.
All I’m left with is whipping my own ***.
Unbarred from no fences, with no issues when venturing upward.
And if I ever step out line,
Honestly, I would be fine.
As I have enough money to escape any fine.
(Haha)
Heading off to a school,
Filled with pocket protectors,
Heading off to a school,
With exceptional classroom centres,
With gigantic swimming quarters.
With top of the line computers,
With the most renowned and qualified teachers,
With enough money to always do renovating features.

Hook:
They say divided we fall,
United we stand,
In a land of freedom,
Where no one lends a hand!
And, if we stay blinded,
How can we ever learn to understand?

Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Uh, try to let it go, but it stay on me.
Can’t escape it, nah, it stay on me.
Look—

[Verse 1]
I wake up, bottle by the sink, come on big guy the sky is feeling real low.
No cap, ***** is twisted; got me relying on the daily dose.
Wonder if the moment will come, where I succumb; comatose.
Desensitized to the trauma; just another name, just another overdose.
Tried to quit once, but the withdrawal raked me over the coals.

Got chemistry like Walter white.
Meds in the bloodstream, I’m my own worst enemy.
Dark days, every night mama praying against the debauchery.
Brain fightin’ back, but it’s hard findin’ energy.

Prescription like a chain on my mental frame,
Want the freedom, but the pain always call my name.
Can’t fake it, wish I didn’t need to take it to stay sane.
Life is a bane, that breaks the backs of anyone not just Bruce Wayne.

[Chorus]
Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Tryna break free, but it’s holdin’ on deep.
Sick of this cycle, man, I can’t retreat,
But without it, I’m stuck, can’t feel my own feet.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Chasin’ the dragon to escape the streets.
Sick of being tired, tired of being sick,
But without it, I feel like a cat in heat.

[Verse 2]
Aye, doctor talkin’ ’bout “Take ‘em as prescribed,”
But these side effects got me questionin’ the vibe.
One for the head, one just to stay alive,
Now I’m a prisoner to the pills that I despise.

Homie, they don’t know the fight in my cortex,
Smile on my face, but I’m cryin’ behind the subtext.
Weight on my soul, yeah, it’s crushin’ my complex,
Tryna medicate the pain, while being caught  up in a vortex.

**** hits like a ******* boomerang;
Worlds lookin’ cold, wondering if I’ll ever see spring.
Tryna be myself, but the pill’s have tangled me up in these puppet strings.

[Chorus]
Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Tryna break free, but it’s holdin’ on deep.
Sick of this cycle, man, I can’t retreat,
But without it, I’m stuck, can’t feel my own feet.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Chasin’ my balance, but it’s hard to compete.
Sick of this pill talk, life ain’t sweet,
But without it, I’m lost in the dark, no beat.

[Bridge]
Feel like a zombie, brain in a fog,
Tryna find God, but I’m lost in the smog.
Check the mirror, don’t even know me at all,
But if I drop these meds, man, I’m bound to fall.

Double-edge sword, yeah, it cuts both ways,
Better days ahead, but it’s locked in a maze.
Chasin’ my peace, but I’m stuck in the daze,
And the pill bottle whispers, “This the only way.”

[Outro]
Yeah, I need ‘em, but I hate ‘em too,
Every day, new battle, what I’m supposed to do?
They tell me that it’s normal, like it’s not abuse,
But I’m fightin’ for my freedom, tryna cut it loose.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat…
Man, it stay on me, yeah, it stay on me…

Forgotten, overlooked, freedom ain't Bueno; ***** ******* cooked.
Ain't nothing more than tokens, displayed throughout museums, locked up as crooks.
Some died as troops, some flew the coop to the spirit world, shot dead cause the cops were spooked.
Or cause someone accidentally sent the priests on the loose.
Oh ****, got the savages advocating again; I hope someone gets out the tear gas and the nooses.
Excessive forces are their re-cources, bringing out the terra nullius to justify their abuses.
We are left in the third world to pick up the pieces, trying desperately to rediscover our grassroots.
But firewater and drugs are mass-produced, a devastation that got one feeling as if smallpox was re-introduced.
Watching as suicide rates go through the ******* roof.
But trauma got us so desensitized and so aloof.
Some cannot heal, while others are too afraid of the truth.
That we have become our own greatest oppressive brutes.
Shoot!

Scars desecrate our spirit; I know yawl don't want to hear it.
Our ways have been poisoned, yet some yawl still refuse to cure it.
Our canoes need to be rebuilt.
I know some of you don't want to hear this because you fear it!
But we must rise up and push through it!
Although there may be blood in the soil, there is still time to start blooming.
So, let's get to it!

**** may not be dandy I ain't lion, but we gotta be resilient like a dandelion.
They can try to trap us in concrete, but we push through it, reaching for that horizon.
I knew life wasn't perfect, yet why were minorities' settings locked on Ninja Gaiden?
I swear this **** got me more confused than Joe Biden.
Fumbling down the stairs without a hint of tequila with the lime in.
But if one gets injured, the hospital ain't give ya the time, man.
Don't matter if ya rock the dimes; the colour equates to a crime.
A colour that keeps em blind, so they'd rather watch us die cause they don't give a ****, man!
Ironic how, in this day and age, we are still seen as a problem.
Ironic how, in this day and age, many of us are still doing what we can to keep on surviving.
Whether that ends up with us becoming felons or dandelions.

Scars desecrate our spirit; I know yawl don't want to hear it.
Our ways have been poisoned, yet some yawl still refuse to cure it.
Our canoes need to be rebuilt.
I know some of you don't want to hear this because you fear it!
But we must rise up and push through it!
Although there may be blood in the soil, there is still time to start blooming.
So, let's get to it!

Verse 1:
This Twisted temptress has tainted my interests,
Trials of the addicted with my purity diminished.
Poor Tortured soul whose child heart has been shattered.
Bruised and battered wondering I even matter.
So,I gets as smashed as my mirror.
As I feel ugly and unworthy of another’s...
Affections, but I am worried that my intentions are that of a sinner.
A component of B.F skinner,
For I am punished for my behaviours,
But life never gave me no ******* favours.
So, was it nature or nurture?
That turned me into this tainted creature?
When I Claim I’m a Christian but don’t even know the scriptures.
Which the enemy uses as means to tear me apart like a vulture.
Scared that as influencer and a leader,
That I may Peter off into the gutter.
And that people will follow me down there.
And I’m just trying my best to not succumb to the fear.
Hook:
Yeah, I’m definitely out of my element,
Exposing all my skeletons,
Wishing I could fly away like a pelican,
But I gots to make sure to not become benevolent.
Yeah, I’m definitely out of my element,
Element, element.
Exposing all my skeletons,
Wishing I could fly away like a pelican,
But I gots to make sure to not become benevolent.

Gotta watch for these two-tongued slippery snakes.
The devil presents Prada, underlying his scorched hate.
Stringing fools along like Geppetto, as he be chillingly sipping tea;
For such is his devilish trait.
That turns our once great heroes into pedos; such is the till of the tape.
The type of **** that truly sits with me.
Wondering if being a celebrity is all its cracked up to be.
When I see humans repeating our dark histories.
Such Insane Albert E’s that be getting ahead of their civil liberties.
Pushing the envelope more than baby oil at one of diddy’s parties.
Juxtaposing phrases like hoping everyone comes clean.
For it doesn't take a black light to see the double mean.
**** is disgusting, but such is humanity.

Hold up just a minute as I am spitting this philosophy.
Before you get brain rot and have a lobotomy.
Take a break, have a Kit Kat, or do whatever you need to do to maintain this mise-en-scene.
Mmm… Food and all that, if you know what I mean!

They say love is a four letter word,
Who knew four letters could mean so much, but also so little.
With love it’s as if one has the power to move mountains.
But without love we are empty.
A emptiness that can quickly fill with hate.
Don’t make a mistake,
When you take or give love.
Sometimes intentions speak louder than words.
Love isn’t just a feeling but an action.
May I ask what your using it for?
Is for your own gain?
Let me tell you that even if you attain the acclaim to fame.
You won’t be satisfied.
Why?
Because you can’t force affection,
Only buy it.
But that makes the affection meaningless.
It cannot make you whole,
But it can make you more bitter.
Till the four letters that once spelled love,
Now spell dead.
Because the pressure to fake was too much,
You can have the whole world but it’ll never be enough.
Because at the end of the day,
All you really want is true love.
A love that don’t discriminate.
A love that won’t fail.
A warm embrace,
When you’re falling apart.
To hear the words “I’m proud of you”.
Instead of “you’re nothing more than a disappointment.”
To having a family that would move heaven and earth to see you.
Instead of alcoholics that constantly beat you.
To have friends that have your back,
Instead of deceiving, or using you.
That real love.
So, though it may be four letters.
It’s the difference between life and death.

I never realized how fragile I was,
Until I was shattered.
I never knew how much power I had,
Till I broke a promise.
I never understood anger,
Till someone called me fat,
Then I gave them a fat lip.
I never understood love,
Till a ravens wings lifted me up.
I never understood disappointment,
Until those ravens wings were clipped.
I never understood friendship,
Till the other person called me up to hang out,
I never understood sadness,
Till that friend lost to drugs.
I never understood strength,
Until I overcame suicidal thoughts.
Until I asked for help,
Until I stopped being the victim,
I never understood compassion,
Until all my ***** laundry was discovered,
Yet God still forgave me,
Yet my mom still loved me,
Yet my friends stuck with me.
I never understood freedom,
Till I was set free.

Got lost in the tavern,
Alcohol tendencies becoming patterns.
Sipping, tripping, brawling just like my family matters.
Young kid bruised and battered.
By father.
Got asked if I want to talk about it once.
I said don’t bother.
Now I’m that drunken father.
****.
But I forget that fact as soon as I grab another bottle.
Drowning my pain.
Hoping it all goes away.
But it never does.
Telling my son that he won’t understand my pain.
But then again.
I’m never around.
I’m never sober.
I’m always angry.
And that anger gets transferred.
Into my life and relationships.
Just like my dad.
Who said I didn’t understand his pain.
But I did feel pain.
Every day he wasn’t there.
So maybe you do understand.
And I like my dad I wasn’t listening.
I’ll try to get clean.
But it’s difficult.
And right now I just can’t let go.
But I’ll take those 12 steps to help me let go.

Somber meadows.
Rivers full of tears.
Longing for a halo.  
Blistering winds whispering fears.

Grey sky withers.
Eye sockets eaten out by critters.
With earth that once birthed life,
Now bearing death.

I remember when the birds used to chirp.
I remember when one reaped how they worked.
I remember when Love was forever.
I remember the times we were together.

Why did the grass on the other side, have to look so much better?
Why did our foundation of brick turn into glass?
Why, oh why?
Did our paths sever?
When, oh when?
Did I become so lost?
Why do choices have to have a cost?

Sitting in these somber meadows.
With a river full of tears.
Longing for a halo.
Blistering winds whispering fears.

Being torn apart,
With weights I can’t bear,
Being torn apart,
With you no longer near.

Verse 1
Anchored to the tethers that solidify the lies spoken by demons in the night,
Beaten hands afraid of their own shade; can’t stand the sight.
Will we ever see the light? Will we ever rise up?
Rise like the morning sun, rise like our brothers and sisters who take hold of the gun.
Gotta Break through the barriers dear child until the battle’s won.

They call us criminal, hold us without bail.
**** never fails, but **** it at least one might finally meet one’s father in jail.
Huh.
We hear the voices, yet they land on pins and needles.
Got me wondering if we’ll ever prevail?
When change moves as fast as the snails.

(Chorus)
Freedom vibrations, ringing through the air,
Breaking every shackle, lifting every prayer.
Voices of the many, hearts beating as one,
This is our anthem, our revolution’s begun.

(Verse 2)
They imprisoned my Moshum, they imprisoned my aunties, they imprisoned my uncles and cousins!
Got me wondering if I’m the next one to be chosen?
Trauma sure be corroding, keeping us all imprisoned.
We will ever be cured of this poison?
Can I ever be accepted for who I am without being treated as a token?
******, Martin Luther king had a dream,
Yet here I am dreaming that one day I won’t be broken!

******!
The weight got me coping!
Yeah the weight got me doping!
A heaviness that keeps my heart from being opened.

The weight got me coping!
Yeah the weight got me doping!
A heaviness that keeps my heart from being opened.

(Chorus)
Freedom vibrations, ringing through the air,
Breaking every shackle, lifting every prayer.
Voices of the many, hearts beating as one,
This is our anthem, our revolution’s begun.

(Bridge)
Feel the pulse, the drum, our ancestors heart beat,
Echoing through the roots beneath our feet.
History’s whispers, rewritten today,
Rise up, rise up—light the way.

(Outro)
Emancipation’s not just a dream, it’s alive,
In every rhythm, every struggle, we thrive.
Love is the weapon, truth the decree,
Freedom vibrations, setting us free.

Freedom… freedom… freedom vibrations…

Verse 1

Yeah, they say blood’s thicker than water, yet my past still lingers,
I was raised by the struggle, with pain turning into anger.
Mama busted her *** with no man in the picture,
Just echoes in the hallway, dreams turned to nightmares.

How do I guide when I ain’t seen the path?
How do I build when I don’t know how to craft?
I learned with my fists, I learned from the church, I learned how to mask because I struggled with my self worth!

The streets don’t teach cats how to cradle, best believe I was never given no silver spoon.
Felt so insecure and isolated like a little man on the moon.
Guess I’ll learn how to be a man from television and cartoons.
Trauma runs deep, where self harm gets covered up with make-up or turned into tattoos.
Just cover it up, man up, don’t you cry dude.
Don’t recognize the man in the mirror anymore; a beauty distorted by invisible war wounds.
Praying one day to break the cycle, hoping one day hope will shine through’

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster?

(Verse 2)
Growing up I used to tell others my dad was a failed magician.
Cause he disappeared from my life and hasn’t reappeared again.
But all jokes aside; I promised myself that I’d never end like him!
But fear whispers lies, man, especially when I keep falling short again and again.
I sincerely try my best, but I swear my trauma be always lurking when I’m in remission.
Then attacks me unexpectedly like the Spanish Inquisition!

I wanna teach my son more than lessons of survival,
Show him love’s real, not just a myth or some half assed recital.
How do I teach him, when growing up I never had a male role model?
Feels like an uphill battle, man, it feels so ******* suicidal.
Quick somebody beam out of here; where the **** is Heimdall?  

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster

(Bridge)
But maybe fear’s a teacher, lessons in disguise,
Maybe my son’s laughter can drown out these cries.
I’ll learn lullabies I never heard as a boy,
Find power in weakness, turn sorrow to joy.

(Verse 3)
So I tighten my fist, not for war, but for holding,
And let go of the past, the anger, unfolding.
Tell my child their loved, let them know that they’re seen,
Break the chain I wore, start a new routine.

I may stumble and fall, but I’ll keep trying.
‘Cause their smile’s worth more than all the world’s diamonds!
At least I know how a father shouldn’t be,
so from there all it takes is some rewiring!

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
But I’m learning, son, for you, endlessly.
Turning pages of peace and laughter,
Writing a new verse, my love is your chapter.

(Outro)
Yeah, to all my brothers caught up in the same strife,
We can be more than pain, we can make more of this life.
Let’s show them that love’s a skill we can learn,
And in their loving eyes, our own demons will start to burn.

As waves crash,
And leafs change.
As rain drops.
And winds blow.
Time is fleeting.

As the sun rises,
And deer skip.
As the sun sets.
And moon shines.
Time is precious.

As we grow old,
And our kids have kids,
As we die,
And are reborn.
Time begins anew.

Lord, I’m looking at the fields, but I can’t feel their glow,
You gave me more than enough, but still, I hunger for more.
You promised me lands of milk and honey, yet I turned to the shadows.
Left to bear the curse of the carnivore.
The wind cries, the rain falls, the sun shines, all in vain,
‘Cause I’m out here cursing your blessings, lost in my pain.
I’m trapped in the struggle, bitter, digging my own grave,
Pointing fingers at the world while I’m the one enslaved.
Blind to my faults, walking in circles I paved,
A rebel with no cause, just a soul that misbehaved.
I’m tired, Lord, searching for rest. I keep destroying,
Fighting the peace you offer, caught up in my poison.
Why don’t you strike me down and end my mistakes?
Why do you keep showing me love when all I do is take it?
Is it too late to change, too late to believe?
With the weight of the world on my neck, that got me screaming, ‘I can’t breathe’!
Is it too late for this prodigal son; willing to even work in the wheat?
Can you turn a lost goat back into one of your sheep?
Lord, I pray for my heart to leap.
Lord, I pray for strength, though I am weak.
Please be merciful, although I don't even deserve to wash your feet.

Let's take it back to my old city,
It may be not that pretty,
But I'll stick with it, even when I’m sick of it,
Original Canadian that writes poems that pull you in just like a hypnotist.
You can't get with this,
For my penmanship is that of a novelist.
Started from humble beginnings doing shifts,
As a dish washer and I hated it,
As I was getting verbally assaulted daily by management.
Maybe that’s where I began to hate the establishment.
That could only view me as one of the savages.
Getting in fights at schools, leaving in bandages.
Maybe that’s why I became an activist.
With an active list.
Of changes that I see fit.
Just a young kid that grew up in E-town,
That got into the rap thing since grade seven,  
As I needed something to release all my pent up aggression. An artistic kid, treated as an autistic kid.
That was never understood so he always hid.
Searching for an outlook in.
Wondering if it was possible to whiten up my skin.
To be honest that's how I started, I rocked with it,
hoping for acceptance because I hated always being the misfit.
I was the awkward kid that could only hang out with the emo's and the druggies or geeks;
I never fit in, a Christian kid made fun of because he was a Jesus freak.
That's why I get mad or question God;
Wondering where was God,
Can he truly help me when I feel caved in?
The world took me in,
To a life filled with so much sin,
I had lost my way, in a world that I thought decayed,
Leaving me astray as a slave.
I see it as I walk through out the day.
The fear in peoples eyes but I just wanted to play.
I just wanted a place to stay.
Where everything could be okay.
Trying to find the line,
What is it that divides?
Searching for the truth,
What is it that makes me-me?
I just want to flee, to escape reality.
I never chose to live; I never chose to be this way,
Living an existence full of foul play.
I worked hard to change myself,
Hoping the world would follow.
But it never did, people have made their bed.
It always goes to the highest bid.
For money speaks more to the hearts of men.
A materialistic love drenched in sin.
We treat it like it's worth something, but to me it's ugly.
It symbolizes separation between the poor and the rich;
With no time for those who don't make it.
It's time to say enough is enough,
And stop having our head up our ***** and grow up.
It's our choice to make life better, so what if there is pressure?
We can get through it together.

Verse 1:
In a world split down the middle, I’m still moving.
Lost in my own galaxy, wrestling with shadows I can’t shake.
I’ve stood at too many crossroads, laughed at by many jackals.
Feels like the universe keeps testing my faith,
Some days, the dark’s all I can see, leaves me hollow.
Makes me wonder if God’s watching, or just letting me drift.
I’m trying not to fold, not to lose to myself.
Fighting poisons I let slip under my skin.
The seeds I planted, now I’m scared of the harvest.
Should’ve held this life closer. Should’ve known better.
Maybe I’m just a mirror, reflecting the chaos I’m given.
Every scar on my soul feels like a lyric unwritten.
Chasing heaven in a bottle, calling out to the angels through the static.
But every prayer feels like it’s lost in the traffic.
My memories play like records I can’t flip,
Needles sticking out, I feel like I’m starting to trip.
I taste instant regret, like Jesus being pierced straight through the hip.
Got me swimming in my blood, I swear in my past life I must’ve been a crip.

Hook:
I’ve been running from the shadows, chasing light that’s never near,
Building castles in the sky, but they all disappear.
Questions on my tongue, yeah, they echo through the night,
Is the truth in my reflection or just hiding from my sight?

Am I lost, or am I free? Floating far beyond the edge,
Searching for a piece of me in the void I call my head.
If the stars fall down, will they show me where to go?
Or will I fade into the darkness of a story left untold?

Verse 2:
Yeah, I been fighting with my mind, lost my grip on control,
Felt the price of every dollar, think I auctioned my soul.
Took a bite outta sin, now it’s rotting my teeth,
Tryna smile through the pain, but it’s buried too deep.
Praying for a blessing that I never get near.
The chains I put on shining, but they heavy as hell,
I’m a prisoner to the grind, in this self-made cell.
Feel the weight of my regrets, got me breaking my spine,
Every choice that I made like I’m toeing the line.
Now my shadow’s my rival, my reflection’s my foe,
And the man I used to be ain’t the one that I know.
****, I’m stuck between the hustle and the man that I lost,
Paying dues with my spirit, but I’m counting the cost.
Swear I’m tryna find redemption, but I’m trapped in the flames,
If I gave it all away, would they remember my name?

Hook:
I’ve been running from the shadows, chasing light that’s never near,
Building castles in the sky, but they all disappear.
Questions on my tongue, yeah, they echo through the night,
Is the truth in my reflection or just hiding from my sight?

Am I lost, or am I free? Floating far beyond the edge,
Searching for a piece of me in the void I call my head.
If the stars fall down, will they show me where to go?
Or will I fade into the darkness of a story left untold?

Sweet whispers, flutter in ears.
A gentle breeze wonders near.
Guided by spirits.

A tranquil embrace.
That shelters from fear.
Soon a path becomes clear.

Follow the whispers.
Through the trees.
Light instilled in serenity.

To a home meant for me.
A place that is like a dream.
So I rest forevermore.

They strip us from our homes,
Tear up all our clothes.
Cutting up our hair, which was our strength.
Washing away our disease, for heaven’s sake.
Beat us for speaking our language.
And if we revolt they lock us away in cages.
Is there hope for a better life?
When we are still looked at as savages?
Watching as sisters end up missing.
Watching as brothers end up on the streets tweaking.
Is there hope for a better life?
When we are still looked at as the problem?
Watching fathers sip the fire water, get angry and start the beating.
Watching mothers grow submissive to the patriarchy prison.
Is there hope for a better life?
With the barriers that still exist within our society’s system?

Sometimes my mind feels trapped in a fog,
A fog filled with guilt and shame.
A fog that seemed so pure,
When I was insecure.
I couldn’t escape the allure.
Of the mature.
A lust that only took,
Leaving me empty.
It was like a crook,
Robbed and stabbed me.
Was left wounded, bleeding badly.
Felt so ashamed, that I isolated from friends and family.
Which then spiralled me into a depression,
I was so suicidal, went to church but gave no confession.
For how could I talk to God,
When I felt like a demon?
How could I say I respected women,
When I was fiending?
With toxic desires,
That drove fast like street cars.
My soul felt like it was on fire,
And in the mirror all I saw was a monster.
Wondering if it isn’t too late to turn back,
After my red heart turned black.
For I’ve been so lost in this fog for so long,
Searching for hope to keep moving on.
While also praying for strength to hold on.
But every day it’s a struggle,
With a new hurdle.
And sometimes I still fall flat on my face,
But life is a journey, and I will finish this race!
No longer will I let this fog keep me in place,
No longer will I let myself be as fragile as a vase.
For I know my worth,
And I have faith.
That this demon can become an angel once again.