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Classy J Nov 2024
Verse 1:
In a world split down the middle, I’m still moving.
Lost in my own galaxy, wrestling with shadows I can’t shake.
I’ve stood at too many crossroads, laughed at by many jackals.
Feels like the universe keeps testing my faith,
Some days, the dark’s all I can see, leaves me hollow.
Makes me wonder if God’s watching, or just letting me drift.
I’m trying not to fold, not to lose to myself.
Fighting poisons I let slip under my skin.
The seeds I planted, now I’m scared of the harvest.
Should’ve held this life closer. Should’ve known better.
Maybe I’m just a mirror, reflecting the chaos I’m given.
Every scar on my soul feels like a lyric unwritten.
Chasing heaven in a bottle, calling out to the angels through the static.
But every prayer feels like it’s lost in the traffic.
My memories play like records I can’t flip,
Needles sticking out, I feel like I’m starting to trip.
I taste instant regret, like Jesus being pierced straight through the hip.
Got me swimming in my blood, I swear in my past life I must’ve been a crip.

Hook:
I’ve been running from the shadows, chasing light that’s never near,
Building castles in the sky, but they all disappear.
Questions on my tongue, yeah, they echo through the night,
Is the truth in my reflection or just hiding from my sight?

Am I lost, or am I free? Floating far beyond the edge,
Searching for a piece of me in the void I call my head.
If the stars fall down, will they show me where to go?
Or will I fade into the darkness of a story left untold?

Verse 2:
Yeah, I been fighting with my mind, lost my grip on control,
Felt the price of every dollar, think I auctioned my soul.
Took a bite outta sin, now it’s rotting my teeth,
Tryna smile through the pain, but it’s buried too deep.
Praying for a blessing that I never get near.
The chains I put on shining, but they heavy as hell,
I’m a prisoner to the grind, in this self-made cell.
Feel the weight of my regrets, got me breaking my spine,
Every choice that I made like I’m toeing the line.
Now my shadow’s my rival, my reflection’s my foe,
And the man I used to be ain’t the one that I know.
****, I’m stuck between the hustle and the man that I lost,
Paying dues with my spirit, but I’m counting the cost.
Swear I’m tryna find redemption, but I’m trapped in the flames,
If I gave it all away, would they remember my name?

Hook:
I’ve been running from the shadows, chasing light that’s never near,
Building castles in the sky, but they all disappear.
Questions on my tongue, yeah, they echo through the night,
Is the truth in my reflection or just hiding from my sight?

Am I lost, or am I free? Floating far beyond the edge,
Searching for a piece of me in the void I call my head.
If the stars fall down, will they show me where to go?
Or will I fade into the darkness of a story left untold?
Classy J Nov 2024
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Uh, try to let it go, but it stay on me.
Can’t escape it, nah, it stay on me.
Look—

[Verse 1]
I wake up, bottle by the sink, come on big guy the sky is feeling real low.
No cap, ***** is twisted; got me relying on the daily dose.
Wonder if the moment will come, where I succumb; comatose.
Desensitized to the trauma; just another name, just another overdose.
Tried to quit once, but the withdrawal raked me over the coals.

Got chemistry like Walter white.
Meds in the bloodstream, I’m my own worst enemy.
Dark days, every night mama praying against the debauchery.
Brain fightin’ back, but it’s hard findin’ energy.

Prescription like a chain on my mental frame,
Want the freedom, but the pain always call my name.
Can’t fake it, wish I didn’t need to take it to stay sane.
Life is a bane, that breaks the backs of anyone not just Bruce Wayne.

[Chorus]
Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Tryna break free, but it’s holdin’ on deep.
Sick of this cycle, man, I can’t retreat,
But without it, I’m stuck, can’t feel my own feet.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Chasin’ the dragon to escape the streets.
Sick of being tired, tired of being sick,
But without it, I feel like a cat in heat.

[Verse 2]
Aye, doctor talkin’ ’bout “Take ‘em as prescribed,”
But these side effects got me questionin’ the vibe.
One for the head, one just to stay alive,
Now I’m a prisoner to the pills that I despise.

Homie, they don’t know the fight in my cortex,
Smile on my face, but I’m cryin’ behind the subtext.
Weight on my soul, yeah, it’s crushin’ my complex,
Tryna medicate the pain, while being caught  up in a vortex.

**** hits like a ******* boomerang;
Worlds lookin’ cold, wondering if I’ll ever see spring.
Tryna be myself, but the pill’s have tangled me up in these puppet strings.

[Chorus]
Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Tryna break free, but it’s holdin’ on deep.
Sick of this cycle, man, I can’t retreat,
But without it, I’m stuck, can’t feel my own feet.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat,
Chasin’ my balance, but it’s hard to compete.
Sick of this pill talk, life ain’t sweet,
But without it, I’m lost in the dark, no beat.

[Bridge]
Feel like a zombie, brain in a fog,
Tryna find God, but I’m lost in the smog.
Check the mirror, don’t even know me at all,
But if I drop these meds, man, I’m bound to fall.

Double-edge sword, yeah, it cuts both ways,
Better days ahead, but it’s locked in a maze.
Chasin’ my peace, but I’m stuck in the daze,
And the pill bottle whispers, “This the only way.”

[Outro]
Yeah, I need ‘em, but I hate ‘em too,
Every day, new battle, what I’m supposed to do?
They tell me that it’s normal, like it’s not abuse,
But I’m fightin’ for my freedom, tryna cut it loose.

Pop one, pop two, keep it on repeat…
Man, it stay on me, yeah, it stay on me…
Classy J Nov 2024
Verse 1
Anchored to the tethers that solidify the lies spoken by demons in the night,
Beaten hands afraid of their own shade; can’t stand the sight.
Will we ever see the light? Will we ever rise up?
Rise like the morning sun, rise like our brothers and sisters who take hold of the gun.
Gotta Break through the barriers dear child until the battle’s won.

They call us criminal, hold us without bail.
**** never fails, but **** it at least one might finally meet one’s father in jail.
Huh.
We hear the voices, yet they land on pins and needles.
Got me wondering if we’ll ever prevail?
When change moves as fast as the snails.

(Chorus)
Freedom vibrations, ringing through the air,
Breaking every shackle, lifting every prayer.
Voices of the many, hearts beating as one,
This is our anthem, our revolution’s begun.

(Verse 2)
They imprisoned my Moshum, they imprisoned my aunties, they imprisoned my uncles and cousins!
Got me wondering if I’m the next one to be chosen?
Trauma sure be corroding, keeping us all imprisoned.
We will ever be cured of this poison?
Can I ever be accepted for who I am without being treated as a token?
******, Martin Luther king had a dream,
Yet here I am dreaming that one day I won’t be broken!

******!
The weight got me coping!
Yeah the weight got me doping!
A heaviness that keeps my heart from being opened.

The weight got me coping!
Yeah the weight got me doping!
A heaviness that keeps my heart from being opened.

(Chorus)
Freedom vibrations, ringing through the air,
Breaking every shackle, lifting every prayer.
Voices of the many, hearts beating as one,
This is our anthem, our revolution’s begun.

(Bridge)
Feel the pulse, the drum, our ancestors heart beat,
Echoing through the roots beneath our feet.
History’s whispers, rewritten today,
Rise up, rise up—light the way.

(Outro)
Emancipation’s not just a dream, it’s alive,
In every rhythm, every struggle, we thrive.
Love is the weapon, truth the decree,
Freedom vibrations, setting us free.

Freedom… freedom… freedom vibrations…
Classy J Nov 2024
Verse 1

Yeah, they say blood’s thicker than water, yet my past still lingers,
I was raised by the struggle, with pain turning into anger.
Mama busted her *** with no man in the picture,
Just echoes in the hallway, dreams turned to nightmares.

How do I guide when I ain’t seen the path?
How do I build when I don’t know how to craft?
I learned with my fists, I learned from the church, I learned how to mask because I struggled with my self worth!

The streets don’t teach cats how to cradle, best believe I was never given no silver spoon.
Felt so insecure and isolated like a little man on the moon.
Guess I’ll learn how to be a man from television and cartoons.
Trauma runs deep, where self harm gets covered up with make-up or turned into tattoos.
Just cover it up, man up, don’t you cry dude.
Don’t recognize the man in the mirror anymore; a beauty distorted by invisible war wounds.
Praying one day to break the cycle, hoping one day hope will shine through’

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster?

(Verse 2)
Growing up I used to tell others my dad was a failed magician.
Cause he disappeared from my life and hasn’t reappeared again.
But all jokes aside; I promised myself that I’d never end like him!
But fear whispers lies, man, especially when I keep falling short again and again.
I sincerely try my best, but I swear my trauma be always lurking when I’m in remission.
Then attacks me unexpectedly like the Spanish Inquisition!

I wanna teach my son more than lessons of survival,
Show him love’s real, not just a myth or some half assed recital.
How do I teach him, when growing up I never had a male role model?
Feels like an uphill battle, man, it feels so ******* suicidal.
Quick somebody beam out of here; where the **** is Heimdall?  

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster

(Bridge)
But maybe fear’s a teacher, lessons in disguise,
Maybe my son’s laughter can drown out these cries.
I’ll learn lullabies I never heard as a boy,
Find power in weakness, turn sorrow to joy.

(Verse 3)
So I tighten my fist, not for war, but for holding,
And let go of the past, the anger, unfolding.
Tell my child their loved, let them know that they’re seen,
Break the chain I wore, start a new routine.

I may stumble and fall, but I’ll keep trying.
‘Cause their smile’s worth more than all the world’s diamonds!
At least I know how a father shouldn’t be,
so from there all it takes is some rewiring!

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
But I’m learning, son, for you, endlessly.
Turning pages of peace and laughter,
Writing a new verse, my love is your chapter.

(Outro)
Yeah, to all my brothers caught up in the same strife,
We can be more than pain, we can make more of this life.
Let’s show them that love’s a skill we can learn,
And in their loving eyes, our own demons will start to burn.
Classy J Nov 2024
Drag my name through the mud.
Make fun of me cause of my belief in God.
Discriminate and profile me; make excuses saying don’t blame you it’s just your job.
Just because I wear a hoodie doesn’t mean I’m going to rob!
It’s alright though I’m used to it!

Mock my culture, mispronounce my name; keep me silent, keep me chained!
Hate me for my political views, get angered over facts and call for me to be hanged!
Overgeneralize my identity like I’m the one to blame.
Call me cynical because I believe society is a rigged game!
It’s alright though I’m used to it!

Call me *****, call me ***, make fun of my long hair; call me a **** for having braids!
Call me savage, call me ******, belittle me to make yourself feel bigger.
It’s alright though, I’m used to it?

That’s the real question, should I?
Should I be alright with it?
Should I simply get over it?
Should I just man up and continue to push it down?
I am not your entertainment, I am not your clown.
I am a human that just so happens to be brown.
I will idle no more!
Classy J Nov 2024
She got the where with all,
Which is good cause,
I’m in withdrawal.

The laws of attraction,
Can cause some tension,
When she is in love with me,
But I’m in love with intoxication.

Don’t know how it happened?
Mind over matter,
Until I’m met with Jacob’s ladder,
As the room spun, and my eyes blackened.

A darkness unlike any depression,
A bleakness likened to my inner weakness.
That reminds me,
Of a boy trapped inside a man’s body.
A boy who never grew up,
Like those in neverland.
A boy who wanted desperately to fly away,
Like Peter Pan.

These repressed memories,
That are usually drowned,
By the sounds of toxic dependence.
Are now rushing into the door,
Of my heart.
That I try my best to keep shut.
From the monsters that like to tear off.
Pieces of me, like I’m some injured animal.
That hardened me to the world,
That to me was a cannibal.
That eats innocents like me alive.
With no answers as to why?

So, than why should I remain sober?
Instead of continuing to be numb?
Aren’t we all pretenders?
Under the thumbs,
Of sweet surrender?

A surrender from our true selves.
Everyone is an actor,
In show and tell.
Wanting to be in the centre,
Of the spotlight.
Instead of the lingering,
In the shadows of hell.

Which got me wondering?
What demon your hiding from?
And what concoction you use,
To keep it at bay?
Classy J Nov 2024
Verse 1:
Somebody call the coroner, I done murdered this ***** and governor.
Three some gone wrong, better take a shot and have another beer!
Talk about groping and coping mixed with some codeine; I’m paranoid and full of fear.
Should’ve seen it coming, was bullied and teased by the world who only ever saw me as being weird.
So I **** to fill the void, cause it used to hit me like morphine; but now that intoxication has ******* disappeared.
**** got me annoyed! Got me scratching at the floor boards; like the devil’s here!
Fifty shades of grey, go get the toys, what’s that squeaking sound? Dear governor?
(Halloween tense noise)
Aww.. why’d ya have to go in there?

Hook:
Like a ghoul in the shadows, like a fiend on the loose, there’s a monster outside, better go get the noose!
I’m a ghoul on mission, so best hide your momma and her scrumptious caboose!

Verse 2:
Got a taste of the dark side, blood in my gin.
Soul decomposing, but I’ll still put it in.
I’m fiend in the night, I’m giving in to my sin,
Hush now already, it’s all right to give in!
(Crunch of an apple sound and screams)
I’m dying just to taste it, my appetite is wicked, eating souls to survive, ain’t got nothing to conflict with!
Some dimwits call me sadistic, but pain is where I thrive; so it don’t matter if yawl plead the fifth.
It’s a struggle to survive in a world where homelessness is treated a myth.
I just might be psychotic but the governments the real sith!
Just take a look at them CIA files man, that ***** real sick.
But if ya expose too much, you’ll end up dead real quick!
Guess I’m not only ghoul in the shadows lurking with them silencers that go.. click; click!

Hook:
Like a ghoul in the shadows, like a fiend on the loose, there’s a monster outside, better go get the noose!
I’m a ghoul on mission, so best hide your momma and her scrumptious caboose!
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