Everything time you slip away,
I cannot take, I start to break.
Cause you make my mind race.
With these thoughts of lust,
And these thoughts of hate.
I swear without you, I go insane.
The monkeys are out of the barrel.
I can’t be hushed, I cannot taste.
Gotta shake this cage, and get away.

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Finding myself hooked,
To materials, to you.
Even though you’re a crocodile,
I can’t help but to pursue.
I can’t help but to look,
Longingly like a crook.
I yearn for what I cannot attain.
Maybe that’s why you see me as a child.
I’m just a lost boy to you.

An object of disdain.
Perhaps I crave this pain?
The enjoyment of riding the waves,
Of the hurricane!

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Some of the best rappers alive,
Yawl never heard of.
Some of my best friends I’ll never see again,
Went missing or got murdered.
Every day I tread water,
Ain’t got no life preserver.
Got built in strength yet still fragile,
Like a lavatera.
A gift passed on from era to era.
Like the bottled up emotions,
That one never spoke a word of.
Until like many I eventually exploded, was empty, so i fuelled my body with Henny.
****, now I gotta disorder.
Suicidal tendencies don’t discriminate or recognize borders.
And based on statistics I’d most likely end up an Alberta Warrior.
It might be the turn of the century,
Yet in terms of progress we haven’t even left the harbour.
My sister got in a bad accident yet it took hours to even see the doctor.
Had a concussion but they assumed she just consumed the fire water.
Almost lost another family member.
Because of the fact she was Indigenous,
The medical system didn’t even bother.

Through the trials and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight.

Even though there are days, I swear that the world grows darker.
Gotta watch out for that thief in the night,
Cause the devil ain’t no ordinary burglar.
He comes in all shapes and sizes,
Can present himself as vices.
Watched my fair share of those I loved,
Die from overdoses.
So, many holes to dig but not enough roses.
The snake even slithers his way into the services that are supposed to help us.
Maybe that’s why most cops don’t like us.
Cause they were struck by the devil’s virus!
Perhaps I’m just traumatized and on verge of becoming comatose.
Went to the doctor and was given an expensive trauma quote.
**** I meant medication.
Guess it’s cheaper to buy some dope.
Except I gotta deal with society viewing me as an abomination.
Either way I gotta pay to keep away these demons.
Wonder how long I’ll stay within this season?
I guess it could be worse?
I could be more like Job.
But comparing atrocities is as useful as counting crows.
Can’t dwell on these tragic comedies, I’d rather see the varied ways for hope.

Through the struggles and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight

A solemn prayer given.
Somber times of silence.
Remember the last time you heard.
Sitting here waiting for answers.
Chaos envelopes, swarming around me.
Lost in the woods, feeling trapped.
It’s hard not to be discouraged.
On the brink.
Wonder when I will find sleep?
I long for rest.
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Am I weak to question?
Should I even ask?
Holding out for a chance.
A miraculous miracle.
But sometimes they never come.
At least the way I hoped for or expected.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
But I’ve heard that is enough to move mountains.
Yet I struggle to move even myself.
Am I asking too much?
Or not enough?

Sometimes **** doesn’t go your way,
It’s like I prefer to make it harder on myself,
Cause I prefer to take the longest way.
Yet also gotta find time for self help, even if you’re;
Pressed for time every gosh **** day,
Never will hear me say the lords name in vain.
Even though I’m a sinner, I know there’s room for change.
And yes I’m a swearer; to my moms disdain.
But we all fall short, cause we’re all humane.
And until that final court day, I must maintain!
Cause I don’t do **** halfway!
Got to make the most of this life,
Even if it’s a bit risqué!

Go ahead and seize the day!
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Call it carpe diem,
Might just slide into your dm’s,
Might just sky dive next weekend!
Hell I might just start casting out demons!
Only God can take me,
Or get me kneeling.
I’m done being stuck in the mud!
It’s bout time for healing!
I’m done being suffocated,
It’s bout time I start breathing.
Give thanks and a prayer than dive back in the deep end.
To help others that be drowning.
Gotta make a stand for those,
condemned by the world.
Unwilling to lend a hand.
So, I gotta do my part to help them…

Go ahead and seize the day.
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Pinky ring slingers,
Watch as my brothers get put in slammers,
Watch as my brother’s get hung from swingers.
Every day, every week I hear cries and gospel singers.
Every day, every week I hear gun shots and tweakers.
Trauma runs deep, our community the titanic,
All we get is static from a government,
That watches along as we sink here.
Treating it like collages cause they hearts cold as winter.
Where our cries go in one ear than out the other ear.
If the Statue of Liberty was a person,
They’d probably evict her.
I guess one may say that,
Equity has become as real as flying reindeer.
It’s cute that some think they understand the pain here,
Just because they watched Naruto.
Now, that’s what I call taking a big leap sir!
But the truth is you’ll never understand kiddo.
You may be lost now, but so too was Nemo!
Just gotta accept it like the fact that,
Han first shot at Greedo.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Yet ignorant ******* still can’t seem to fathom why we upset!
In fact the buggers uno reverse the subject.
Like they are the true victims,
Cause intersectionality displaces them.
Must really **** to be viewed as the problem?
Get over it darlin!
Tell me more about how it feels to not be pardoned for your skin!
****.
Straight up, Got ‘em.
Got they hands up but still shot em.
Got barely any food to eat, still robbed em.
May have been hit with a rock bottom.
But they still don’t know what it is to hit rock bottom!
So, shut up and **** on my *******.
***** I’m not playing,
***** I’m not joking!

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

What came first?
A barren land or a barren mind?
Perhaps the two are intertwined!
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Perspective is a state by design.
While some of the confined become free.
Those of who are free can be confined.
Sometimes the cuffs come on even before the jail time.
Those who are blind may not be able to see,
But those who see can be also be blind to things.
Blind to hatred, tears, and blood.
Blind to anger, click bait, and floods.
So I ask.
What comes first?
Others or ourselves?
In a land with book stores, we are its shelves.
Holding onto things that eventually collect dust.
Scenarios once opened but now shut.
Yet many hang on still.
Unable to rebuild.
Perhaps they never gained the proper skills?
Raised by those who were ill.
Ill suited to fill their empty cups.
Ill suited to lift them up.
So again I ask?
What came first?
The barren land or the barren mind?
I hope you come to realize, that they can be intertwined.

I delight in weaknesses,
in insults,
in hardships,
in persecutions,
in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong

Thought I could do this alone,
But my pride made me prone.
I feel torn,
I feel worn,
Addiction attached to my mind,
Like a crown of thorns.
Got me numb and resisting those who are kind.
Limitations of the stubborn,
Deny the sunscreen, but gets surprised with the sun burn.
Locked in a prison,
Yet I was the one that walked in.
Couldn’t get enough of the ecstasy,
As I needed an excuse to continue,
Playing the victim.
What can I say?
Conformity got to be comfortable.
Is it possible to choose to be a slave?
A question that leaves a majority uncomfortable.


Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Society don’t think much bout me,
For awhile I believed what they told me.
Spiralled down dark paths that almost killed me.
Many nights I screamed for Creator to take me.
The weight overbearing,
Addiction overwhelming,
Collecting scars and mistakes that got me resenting,
That I was born possessing.
A skin tone unmatching.
A dominant society that found it revolting.
Yet had no problem ******* and ******,
The ones who loved me.
Left to watch as many of them died in front of me.
No wonder I crave the needle,
The smoke,
The drink
The pills
The coke,
Because when I die I can say to them don’t worry I’m coming.
Coming home;
A home that was robbed from me.

Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Outro:
Gotta come together and stand as one,
Fight against the trauma that leaves many wounded,
Like it was a bullet from a gun!
Gotta to fight the **** that is rooted,
In a society that remains stunned.