The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

The hatred pierces the veil,
Cross bearing down, grab the nails!
A savage that must be kept sterile.
Internal sin got me feeling like the devil!
Drinking fire water by the barrel.
Thorns digging into the brain, father I’ve failed.
Feel like I’m in a spiral about to go down in flames like I’m Spyro.
The angry be boiling, got me toiling, off the rail.
Lost without morals, feeling as useless as a broken arrow.
Spear slides in the ribs, got me pale.
Bleeding out, pleading out, faith is frail.
Drowning in the deep, bought to exhale.
Grasping, begging, as onlookers watch me flail.
Arms spread out like a scale.
Will I prevail or Peril?

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

Spat in the face because of my race.
Jeered by people that never had a taste.
Never had to risk, never had to face.
Trauma that is interlaced.
With people being murdered or go missing without a trace.
Jeered by people that never had their history erased.
Who always had a place, always had a plate.
Have you even seen the over representation rates?
For goodness sakes!
Told to get over it as we are getting maced.
Told to get over it as we are being disgraced.
Told to get over it as we are being *****.
With the inner voice becoming internalized hate.
And toxic cycles not hitting the breaks.
Simply because people aren’t willing to embrace!
Simply because religious zealots convinced society that we aren’t loved by Christ.
To those religious zealots I say; you obviously don’t know **** about Christ!

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

I…
Am torn inside.
I….
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Feel cursed.
Can I be rebirthed?
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth?


I…
Am torn inside
I…
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Cannot escape.
Cannot face.
Cannot relate.
This criminal mind,
That is fuelled by hate.
Wondering if it’s too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!

I…
Am a slave.
I…
Am trapped in what I’ve made!
And I…
Wish I could trade.
The sins that weigh,
On my heart that keep me dismayed.
Is too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

I…
Am ashamed.
I…
Am drained and starting to decay.
And I’m…
Not sure I can sustain,
Can contain.
This ******* pain!
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!

Waiting at auntie’s place,
Waiting for a father,
That would never show,
So, instead me and aunty would play games.
To escape my tearful flow.
At aunties place drinking creamer straight up.
The sweetness fuelled me for hours.
Playing in parks or doing activities.
Until my mom would come pick me up.
Where I would have to discuss,
The pent up feelings I had for my father,
Once again not showing up.
Does he even love me?
Does he even give a ****?
These thoughts and questions haunted me,
The trauma followed me.
Acted up in school, but instead of empathy.
Teachers told me to man up.
How the **** can I man up?
Without a father figure; who is also older than me,
Unable to man up?
These thoughts and questions haunted me,
With self-hatred, self-harm, and negativity following me.
Inflicting harm to a once warm and innocent heart.

Jargon gets muddled, to mouth is to fumble, to ***** is to muggle.
Snitching means trouble, bragging meets knuckle, ego gets nuzzled.
Ten hut that’s a huddle, life is a struggle, especially for those that stay suckled.
Like Malcolm in the middle, might just go unstable,
So, best not pop my bubble!
Got to stay on your toes like Barney Rubble,
Can’t ever stay idle in the jungle!
Where desperados need the narcan,
Overdosing daily, organs go to the black market, **** what a bargain.
Indulge in the bourbon, might just light up a Cuban, if I die it’s outta my hands.
Welcome to the land of the ******,
Where no one has a long lifespan.
So, get sloushed; do a keg stand.
Yeah, yeah.
Gotta party up, it’s weekend.
Yeah, yeah.
Not much else to do when you’re drowning in the deep end.
Yeah, yeah.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Don’t get it twisted or entangled,
Name might be on a banner,
But it certainly ain’t star spangled.
Fame is a curse filled with idle chatter.
That’s slaps harder than a Will Smith scandal.
Where money is more vain than Jada.
Gee I don’t know Jane,
Perhaps we should be more like Greta.
Taking names like Andrew, is that dude even humane?
Narcissists are insane, especially those that believe they’re Alfa and Omega.
Get too full of yourself, might just end up worse than Ye.
Pride comes before the fall, man you should’ve known better.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Carnal creature inside,
Ain’t no place to hide.
Feel like I’m outta my mind.
Feel like I’m going to die.
Some got scars on they wrist,
I got scars behind my eyes.
I’m adrift and shut-down
Shut up let me fantasize.
Gotta numb the pain.
Cause I’m traumatized.
Feel like a clown.
Becoming something I don’t recognize.
Where evil becomes glamourized.
And good becoming desensitized.
Carnal nature is a monster,
That’s eats away everything,
Till I’m dead inside.
Till I’m dead inside.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Washing my brain with intrusive thoughts,
Could drop kick a baby,
Ain’t got no heart.
Carnal nature overtaking me,
Feel like dissecting animals into little parts.
Cause I was deemed a monster,
Before I ever learned my A,B, C’s.
So, much for the world being my oyster.
Had a teacher try to diagnose me with ODD and ADD,
Are you kidding me?
Jump in front of a car head first,
Got me believing my dark skin got me cursed!
Can things get any worse?
Believing I am the reason my parents divorced.
Got bullied without remorse.
According to statistics I’ll end in jail or a hearse.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Fall in line like an admiral, ten hut.
Let’s get to it, follow like an animal, nine mutt.
Shut up and take it, don’t break, unless you ain’t cut.
But it’ll be a mistake to give up, even if you gotta fight in the seventh front.
Like an allied shinobi, gotta use your inner sixth sense and enjoy the hunt.
Roger, five by five, time to take em out for lunch.
Find the high ground like kenobi, don’t try for stunts.
Four sheets to the wind, consuming Captain Crunch.
***** comes in three’s, wonder what demon imma bout to confront.
But I’ll stay second to none, not about to back down to no dunce.
Sometimes fighting is a must.
Gotta be defending those you love and trust.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

Hurry up maggot,
In a slurry, mopping my failures.
Drop and give me twenty squats.
Bury my emotions, bottling up the pressures.
Plenty of traumas keep me frozen in knots.
Numbing it with oxytocin, pain becoming pleasure.
Withdraw the clip on the terrorists.
In withdrawal discarding things I treasured.
Recovery is futile, for I am where the terror is.
Coming to a home unknown, love should’ve cherished it.
Not empathetic to the rot, I’m infested with.
Became a solid snake, and I got to live with it.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

Rolling up to the joint,
Smoked mirrors,
Fogged perspective,
Disappearing amongst the crowd.
***** loud.
But I don’t mind.
Cause it removes the negativity within the mind.
The joint helps rewind the clock,
Beaming to the sky.
Can’t tell if I’m about to meet God or Spock?

Rolling, smoking, token child.
Bowling, inhaling and blowing out fire like a dragon.
Yo lighten up, pour the liquor.
Drown that inner broken child.
Don’t think about it,
Let’s get wild.

Having a bowl, no cheerios.
Taking more hits than a D&D dice roll.
Chip, chip, cheerio.
Ain’t into football, but I do love the superbowl.
Trapped in an unending scenario.
But I gotta do what I gots to do to not feel low.
Yo, turn up the stereo.
Stick with the flow.
Cruising along in a Camaro.
In an attempt to escape the black hole.
Woah, don’t ruin the glow.
Take another hit, get up and go.
Until ya return to nostalgic times,
When the only frustrating thing in life…
Was playing banjo.

Rolling, smoking, token child.
Bowling, inhaling and blowing out fire like a dragon.
Yo lighten up, pour the liquor.
Drown that inner broken child.
Don’t think about it,
Let’s get wild.