Pain internalized,
Trauma within the eyes,
With regret lying behind,
A disguised smile unrecognized.
Even by the specialized.
Wonder if you can sympathize?
With a society trying to stabilize,
What they see as animalized.
Creating a society that is demoralized.
That steals children with intentions,
To indoctrinize.  
Experimenting regardless of the savage cries.
Because soon they will be whitenized.
And will be normalized.
Numb to the pain and cast aside.
Having their culture sold and commercialized.
And if they protest they are taken out,
Like they were pests and the RCMP was the pesticide.

Why can’t they hear the cries?
Why won’t they listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe they are just too deaf, dumb, and blind.

Identity compromised,
Fear got us paralyzed,
With our livelihoods stigmatized,
Fought in world wars,
But had our status demised.
Thought we were allies?
Jailed yet enfranchised.
There is no land of the free.
When even our blood quantum,
Is categorized.
I guess it’s not just the revolution,
That is un-televised.
Yet we always hear,
How many times do we have to apologize?
Just get over it.
Get a job and live healthy lives.
Unable to sympathize,
With those tyrannized.
And traumatized.
Unable to hear the cries.
Of those who have and still are,
Losing their lives.
Which got me asking?

Why can’t you hear the cries?
Why won’t you listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe you’re just too deaf, dumb and blind!

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.

Thinking bout better days,
While sipping lemonade,
As the sunset serenades,
Feeling fabulous like a free bird,
Call me Michael Hayes.
If haters is yapping,
They bout catch a fade.
Life’s full of ups and downs,
So, ya gotta know how,
To surf them waves.
For the devil be lurking,
Ready to ruin your day.
So, I pray to the father.
For protection everyday.
Because I know if I don’t,
It will marinate.
Within my mind.
And keep me blind.
Trapped within the confines.
Of the lies stated by those that chastised.
And undermined my identity.
Lies that became truths.
That poisoned my security.
That for years I believed had no remedy.
Leashed to the black dog,
That was slowly killing me.
Because I lost sight of the real me.
They say we are who we choose to be,
But I don’t fully agree.
Especially when many with power and privilege,
Never have to face the same disparities.
As those within the minority.
But I also believe,
We have a responsibility.
To ourselves and our communities.
To stop the cycles of toxicity.

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.

Love and a Hug
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
I don’t wear a mask,
Yet I feel like such a fake.
This is a sad story,
Of a boy as fragile as a paper plate.
Who longs to be merry like Kate.
And dreams about marrying a girl,
But that girl would rather date Blake.
What kind of name is Blake?
Why it always some guy named Blake?
Maybe it’s because I don’t climb mountains.
That’s why girls always tell me to take a hike.
They say love is a tightrope,
But I’m afraid of heights.
Yeah.
They say love is a highway,
But I’m like a deer in the headlights.
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
This is a story of a boy,
Who may be grown up.
But isn’t quite a man.
A story that is real,
And oh, oh, oh, sad.
A boy who never fully learned.
From the experiences that he had.
A boy who grew up without a dad.
Yet still became like him,
Because to his son he is a nomad.
A person never really there.
Who wonders if he cuts his wrists,
Would his father even care?
A boy who feels like Bon Jovi,
Because he’s living on a prayer.
Wondering how to repair,
What’s broken but isn’t there.
While trying not to the succumb,
The temptations of a beer,
That would temporarily make his pain disappear.
But knows it’ll just lead to the continued,
Cycle of despair.
So, instead he went to therapy,
To combat the dragons lair.
A story turned to redemption,
By shifting gears.
And there may be times,
That I still need some love & a hug.
But that’s okay because I’m not perfect.

I’m so tired of saying I fine!
When that’s not how I feel inside.
Please don’t force me to lie.
Know that I’m trying.
Smiling yet feel like dying.
Don’t mind me.
It’s just the pain I be carrying.

Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Sun is shining,
Yet it feels like rain.
Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Flowers are blooming,
Yet all I see is decay.

Wish you didn’t have to see me like this,
I’m just thankful that it’s me and not you,
That’s going through this!
Wish you didn’t have to see me like this,
But I’m thankful you’re not the one,
Who fell into the abyss.

But don’t mind me.
I’m just tired of saying I’m fine.
When that’s not how I feel inside.
Please don’t force me to lie.
Know that I’m trying.
Smiling yet feel like dying.
Don’t mind me.
It’s just the pain I be carrying.

Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Sun is shining,
Yet it feels like rain.
Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Flowers are blooming,
Yet all I see is decay.

Faux pas, my bad, my fault.
Trying to be perfect, I’m not.
Heart gnaws, it aches, it stings like salt.
Shoulda kept it hidden, in a vault.
Curse words, traverse through my thoughts.
And they haunt.
I’m trapped, I’m caught.
Depressions at the door, didn’t even knock.
When will this nightmare finally stop?
Wondering how I can delete it?
Like ctrl alt.
So, I can live long and prosperous like Spock.

But don’t mind me.
I’m just tired of saying I’m fine.
When that’s not how I feel inside.
Please don’t force me to lie.
Know that I’m trying.
Smiling yet feel like dying.
Don’t mind me.
It’s just the pain I be carrying.

Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Sun is shining,
Yet it feels like rain.
Why can’t it be okay?
To not be okay?
Flowers are blooming,
Yet all I see is decay.

Could paint a picture with words,
Writing verses yawl never heard.
Take some time to observe.
Cause you’ll never know what you’ll learn.
Whether yawl stay grounded like an ant,
Or soaring through the air like a bird.
Taking steps forward is like watering a plant.
In order to grow,
It’s not about where you’ve been,
But where you’re at.
And I ain’t gonna lie,
Sometimes you might hit a set back,
But as they say life ain’t always gift wrapped.
Got to know when to take a break, and have a Kit Kat.
For stress, anxiety and depression, will only leave you trapped.
In a cycle of been there, done that.
Which can become a toxic habitat.
And trust me when I say,
It’s really hard to overcome that.
Especially when ones mind has been highjacked.
By the words of others,
That can pin you down to the mat.
For the one, two, three.
Where is that referee?
That be trying to **** on me?
Like I’m Ted Dibiase!
But seriously,
How do we,
Start cleaning up the debris,
That is taking up free,
Space within our minds, thoughts and dreams?
Well the answer will differ for both you and me.
Depending on what healing means.

Depression is like a dark cloud to my Eeyore,
That takes away my joy,
Like it was a **** repossession.
And just like Thor,
For so long I felt unworthy,
But maybe I just gotta endure some hardships,
To receive eternal glory.
Like it states in verse 2 of second Timothy.
Been writing verses even before therapy sessions,
Where my pain turned to lessons,
And those lessons turned to weapons,
But what matters is how you invest them.
So, tell me…
Will you die stressing or digesting?
When faced with barriers, that block ones progression?
I remember how…
I used to think my scars lessened my value,
Yeah, I used think tears weakened my value,
Thinking I was unworthy of a breakthrough.
But sometimes you gotta enter forests,
And battle terrain to attain a mountain view.

Police fronting blue lives matter,
What are they some type of smurfs?
Treating minorities like they Gargamel,
Not even wizards yet we treated like a curse.
Can shoot us in the back, pretending all is well.
And go back home for some dessert.
Than the next day go to church,
To praise and yell.
Yet can’t hear us yelling for air,
When they knees on our necks,
What part of that is to serve and protect?
We are taught to respect authority,
Yet can’t keep in check?
But when power is left unchecked,
It becomes corrupt.
And for a department of corrections.
It certainly is anything but correct.
When they be jailing innocents,
Simply because their colour, makes them the usual suspect.
It shouldn’t be like this.
But in this world, the simple fact is.
That there ain’t no true justice.
For people like us.

But maybe in the next life!
Yeah maybe in the next life.
Things will be alright.
Things will be alright.
So, here’s to the next life.
Here’s to next life.

A life where I no longer worry,
About people following me,
In stores because their convinced,
Imma start stealing.
A life where I no longer worry,
About cooperating with my hands up,
Wondering if the officer is gonna shoot me.
In the back of my head than claim they did it defensively.
Getting away with ****** in the first degree.
And being able to come back home to their families.
Unlike the lost souls they took out discrliminintly.
I know that not all cops are bad,
However, they do have a gang like mentality.
By that I mean.
They defend each other’s actions even if they are guilty.
And justify it as loyalty.
I call it corruption and disgusting,
But maybe that’s just me?
And truthfully if good cops defend bad cops,
That makes them just as bad in my opinion G.
It’s like watching a bully continue to bully.
And not doing or saying something.

But maybe in the next life!
Yeah maybe in the next life.
Things will be alright.
Things will be alright.
So, here’s to the next life.
Here’s to next life.