Sweet whispers, flutter in ears.
A gentle breeze wonders near.
Guided by spirits.

A tranquil embrace.
That shelters from fear.
Soon a path becomes clear.

Follow the whispers.
Through the trees.
Light instilled in serenity.

To a home meant for me.
A place that is like a dream.
So I rest forevermore.

Sometimes my mind feels trapped in a fog,
A fog filled with guilt and shame.
A fog that seemed so pure,
When I was insecure.
I couldn’t escape the allure.
Of the mature.
A lust that only took,
Leaving me empty.
It was like a crook,
Robbed and stabbed me.
Was left wounded, bleeding badly.
Felt so ashamed, that I isolated from friends and family.
Which then spiralled me into a depression,
I was so suicidal, went to church but gave no confession.
For how could I talk to God,
When I felt like a demon?
How could I say I respected women,
When I was fiending?
With toxic desires,
That drove fast like street cars.
My soul felt like it was on fire,
And in the mirror all I saw was a monster.
Wondering if it isn’t too late to turn back,
After my red heart turned black.
For I’ve been so lost in this fog for so long,
Searching for hope to keep moving on.
While also praying for strength to hold on.
But every day it’s a struggle,
With a new hurdle.
And sometimes I still fall flat on my face,
But life is a journey, and I will finish this race!
No longer will I let this fog keep me in place,
No longer will I let myself be as fragile as a vase.
For I know my worth,
And I have faith.
That this demon can become an angel once again.

The wind goes and flows,
Sometimes it just pulls and rips,
Like waves of the ocean,
Not really sure what you’re going to get.
The wind can plant a soft kiss,
Then the next moment spread lies real quick.
The wind can roar like a lion but go out with a whisper.
The wind a phenomenon that can’t be captured.
But felt, heard, and smelt.
Is the wind truly real?

However,
I am jealous of the wind.
I long to be as free as the wind.
With no cares.
To glide through the sky.
Where time passes by, but I don’t age.
The wind, where does it come from?
Where does it go?
Oh, the adventures the wind must experience.
To explore without boundaries.
Or have to face discrimination.
I am so envious of the wind.

I tried calling but you don’t seem to be there,
Perhaps you don’t care.
As I sit here in despair.
Lost it all, now I’m bare.
Chained in shackles,
As the whips crackle,
Ripple across my flesh.
Wondering if this is a test.
It’s says that you give weary people rest.
Lying in dirt waiting to be blessed.
Waiting to be refreshed,
In your healing waters.
Anticipating your mercy,
When you bring down that ladder.
For I’m caged in regret,
Imprisoned by my shame.
As I’m squished by debt,
With only myself to blame.
Calling but no answer,
Getting persecuted so badly that I’m starting to long for the slaughter.
What I’d do to switch places with Job’s sons and daughters.
Why should an innocent man be ruined by spiteful two-faced accusers?
Whose lies that have placed me in grave danger.
And lord I’m trying my best not to be quick to anger.
So, I stay silent for your answer.
As life is temporary,
And your plans are far greater,
Far greater than that deserving of a commoner.
Like me.
May your grace shine down on me,
May you exceed abundantly all I can ask or think.
And may give strength where I am weak.
And may my sleep give me peace.
When I’m alone and things seem bleak.
May my tongue not taste defeat.
Provide me with water so that I may wash your feet.
For when there was famine,
You gave me wheat.
When I was freezing in the wilderness,
You provided shelter and heat.
So, although I am imprisoned.
I have already been released.
As long as you are with me,
No chains can hold me.
As long as you are with me,
The devil has no authority to **** me.
As long as I trust,
My enemies will be crushed.
But for now I wait,
For a timing so perfect.
But for now I wait,
Because I know it’ll be worth it.

Trying my best not to get mixed in with the wrong crowd,
Making choices to forget twisted messages that come from pride.
That say what’s wrong with just...
This or that.
It’s not like doing something wrong is going to give ya a heart attack.
But my heart in fact is like an artifact.
Fragile, so I protect it to keep my heart in tact.
Can’t overcome with a hack and slash mindset.
Can’t overcome by doing what I’ve done before.
Relying on my own strength or on gadgets.
But instead being instilled with hope and love that goes deeper than metaphors.
Even when sometimes my pain hits harder than a meteor.
But I will keep fighting for,
A strength that only comes from my core.
Because I know my self worth is worth more.
Than the adoration or encore of others,
That never once bore,
An ounce of wealth to the poor.
The same ones that only used me for,
Their own gain or reward.
But I thank the lord,
For if it wasn’t for him I’d be hanging from a cord.
I thank the lord,
For being my sword,
Filling me with reassuring words.
Whose grace and mercy I can’t afford.
No, I can’t afford.
Oh, I can’t afford.

When the waves come,
I stay steadfast,
When the storms come,
I don’t hide.
When I feel like a slave you free me.
When I feel worthless,
You fill me with your spirit.
So, as long as I still breath.
I will thank you.
So, as long as I still breath,
I will praise you.

When it was dark,
You gave me light,
When I was blinded,
You gave me sight,
Even when I blamed you,
You continued to say “I still love you”,
Even when I abandoned you,
You continued to say “ I’m always with you”.
Lord I can’t afford.
Oh, I can’t afford.
Your grace and mercy.
When I feel like you should curse me.
For so long I was a dead man walking,
Till you said “drop everything and follow me”.
For so long I was a dead man walking,
Till you gave a life and a purpose to someone like me.
Someone so undeserving.
Someone so broken and weary.
A thankless person who was always sinning.
When I was blind, you helped me see.
You gave me a foundation.
When I was sinking.
You gave me a heart to help this nation.
When I was idling.
So, in the times...

When the waves come,
I stay steadfast,
When the storms come,
I don’t hide.
When I feel like a slave you free me.
When I feel worthless,
You fill me with your spirit.
So, as long as I still breath.
I will thank you.
So, as long as I still breath,
I will praise you.

Trying my best not to drown,
Praying for better days,
While the devil tries to hold me down,
Wondering if there is a better way.
Is there a better way?

I hear the voices of the discriminated,
The voices of those exploited.
Voices like mine, hurting.
It’s for certain, that being coloured is deemed a burden.
With so many blind of what’s kept behind the curtain.
Living in a society where ya can be seen as a terrorist for wearing a turban.
Living in a society driven to the point of retribution.
But at least some of these protests have worked hard to end exploitation.
Exploitation of wealth,
Exploitation from prostitution,
Exploitation of our health.
Exploitation of our founding constitutions.
Everything has a boiling point,
So why is everyone surprised that we are in a fight?
It’s sad that we are living in a democracy without rights.
Living in a democracy where many are not sure we’ll see the sunset.
And I know when some people hear this truth they will get upset.
Telling minorities to just forget.
But we will never forget as long as police still **** us in public!
Oh ****!

But don’t mind me as I’m just...
Trying my best not to drown,
Praying for better days,
While the devil tries to hold me down,
Wondering if there is a better way.
Is there a better way?

Alright... listen.
Without body cams,
Cops basically have free ****** badges,
Struggling for justice but get silenced like the lambs,
Or they be putting us in ghettos chocking us to death with taxes,
I wouldn’t be surprised if this system was actually run by the ku klux ****!
But saying this is some how deemed blasphemous.
Yet a minorities lifespan,
Is statistically lower, but apparently that’s not blasphemous.
Why does our colour turn us into the bogeyman?
Why does our journey have to more treacherous?
Who do I believe in man?
I thought God was supposed to deliver us?
From evil yet all I see is Sons of Sam.
****.
All I see are Sons of Sam.
And I know when some people hear this truth they will get upset.
Telling minorities to just forget.
But we will never forget as long as police keep trying to **** us in secret.
Oh ****.

But don’t mind me as I’m just...
Trying my best not to drown,
Praying for better days,
While the devil tries to hold me down,
Wondering if there is a better way.
Is there a better way?

I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself,
I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself.

Look, pain be creeping,
And my endorphins be sleeping.
I want love but I’m scared to love,
Because in the past I’ve been so broken.
Yeah and I’m still shaking,
With my Mental health taking a toll.
My heart is acking,
If love was a marathon I’m would be at a crawl.
Trying to fall in love but I always land face first,
Am I meant for happiness or am I just cursed.
To die alone,
To cry alone,
Everything I do alone,
Is it just too much ask for a loving voice emitting from the other side of the phone?
I just want love,
But can’t stand rejection,
I ain’t looking for perfection,
Lord knows I’m anything but,
Anything but,
All I want is love,
Longing for someone that understands.
I just want love,
Someone I can walk with through this path called life.
Hand in hand.
Just some real love.
None of that fake ****.

I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself,
I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself.

I want someone to trust,
But I can’t seem to trust myself.
How far down must one fall,
Before they cry for help.
That what I ask myself.
Tell me is worth it?
Tell me are you really worth it?
Tell me your intentions, what’s the purpose?
They say love is hell,
But I’d rather be there with someone other than by myself.
That’s real.
Nothing in life is easy.
Nor would I want it to be.
I just need,
I just want,
I just wish,
Can’t I just be selfish for once?
Can’t I be happy for once?
To laugh,
To cry,
To kiss someone else good night,
And then wake up with them still there.
****, maybe I’m just asking for too much.
Been abandoned too much.
And push those that get to close.
Because I’m scared of being hurt again,
Scared to be left again,
Scared to rely on someone who may let me down again.
Scared to pour out my soul just for to be thrown out like some bath water...
I’m just scared.
But I also know I gotta test those oceans again.
To face those rains and winds again.
But this time choose someone better suited to survive these waves with.
In order to not drown again.