I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself,
I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself.

Look, pain be creeping,
And my endorphins be sleeping.
I want love but I’m scared to love,
Because in the past I’ve been so broken.
Yeah and I’m still shaking,
With my Mental health taking a toll.
My heart is acking,
If love was a marathon I’m would be at a crawl.
Trying to fall in love but I always land face first,
Am I meant for happiness or am I just cursed.
To die alone,
To cry alone,
Everything I do alone,
Is it just too much ask for a loving voice emitting from the other side of the phone?
I just want love,
But can’t stand rejection,
I ain’t looking for perfection,
Lord knows I’m anything but,
Anything but,
All I want is love,
Longing for someone that understands.
I just want love,
Someone I can walk with through this path called life.
Hand in hand.
Just some real love.
None of that fake ****.

I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself,
I just want to be loved,
But I can’t even love myself.

I want someone to trust,
But I can’t seem to trust myself.
How far down must one fall,
Before they cry for help.
That what I ask myself.
Tell me is worth it?
Tell me are you really worth it?
Tell me your intentions, what’s the purpose?
They say love is hell,
But I’d rather be there with someone other than by myself.
That’s real.
Nothing in life is easy.
Nor would I want it to be.
I just need,
I just want,
I just wish,
Can’t I just be selfish for once?
Can’t I be happy for once?
To laugh,
To cry,
To kiss someone else good night,
And then wake up with them still there.
****, maybe I’m just asking for too much.
Been abandoned too much.
And push those that get to close.
Because I’m scared of being hurt again,
Scared to be left again,
Scared to rely on someone who may let me down again.
Scared to pour out my soul just for to be thrown out like some bath water...
I’m just scared.
But I also know I gotta test those oceans again.
To face those rains and winds again.
But this time choose someone better suited to survive these waves with.
In order to not drown again.

Sometimes I feel so low,
Other times I feel so high,
Bi-polar emotions causing varied reactions,
The chemistry inside of me sure can get taxing,
Wishing I could sit back and start relaxing,
But when anxiety strikes,
When depression strikes,
It’s like I’m on a roller coaster,
Been burnt so much might as well call me a toaster,
People say I need a wake up call but I ain’t got me no rooster,
I got so much to offer yet I can’t help but feel like a loser,
Growing up in sewers...
Man should’ve known I’d be treated like a monster.
I can’t even go out shopping without hearing freeze buster,
We got you surrounded with blasters and helicopters.
****, man I was just trying to buy me some milk and cereal,
Racial profiling in 2020, is this for real?
Just because my skins coloured doesn’t mean imma steal,
Just because my skins coloured doesn’t mean I’m out to ****.
I’m just trying to make a living in flawed system,
That could showcase all my slaughtered ancestors fossils in a museum,
Tell me again how my ethnicity is deemed the problem?
No wonder I feel so low,
Wanting to get real high,
To cope with how I’m seen as a crow,
A vermin that needs to get shot down from the sky.
Sometimes I just want to cry,
Other times I want to die,
Which makes me ask...
Why are yawl surprised that minorities mental health issues are on the rise?
Instead of being hanged by rope we are hanged by ties.
With jail houses becoming the new slave trade franchise.
Becoming objectified in thee eyes,
Till the humanity is drained out,
In order to become “civilized”.
Such is the divide that separates the haves and have nots.
Putting them in asylums and using therapies that literally shock.
Throwing stones and slander, saying we are a cancer.
And that we need to get over it, expecting us to say Oakley Dokley like we ******* Ned Flanders.
Can humanity get more low,
And can racial tensions get any more high?
How long will we remain ignorant,
Believing corporations lies?
How many more have to die?
Tell me how many have to die!

I just can’t breathe,
This world is so cold man,
Sometimes I just can’t believe.
For so long I’ve been so afraid man.
To open up about what it’s like to live in a world filled with hate.
Sometimes I dream about making a great escape.
For I just feel imprisoned,
Which is ironic when society treats me like I’m some ape.
If only I could eat at the same table and eat the same food on nice plates.
As those who never think twice,
Of the privilege that obscures their vision like the three blind mice.
I guess it’s too much to ask for a voice,
Just a product of my environment,
Do I really have a choice?
I’ve had to fight for my slice,
Graduated in 16 yet once I step outside I lose all my civil rights.
This **** ain’t right,
That racism still persists like how the **** does society sleep at night?
It’s like everyday is nightmare,
And people in power they don’t fight fair.
I’m a God fearing man yet somehow my skin colour gives police a scare,
Knock my out *** without remorse or even a care.
And if they choose to shoot me or strangle me how does that restore peace or rapport?
Like all your going to accomplish is a ******* race war!

Gotta love these perfect imperfections,
Looking both ways,
Always got me second guessing.
Wondering if this is all just a lesson.

Is this all just a lesson?
Got so many goals but I’m just not that invested.
Writing down all these words,
Hoping they are effective,
Love me or hate me but I’m still my biggest critique,
And anxiety got me spinning more out of control than a fidget,
With existential crisis’s filling up my brain with so many questions.
Who am I really? How good is my intentions.
I have a very passionate soul,
Yet I can still be crippled by depression.
But I try to stay positive and count all of my blessings.
I can fall face first over a hundred times,
But still get back up each time more determined and strengthened.
I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing gets done by just stressing,
For I need to discern the lessons from these seasons.
And knowing when to reach out to others when it feels like I’m sinking.
Trust me when I say you just gotta hold on and keep breathing.
Hold on and keep breathing.

Gotta love these perfect imperfections,
Looking both ways,
Always got me second guessing,
Wondering if this all just a lesson?

Is this all just a lesson?
I may not know where this road is headed,
Trusting these lyrics bring hope to those that feel neglected.
For I know how it feels to be disjointed from a society that just doesn’t get it.
Which may make you feel like you just want to end it,
For the pain is just so far embedded,
And if you’re skin is coloured your left unprotected.
Prescribed drugs that are either force fed or injected.
However, I refuse to be controlled or to be tormented,
Nor do I care if people are offended,
For I will decide where I’m headed,
And I will never sacrifice my objectives!
No longer will I be subjected as a suspect to be tested.
You can try to strip me naked,
But you can’t strip my individuality or my perspectives!
I’ve come to love my perfect imperfections,
And to count all of my blessings.
Even when I feel like I’m drowning,
I’ll will hold on and keep breathing.

Gotta love these perfect imperfections,
Looking both ways,
Always got me second guessing,
Wondering if this all just a lesson?
Is this all just a lesson?

Gotta love these perfect imperfections,
Looking both ways,
Always got me second guessing,
Wondering if this all just a lesson?
Either way I’m thankful for these lessons.

In these valleys I tally these fallacies,
Just a casualty of existence.
In these valleys I wallow like a willow I’m hallow,
Just an anomaly that survives by persistence.

Through the dark I pray for sparks,
In the day I’m flooded wishing for Noah’s ark.
Depression sure hits harder than a step father,
But because I’m a guy society can’t be bothered.
Sometimes I just wish I could be a martyr like Martin Luther King.
For like him I have a dream,
That one day that happiness isn’t defined as having all the cream.
For you can have it all yet be the loneliest and most miserable King or Queen.
Yeah I have a dream,
That the people in the world will cut off their puppet strings.
For there is just so much we don’t know that’s keep behind the scenes.
Yeah I got a dream,
That skin colour doesn’t bias towards condemnation but instead towards true freedom.
To going anywhere without fear of being gunned down because of residing in a corrupt system.
That was programmed by powerful white privileged white mon,
That scapegoats minorities as a nuance and a problem.
But I have a dream, yeah I got a dream.
That my future children can grow up in a world without persecution.
That my future children can grow up without the barriers of a system engrained with racism.
Yeah I got a dream, oh I got a dream.

Even through the valleys where I count all these fallacies I will not let go of my dreams.
Even if I’m just a casualty of existence I will fight for my dreams.
Even if I feel hollow like a willow that wallows I will scream for my dreams.
Even if I’m an anomaly, my persistence will follow me to attain all my dreams.

Tranquil melodies swing back and forth,
Peaceful fairies spring like flowers bloom.
Faithful gnomes protect ones house.
From vengeful spirits with razor filled mouths.

Wonderful bliss, if only I wasn’t locked up like this.
Oh, how I miss those sweet kisses from Ms.Sun.
Those gentle breezes that rock me to sleep.
Or the green pastures that blankets my falls.

You can put on your best face,
You can put on your best smile,
You can laugh really hard,
You can tell jokes all day long,
But yet still be broken inside.
But yet still feel lonely.
But yet still be feeling depression.

You can put on all the make up you want.
But unable to fully cover up all the scars or bruises.
You can climb the highest mountains,
Yet your soul can still be trapped in the valley.

The say fake it till you make it.
But you can fake it all your life and never make it.
You can look like your blessed,
Yet feel miserable and cursed.

Never judge books by their covers.