Classy J

Classy J Jul 2018

1 shot, 2 shot, 3shot 4 so many gun shots it’s become the norm. 1 shot, 2 shot, 3shot 4 if killing innocent coloured brothers was an arcade game white man would have the high score. 1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot 4 how many of my brothers have to die till we say no more? Why do we search for missing whites for months and coloured folk for only hours or a couple days? Privilege does exist so if you disagree you can **** a ****. For ignorant ******* like you make me sick! Division is obscuring our vision. Do we have to enter another recession to become more human? For Violence, violence, violence that’s all we’re about! Violence, violence, violence is the only thing the news talks about!

Glorifying ******, glorifying the killer but not sympathizing with the victim. Thoughts and prayers without actions until we forget about that certain victim. Moving on to the next juicy story, for we’ve become desensitized to these horror stories. Repeating the same problems, and wondering why we can’t solve em. But the hard truth is we don’t want to solve em, for we are lazy and are just hoping someone else will solve em. Holy ****,why God? ******* I’m just saddened and without balance like a camera on a broken tripod! What’s the point! What’s my purpose? Why can’t people see beyond the surface? I’m just anxious and nervous because I might be the next in the grave, for I already got one foot in it and if I don’t give in to it does that make me brave? Maybe I should end it all myself, but I have to think about more than just myself! I’m just selfish and a narcissist, and I wish I wasn’t such a pessimist! I’ve become the thing I hate which is being complacent, for I’ve lost touch with reality in fact I’ve become indifferent.

Who cares if we exist on purpose or by mistake! Just live life to the fullest and try to give more than take. For life might be bad but not as bad as someone else’s, so make a difference in their life until it’s your time to smell the roses. Parental advisory displayed on me, for I might challenge outdated traditions that society engrained on thee. So if I’m the villain without penicillin I guess I ***** your eardrums and deserve to be displayed as heartless like I’m some kind of tin man. So here I go off to see the psychiatrist again, for I’m dictating this ***** like I’m Kaiser Wilhelm the second!

Everyone is a critic but **** it I’ll keep spitting the prophetic. For I see the pain yeah man and I see the corruption, and you bet I got an appetite for restoration. For destruction has caused this rift between the races, but I hope we can repair all our ancestors’ despicable messes. Messes that still hinder us today, messes that won’t go away unless we stand together starting today.

Classy J Jul 2018

Isolated and Shunned

Slipping again into depression, spending money I don’t have on my addictions.
Losing grip with my own generation, losing sight of happiness because I’m stuck with these afflictions.
Numbing the pain, slicing away hoping I don’t hit a vein.
Getting lost in lust, losing my trust...
In people, in myself, in democracy, in police, and in policies. Questioning reality, questioning our supposed diversity.
Not seeing the good news, for society only reporting the blues. ******, ****, terrorism, domestic abuse, corruption, it’s all the same every day so sorry if I can’t escape this pessimistic prism.
Getting lost in monotony, getting lost in this rigged monopoly that ***** over minorities.
Getting lost in double edged sword hypocrisy, getting lost in propaganda and blasphemy.

Isolated and shunned, getting gunned down for nothing! Isolated and shunned, oh look another coloured boy on the run!
Watching the continuation of misogyny, watching the continuation of racist alt-right white supremacy.
Watching without speaking, watching without acting. Isolated and shunned, getting gunned down for nothing!
Isolated and shunned, oh look another coloured boy on the run! Slipping away, trying to get away, but I can’t get away!
Just when I think I’m done I get pulled back in. So to deal with this ******* my addictions surface again!
Getting lost in the gin, getting lost in sin.
Trying my best to be of the world, but I always find myself caught up within it!
I want to be an inspiration but I probably disappoint all of yawl and end up like Kurt cobain.

I feel like to fix a soulless world I gotta sacrifice my soul.
I feel like no matter what I do or say people will only see me as a crazy disillusioned fool.
I think change is possible but humanity isn’t willing to change which makes understanding impossible.
Education causes people to question the status quo but society can’t get enough of the status quo.
Because it’s a threat on everything privileged dominant society created, so they try their best to evaporate it.

Isolated and shunned, getting gunned down for nothing!
Isolated and shunned, oh look another coloured boy on the run! Watching the continuation of misogyny, watching the continuation of racist alt-right white supremacy.
Watching without speaking, watching without acting.
Isolated and shunned, getting gunned down for nothing!
Isolated and shunned, oh look another coloured boy on the run!

Classy J Jul 2018

Emergence

Twisted mind like a tainted vine; truth confined in a sea of lies. If only I realized these lies as I lay down betrayed.
They treat me like an intrusive loser, get to jobbing then fade away into obscurity like bastion ******.
I once tried to search for myself but got lost along the way. I once tried to look at my reflection but it turned away.
Shattered perception, scattered pieces of memories replaced by delusion.
Forgot myself in all the confusion, all for fame or acceptance so I became this hollow substitution.
Invisible to myself and others, and I can’t even sleep at night because I realized I’m really the monster under the covers.
Tried praying to the holy father, but I ain’t got no call back so why did I even bother?
I’m lost and afraid, so I write another verse hoping all these feelings will fade.
Just a snap of the fingers like I’m thanos, because I can’t handle of these ******* ignorant gringos.
Tried going to a logos program, but gosh **** they even more of a problem.
Eating lunches with my shadow, and it feels like I’m stuck in the middle of ocean with no rowing boat or paddle!

Hook: Seems like I’ve almost had enough, but you be stupid if you think I’m giving up! I’m almost up that hill now, I’m almost free now, I’m almost able to see that real me now. Yeah!

Trying to find a reason to continue to rhyme or find a rhyme that will bring out my reason.
The reason to keep going, the reason to keep reaching and dreaming. So I write verse after verse till it rehearsed.
Cant tell if this is a gift or a curse?
So I continue to going different directions like embers from a fire, and it is for that reason that I’ll never retire!
I will never know unless I try, and I will never be a good father if I don’t let my past hurt die.
I need to cross that edge and take a leap of faith, for staying stagnant is a waste of my breath.
I know it won’t be easy, but life’s not supposed to be easy!
Got to face my Goliath will only a few pebbles and a sling shot and give it all I got.
I only have my self to blame or praise for overcoming these burdens, For life is a long play and I’m not ready to let down the curtains.

Hook: Seems like I’ve almost had enough, but you be stupid if you think I’m giving up! I’m almost up that hill now, I’m almost free now, I’m almost able to see that real me now. Yeah!

Classy J Jul 2018

Awoken Mind

Going in cashing the check, releasing my breath cause I know soon I'll be outta debt. So many regrets, with so many effected by my mindset. I'm sorry i'm not a pastor, i'm sorry that I am not a positive rapper, I'm sorry for not factoring in your feelings and pretending like it didn't even matter. I wish I could just pay my out, I wish I could just figure out what i'm all about. Am I for or against the people? Am I helping those in need or am I too busy to high up on my steeple? Am I truly a class act? Am I truly spitting the honest hitting facts? Questioning my self, hating myself, wanting a purpose and a happy future for myself. Has the dollar become my God? Has the scholar become a corrupt facade? So focused on making the dough, spending that dough, banging another ***, smocking that blow, putting on a show, but haven't really grown. Wow! Realizing that the money doesn't really matter/ Realizing that I am not my own master. For when I'm slipping I find myself leaning up against Jacob's ladder. I don't deserve forgiveness, I deserve the hammer, I deserve to live in disaster. But by grace I have not been splattered, but by grace I have not been shattered! I don't know why? For I am not worth anything like an ant or a fly. At least that's what I convince myself of, for the voice in my head tells me that I'll never enter the pearly gates above. It tells me i should just give up, It tells me to just shut up. It reinforces the notions of people who hate me, It deflates me, It takes me down a valley of death and says that no one will help me. I know my future will be bright and that for right now I have to rome throughout the night. But it's alright as long as I don't lose sight. I know the world is crumbling apart for it is a result of our own misguided choices, I know it's because others have believed their own deceiving voices. It's not a matter of faith, or race, or gender but by our own selfish flesh. We are like an old virus filled computer, we just need to be fixed and modified and refreshed.

Classy J May 2018

Arms For The Poor

Arms For The Poor; Been here before.
Harm to opportunities when I try to find what i'm looking for but no matter for society has locked up all them doors.
Tried to use charm and it wasn't effective, tried to show love but that's just seen as pathetic.
Living on the streets naked; can you please spare some change cause I need a change of circumstance if i'm going to continue to make it.
Land of tragedy; land of systematic racism that barricades coloured people like me.
Please sir, please ma'am won't you help me? No you won't and if you say yes it's just a publicity stunt for in reality you don't care about me.
See me as a rat. Be careful everyone stand back. Arrest me, Shoot me, jail me, **** me, shame me, blame me, parade me around like the King of jews and you wonder why we still messed up Homie?
Arms For The Poor; Been here before.
Laden in chains, cursing my name, chastising me because of where my ancestors came.
Speaking up for myself but it's all in vain; **** Mr.White man yawl won't ever understand this pain!
******* up with out-dated jim crow policies that we still use today, tell me when did apparently civilized people become anything but civilized ese?
Tell me when did humanity become so evil? And no I don't want you to go pointing to some diabolical apple!
Tell me why we keep this rigged status quo?
Tell me why coloured people have to live in woe?
Arms For The Poor, Been here before.
Arms For The Poor, Been here before.
Please can I have something more?
Please can you stop treating us like **** ***** ******?
All I ask is for true freedom! For true equality! For true liberty! For chance to show you that I have the ability and capability!

Classy J Apr 2018

What Ever Happened Too...?

What happened to rap man for I can’t seem to tell? Was it all these new narcotics and having all our daddies locked up in jail?
What happened to metaphors? For just the other day My friend text me saying when he went to meet his tinder date he was disgusted that he met a four.
I’ll only say this once man; objectification of women is a ******* discrepancy! As I sit here pondering in anger saying to myself man whatever happened to common decency?
What happened to the good old days when I was just a precocious kid. Next thing ya know I’m a grown up with my very own precocious kid.
What ever happened to sitting at the table with ones family? Perhaps it’s all because of this hellish economy? What ever happened to writing our own music? Perhaps creativity doesn’t exist anymore because schools assimilate the idea that imagination is a relic?
What ever happened to red rover or redbutt? Perhaps because as parents we think our children are as fragile as peanuts. What ever happened to defending ourselves? Perhaps our backbones or ***** have been lost so with no where to go some just give up and hang themselves.
Whatever happened to morals? Perhaps we be spoiling these next generations too much that they treat us like a matter of *****. Or perhaps it’s from diagnosing everyone to being mental or disabled and in need of some adderall. I’m not sure, but I do believe we need a cure. I’m not sure what to say for I also have no answer to why we’ve become a cancer.

Classy J Apr 2018

Trapped In A Vice

Trapped In A Vice
Creeping, hope fleeting, demon awakening, hope inside draining, names in vain spoken lividly. Person in the mirror screaming, my momma praying, but it may be to late because my faith is failing. Not fully sure if I'm sure what I'm saying, for I’m just trailing off in my own discombobulated brain trying my best to not be crying. For men always have to be smiling, for your not a man if other emotions be showing. So these emotions I got to be hiding, but now I’ve become desensitized to your feelings. **** how ironic; **** better smoke me some chronic and then drink some gin and tonic.

Because that’s going to fix it however, I don't even think bob the builder can fix this ****. Drawing lines in the sand, so don't be throwing that first stone unless you've never done a sin beforehand. In which case you may show judgment, but last I checked only God could make that discernment. That being said a lot of yawl thinks ya Gods, but yawls are most likely a bunch of egotistical hollow insecure facades. No man can tell me what to do, and no man has the right to assume me to have some type of disability and for those who have how dare you. Just because I don't conform to your blasphemies and hypocritical distortions doesn't give you the right to treat me like an abortion. I am human you ******* ignoramuses, for if history were written correctly my people would be martyrs and victims whilst yours would be seen as the heinous barbaric savages.

Why is it when I speak no one listens? Why is it when I talk about atrocities people justify it by saying we had to make you Christian? For your savage life don't be working us! This may be the land of the free but there ain't no freedom for us! Who do I trust? When God turned his back? Who do I look for guidance to help me keep my life on track? Feel like just a speck man I'm feeling pathetic, so don't you give me heck if I die an addict. Drugs flowing through the blood to wash away the pain of others who have shoved our faces in the mud. We got nothing to show our next generations all because of racist appropriation and segregation. Maybe God isn't the true problem, yeah maybe it's man but all I know is **** has taken a beating to the fan.

Trying my best to look fantastic, trying my best not to cry because even if I did this world wouldn't be sympathetic. Left with forgotten culture, forgotten language, forgotten promises to treaties, and once the oil stops flowing we will become a third world country covered in feces. Don't believe me look at Hobbema, which is now known as maskwacis, which for some has become the **** of people’s jokes; like why can't people mind their own **** business? Lost in this heartless reality, just a causality of poor circumstance implemented by this ******* that Canada hasn't done anything wrong but now you know the reality. The reality is nothing will be done they'll just keep saying "sorry", and then forget us and leave us like Andy did his toys in the third toy story.