Classy J

Classy J Nov 2016

Inveigled, tangled, mangled, strangled, scrambled, dismantled, trampled, got caught by the deceitful vandal, should have known the moment I blew out my candle. So easily swayed, thought I was strong willed, but now I find myself once again walking in the shade. Sometimes I fell like I'm a human grenade, after all I am a renegade, downgraded by the world that treats my people like they a mermaid. Saturated society focusing on the wrong things, politicians so corrupt they don't even really attempt to hide their strings. Manipulating mind games that got me twisted, impersonating someone I’m not, mocking me for being gifted. Sadistic fiends making me feel so simplistic, saying my goals are unrealistic. Tilted, jilted, wilted, tempted into being wicked; how can I see the world clearly when I came into it tinted. Never fitted in, a man whose kindness was boiled away from being fed up and let out the evil buried within. This is just apart of the Diablo’s masquerade, to put me through the barren terrain, and when I feel like I’m almost through it; another barricade blocks me.

Hesitant, irrelevant, inelegant, how can you possibly be a benefit? Two steps forward, just to go two steps back, sorry this isn't the salsa jack. The only thing I hope for is to go onward and not falter too much, the only thing I hope for is to go northward and not need a doctor's medication as a crutch. There is a little Diablo in everyone, even if you own a Durango man, you aint fooling anyone. Just because you have nice things, and are able to buy diamond rings, doesn't mean anything. How is that green treating yaw? Sure it may help goldiggers sleep with yaw, but after awhile you realize that the green is like picking the smallest straw. For glory to those who are poor and meek, for they will inherit the earth, maybe you should think twice before preying on the weak. It is easier for a horse to go through the eye of a needle than it is for rich people, so though you may have it good now, just wait for the sequel. This is just apart of the Diablo’s masquerade, to put me through the barren terrain, and when I feel like I’m almost through it; another barricade blocks me.

Going up just to go down, you’re a knucklehead, might as well call you Charlie Brown. Good grief, what a relief it is to hear such a positive belief. Goodness me, I should've seen, that I shouldn't act as me, because what I do and say is deemed unclean. Let me fix my tiny flaws while your flaws take up half the galaxy, such is the blasphemy and hypocrisy of this society. Slandering, bantering, meandering, modified and manufactured gatherings; that are no more than unflattering. Keep on pandering to what is hip; keep pampering your car so you can let it whip. Don't cut that red tape, keep censorship, remain primal apes, let yourself stay a slave to dictatorship. It's time to wake up, it's time to leap up, take off that make-up, this is no time to cake up or clean up what has already blown up. You can **** the man, but not the idea, you can ban it all you want, but it's bound to come out like diarrhea. This is just apart of the Diablo’s masquerade, to put me through the barren terrain, and when I feel like I’m almost through it; another barricade blocks me.

(Outro) But nothing can keep me from reaching my goals. You can knock me down, but I will get back up each time. I will no longer stay confined to the Diablo’s masquerade. I am done playing games. This is my life. This is my time to see change. This is my time to stay strange. This is my time, my moment, and I will own it.

Classy J Nov 2016

Vows

Watchful gaze, beautiful display, playful curiosity is this love game, got me lost like I'm in a maze. Twisting and turning, got that yearning, don't tease me girl with those mind games that got my heart a burning. Dangerous eyes, boy do I feel alive, love is in the air, got me swimming in the sky. Nothing distasteful, how could I ever become hateful with someone so loveable. Got the love fever, got me chasing ******, but once I got you, I promise that I will never leave yah. This is no phase, got to be careful; love can be as fragile as a vase. Powerful and independent, making boys cower, while men reserve to become your life resident. Not here to take control, I just want to help you steer life's wheel. I'm in it for partnership.

I'm in it for an eternal friendship, because that what makes a really strong healthy relationship. You are everything to me, how can you continue to be able to handle me. I really don't know, but I do know that you turned my stone heart to snow. One and only, won me over, don't need no four leaf clover, because being with you is like living in the land of Disney. Rely on me to be there for thee, you don't ever have to try to buy my loyalty. For this is just chemistry, can't deny it either, it's just elementary. You and me, truth and honesty, never have to lie to thee. As the world spins round, we stay bound together even after were buried into the ground.

Soul redeemer of this lowly dreamer, you have my back, and I got yours, it doesn't need to be Valentines Day for me to buy you some flowers. Forever and always till the end, whatever the endeavor, you know a hand we will lend. More than friends, no matter the bends or rough patches, our love stays strong and won't ever end. As I lay beside you with my head on your heart, I don't regret anything; yeah I will never want to have a restart. Everyday is an adventure, and as we venture forward our love will never be tainted, for our love is pure.

Classy J Nov 2016

Scars

**** had me torn, **** had me scorned; I'm one of the few people who knows how it feels to have on a crown of thorns. Scars on my hands, scars on my feet, had so many plans but they all are now obsolete. Beaten outwardly and inwardly, never had the liberty to be anything more, just a lamb in a world full of carnivores. I am not a God; I am just a man that constantly gets beaten by a rod. The rod of guilt, the rod of shame, I'm starting to wilt, and I got no one left to blame. Faking smiles while dealing with depression, dead on the inside, and barren outside by all the oppression. Just a frame for the bigger picture, maybe instead of focusing on fame, I should've focused on the scriptures. No I don't want to hear your lecture, not here to be a fisher of men, my structure is fine enough dear sir.

Now in conjunction let’s us say amen, let’s us stop with the pretend, this is our time to amend our past mayhem. Bruises on my skin, bruises on my bones, trying not to tailspin, trying to control my hormones. You don't need Sherlock Holmes to figure this **** out, there is no need to doubt, that it is not fun being treated like an expired trout. Can't you see these scars? Oh yeah that's right you to busy looking at the stars! Scars opened up by unlocking the wrong doors, scars piling up from all the years of being treated like a *****. Scars won by wars, scars from running through the fire, scars from peer pressure, and scars from all the held back tears.

So many scars, feels like I’m not even human, yeah I swear I'm an alien from mars. 'Hey, people have it worse than you', well that may be true, it's all relative until it happens to you! Do you know what I've been through? Do you know what it's like being in an environment of lions, when you're a caribou? That's right you have no clue, the worst thing some of yawl ever faced has been the flu. Where-as there is me, who no one takes the time of day to hear or see. Where-as there is me, the one everyone tried to treat because they thought I was a disease. Where-as there is me, and only me, nothing more than one of those 'natives' or in this case 'Cree'. Can't you see my scars? Were you not listening to these bars? Do I have to drop down on all fours for some exposure? Cause when you need help I am one of the first ones to be your boulder.

They say pain won't last, they say that I can get over it in other ways other than constantly getting smashed. Some say that the forecast will clear, that there is nothing to truly fear except for fear. Some scars don't heal, some leave you with Ptsd and if something sets you off you can relive that pain wheel. I wear my scars like they a badge, not prepared to throw it in the trash. My scars make me who I am, it's just another thing in my program. My scars help me relate with others with the same scars, it helps me realize that I'm not the only one dealing with these scars.

Classy J Nov 2016

Till I

They say I've been holding back, they can say all that they want man, I don't care, nor do I listen to that smack! *****, I'm so versatile, writing versus to wake you up from your own denial. You can compile a list of **** to present to the trial, dial 911, I don't care, it's not like I’m holding a gun; p.s when did this get so personal? I go above and beyond, I show love and forgiveness even to those that treated me like I didn't belong. Life is a ******* marathon; it's so easy to just give up because sometimes running towards that perfect life is like trying to find a leprechaun. I am just a black swan in a world full of white swans, and I’ve tried moving on, I’ve tried staying strong, but yet I still don't belong. Just an outlaw, trying to piece back my life together like it was a jigsaw. It just feels like I’m trying balance on some seesaw, just trying to balance all this **** while trying not to drive my self into the wall. Till my heart stops, till the beat drops, till the clock no longer tick tocks. Till the end, till I can no longer pretend, till I leave this state of mind and start to transcend.

Acrimonious precocious emotionless people only focused on their brokenness. Torn families and friends, **** won't happen by osmosis, sorry for my profanity, but if you could see through my lens you would realize that things aren't fully hopeless. Some people today are so boneless, now is a time to focus and notice our true wholeness. Burn out that closet, make a deposit in you, stop being so modest, go out and just treat yourself. Get back to business, stop fretting and slacking off, drinking out your sorrows with that Guinness. Can I get a witness? Shut the **** up fool, I definitely know what I’m talking about and my name sure as hell ain't Willis! A lot of yawl thinking you homeless; when you are actually blessed with living in this land of richness. I don't need 60 minutes to convince you that it's actually a good thing that you exist. Till my heart stops, till the beat drops, till the clock no longer tick tocks. Till the end, till I can no longer pretend, till I leave this state of mind and start to transcend.

Classy J Oct 2016

How I feel Right now

Step by step, breath by breath, I climb closer to death. Taking a pounding by life day by day, waking up and downing down another pill or drink because though it shiny outside, all I see is grey. Questioning life, questioning myself, hell I even question God, I know the drill, time for me to take another hit by the world's rod. How I wish to turn to sod, how I wish to just jump in front of the road. I don't complain, I just say the facts, can I get hit by a plane, or hide myself in between the cracks? Suicidal tendencies, I thought I was done with thee, and no I'm not telling you this for some kind of sympathy. I'm just being real, unleashed pandora's seal, feelings are harder for me to conceal. Unleashing my inner hulk, it's takes everything to keep on hoping instead of just sitting their and continue to sulk. Every day is a constant struggle, every day I keep having on to jump over these stupid hurdles. Caught in the rain, caught up in my pain, so many times I just wanted to put a bullet through my brains. Fire, Earth, Air and Rain, how can I manage these elements, how do I keep myself sane? Head says I'm a failure, it says I'm unworthy, that I'm a traitor, that I don't deserve mercy. On the picket fence, always playing defence, trying to figure out how to make this world make sense. Getting caught up in what I hate, feels like i'm starting to rot, is this just fate? Do what I say, not what I do, which way should I choose, if I am blind how do I fix my view? Am I to die this way? Am I to stay this way? How can one live if they're are starting to decay? How do I not go array, how do I know you won't leave me astray. How do I stay classy? How can I escape this shadowy valley? Writing out what my heart is saying, but my mind set is stuck and constantly swaying. Should I do this, should I do that, how can I attain bliss and never again hit the mat? Life isn't perfect, it takes awhile to even garner any person's respect. Life is what is what you make it, you either leave it or take it. Angels and demons, how do i remain faithful when I constantly do things that makes me no better than a heathen? These are the things I think about, I know one day I may finally get a touchdown. I'm resilient, don't worry I know that I'll hold out, you can try to punch me out, but you will never take me out!

Classy J Oct 2016

Classy Monkey

O-o-ah-ah, brain has gone bananas, no-no don’t touch the lava- lava.  Jumping around, monkeying around, sometimes you have to let loose and mess around. If fun is a crime then put my neck round the noose, lighten up and if your cheap, don’t worry I got some grey goose. Come in and be my bunk buddy, if you hit the skunk, I don’t mind as long as you are not tardy to the party. ****, this is my jam; my friends to me are my true FAM.  Curiosity mixed with personality, every now and again I find myself getting naughty. It’s that time for the beat to make you rock with us, couple more drinks, and you’ll be ready to party with us. Classy J the future class, got the intellect to respect, other wise I will flatten you on your ***.

Bull dozing through so yawl better move, don’t care if you cozy, got to show me you’re groove. Not joking around, do I look like a clown, take yawl to the pound and take this corrupt society down. Wow, this is new, who knew, that I could be as fresh as mountain dew, too wicked of a leader that there is no need for a cue. Good luck? Don’t need it, don’t even believe in it, I’m good with continually trudging on through this ****.  I got perseverance on my side, my appearance I will no longer hide. I got abilities, I adapt to my situation no matter the facility.  Don’t **** my mojo, hopping over all yaw with my pogo, let go of my leg yo, got a craving for some eggos.  So agile, yeah I built up defenses yet I still find myself scatter apart because everyone is a bit fragile. So kind, so generous, a role model to get behind, have to expand your bubble by being adventurous.

Hard hitting all yawl with real honesty, every time I write I throw out something out my closet and get more in tuned with my responsibility.  What is my priority, do I have a healthy anatomy, and am I truly acting out my ideology. Used to be easily frustrated, it didn’t take much to activate my buttons to make me aggravated. Now though I let my anger evaporate, now I have a mentally sound state.  I am at the stage of my life where I just say **** it, why should I really give a ****. Why should I let insecure fools get to me, why should I be anything more than who I choose to be.  My greatest strength and weakness is being loyal and faithful, it’s hard not to be hurt by betrayal, especially with people close to you; yeah that to me is even more disdainful. I see the good in people, I always believe that one day they may move on to their sequel. That’s why I always stress for yawl to be ambitious and confident, the rewards will be delicious as long as you are not fraudulent.

Classy J Oct 2016

Easy to Critique/Hard to be Original

What you looking at? You shouldn't be surprised! You knew what I was going to say. But whatever. Fine, go I don't care.

*** is wrong with you, do you know what I've gone through for you? We was a team, making c.r.e.a.m, I guess our love really was a dream. Mo' money mo' problems, I once thought we could solve em. Everyone just likes to critique, filled with so much expectation, how could I ever become your boutique? It's Hard to be original, it's hard to become phenomenal, when my best works are looked at as minimal. When we first meet I was convinced it was miracle, but now I see that your despicable. Love never flourished, I was blinded by the moment, which now I find my self so malnourished. Crumbling, stumbling towards the unheard of, I gave my all, and all I got in return was being knocked out with your boxing glove.

It's so easy for you to critique me, to try to obliterate me, to find another model to obsolete me. It's so hard for me to stay original, when society wants to hear sell outs, and doesn't care if you're a creative individual. I go out of my way, I put my effort in it each and everyday. Writing these bars, letting you hear my heart, and somehow I’m not even deemed a star. I open up, I lift you up, but that is never enough, should I just give up? Is that what you want? I never realized that I was just your stunt. Green dress, green shoes, everything is green, just a routine, in this world but not of it, yeah I’m caught in the between. It’s so easy to critique my physic, it’s so easy to group me in with the geeks.

I am trying to be original, saying the unthinkable, not here looking for forgiveness, or trying to go all biblical. If you look really hard, you may find the earth richness, if you really try, you can eventually find stillness. I don’t claim to be anything then I already am, not some shady scam, nor am I here to ****. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter if what I say is true, a lot of you would rather walk onto that lack luster same **** alleyway. It’s easy to critique, but you must take time to hear me speak, instead of just writing me off as some freak. It’s so hard to be ******* original in this day and age, it’s so ******* hard to keep having things to write down on the page. It’s so hard to memorize the words I say, it’s even harder when all eyes are on you, man sometimes it feels like all I am is prey. It’s easy to critique, but you don’t know what I go through, sometimes it’s takes every ounce of hope for me to go through the week. It’s so hard to be original, it’s so hard to be proud and proclaim myself as aboriginal.

It’s just too easy to criticize me though isn’t it? It’s just too hard for you to not look at the good, and just point out the bad isn’t it? I’ll do this even if no one listens to it, I do this because I chose to commit. I do this for me, and in a way for you, if only you could see. The man, the story, the outcast, had a plan, never will say sorry, and you bet I’m resilient, all this hate I can just brush past. All these critique’s and naysayers I will outlast, not only do I got layers, but I am also a steadfast individual who will never be a typecast.