how could he do this
how could god do this
is there even a god
how could he do everything to me
why me
why did it have to be me to bear all this pain
get one taken from you
and another one get buried six feet
why did it have to be me to go through everything
why did it have to be me to have no talents
why me
why was i chosen to be like this
why do i have to watch everyone live my dreams
why do i have to watch everyone love someone while i’m forced to sit back
why couldnt i be given something
something good
anything
besides this pain.

I’ve already missed out
on so much
on being a brother
because if one person
who couldn’t see what they were doing
why would you rip apart a family like that
you’re the judge
but it seems like you didn’t judge hard enough
and because of you
my book
my story
my life
went down hill
and now
i have neither of my sisters
to laugh with or
to talk to
because of one
person

What’s my purpose
why am i here
what am i supposed to do
what am i supposed to accomplish
she was good at everything
everything
and me?
i guess you could say
i’m good at
breathing?
why was i brought here
what am i supposed to do with my life

Life
its the greatest risk we can take
one moment you could be having the time of your life
the next?
you lie in a pool of blood

I dont love you anymore


and that was the last i heard of him

I miss that feeing
that feeling of joy
with you
i wish i wouldn’t have taken it for granted
I miss that feeling
the feeling of us
together
I miss that feeling
the feeling of nothing
not having worries
I miss that feeling
the feeling of taking it for granted
being there with you
I miss that feeling
the feeling of you
you and me
I miss that feeling
i miss that smile
your smile
I miss that feeling
the feeling of-
of you
and I wish I didn’t take it for granted

Not again
why do you have to make me feel this way
why do you have to make me laugh
why do you have to make me scared
again

why do i still fall for you
over and over
even though
i know you don’t feel the same

Seriously?
it’s like a game
that my heart forces me to play
and makes me feel the pain

of you