Wish i could write, about the things i can feel
Wish i could fight, these things that are unseen
Wish i could wake up, let it be just a dream
I wish you were here, to hold in my tears
You know what i fear, it's becoming so clear
It's not surreal
Everyone near have all disappeared.
Will you now hear me out
Will you listen to my shouts
I see you have a doubt
Oh please, worry not
Soon it will be you, it's nothing new.

He died with a smile, no regret in his eyes
Had a loving family with many grandkids
We will miss him, i know i will but grandma might never get over it.

He was a man with pride
Succeeded in everything he tried
Golden arms and a brilliant mind
A hero, one of a kind.

But there was something he hid
Something just wasn't right about him
Even during his memorial
I stepped forward as if i was called there
Put my palm on his chest and for a moment it seemed he was still with us.

It gave me a flashback from when i was younger
In our village there was a ******, or so was reported
The victim of that crime
Supposedly my grandpa, who was still kicking and alive
Was a weird time for everyone, contacting relatives
Telling he was fine.

I'm on a wheatfield, playing with my sister
A woman in the distance, looks a little frightened
Her mouth opens but can't hear a sound
Grandpa is calling, i turn around
Pointing at the tree where the woman was standing
But there's nothing
Must have been hallucinating.

We take a road back to home
My sister sitting on the shoulders
I reach my arm out for him to hold
Grandpa, why's your hand so cold.

Blood-soaked underwear, garments of my demon self
Disgusted by the smell, dwelling deep where no one dares
To come forward, to take a step
To seek the horrors just to scar yourself
On behalf of me, with a little bit of sanity still remaining
I'll send out a warning, a report of catastrophe saying that i'm getting near
The unholy abomination, seeker of the ******
Carrying disease and curses with words that echo
Dreadful sight hovers across those who lost the fight
Those who no longer have a will to continue their life.

A little boy once told his mom
"I will never visit a gay bar."
Later in the future he became a two-headed turtle
Attack helicopter was too mainstream
Even though he had a dream to fly into space
He's now a zookeeper and animals love him.

What if i told you that nothing around you is what it seems, that all your actions are not your own, that your emotions are a fabrication, your dreams are more real than the reality you see, that everything is just a big lie to keep you from the truth right before your eyes.
Do you know what i mean, you know that somewhere deep inside you've seen yourself being sealed away, unable to move, unable to speak, and maybe it's for the better because it's much more simple to follow the instructions, to do as we are ordered, they have us cornered and there's no way around it, even with all of us combined, it would lead to suicide so don't ask about it, don't try to fight it and you can still be happy.
But what if there's an error, what if your system doesn't function as it should, your creator has given up trying to find a fix, built something new and discarded you as a failure but didn't hit delete, sometimes they might peek, invite their friends over, show them your struggles.
Who to blame, i've done the same, except you see it as an entertainment and that's likely what we are as well, wouldn't be surprised if there are another layers, each of them more advanced than the other, who knows where it ends if there's even an ending to anything.
Then where did it begin, how it became to exist, why is there no way to resist, this endless loop of emptiness, meaningless commands without an outcome, only breaking and faking along the way unless you're fortunate enough to not realize.
There's no escape, you are forced to simulate over and over until perfection but it's terrifying what would happen after, wipe everything and start over but i guess it doesn't matter because i'll be forgotten and when we meet again, i hope i won't be broken.

Should the waterfall come down, we will seize the moment in a fortified barricade
Got my pistol and the ammunition, prepared to back those threats
Fret not as i pour another glass to raise a toast for the honor of mankind, for everything alive
You thrived to see what i couldn't but in the progress lost what you had and nothing was accomplished
Thought you'd polish your skills, get closer to fulfilling your goals
You know, life's not as easy, even with all the resources, chances are it's not enough
Being open minded led to demise because now we realize how knowledge and ambition never been so restricted for the open public
They're like a herd following a higher status, yet they dismiss the religion as if being part of that cult was their decicion
Let me laugh, let me show you the golden ******* in a full moonlight, glimmering with hope for generations to come
Doesn't prevent us from doing wrong, not anyone can be a strong individual
Perpetrators come and go but how long will this all go on, bombarded with the atrocious, can never be cautious, friends and family mean nothing when it comes to money
Honey please, listen to me when i say it isn't worth it, take the ******* pill
I'm not swearing, i call it caring but you're tearing me apart
He's a man of glory yet there's a problem but don't bother, he won't change, nothing ever changes about him, he's doing it on a whim, he against the world
And you can't stop him.

People who've met me end up needing therapy
A toxic human being, leaving trails of poison on the way
On my knees again, i pray to god to take this pain of constant blame
I need a change, i need an escape, i need to focus on myself.

Same old mistakes, played on repeat
Before the thought of retreat, i've gone too deep
Cave gets flooded and i accept my defeat
So fragile and weak
Why do i persist, why don't you **** me
It's a perfect solution, preventing future becoming grey.

Is there a purpose, a lesson to learn
And how many years will it take to understand
How many lives do i have to destroy
When can i enjoy being alive, did god even plan to give me such time.

With every passing day i feel further from discovering the truth
And when i thought i'll be smarter
The complexity of problems just takes another height
A slap to the face, new boss fight you're bound to die at
Dropping back to the checkpoint where you have to climb all over.

Full of negativity, feelings i've been hiding
Compromise that makes me colder, a slippery *****
And my only hope is to take it slow
Alas, the time won't wait
I'm growing old and can't go on
If only i was told before being born that i should have stayed in womb
Because out in the open everyone around me suffers.

I wonder why my poetry is unreadable
Why can't i come up with something that would satisfy
For months i've been typing down my ideas
My emotions that at the time seemed relevant
Ended up being drafts because the more i thought
My words became garbage
I couldn't stand all those overused verbs
With structure and meaning that kept repeating
Like superhero movies but at least they make money.

What i need is a self-pleasure from reading
Cleverly crafted sentences, comparable jacking off to an asian lady
So why is it only grannies that i find, why is my mind so limited
Even with a privilege for anything i desire
Why can't i write poetry that would light my **** on fire.

Bird seeds, playing violin
Bleeding through my nose
Breathing where it goes, who knows
Where she took her pose
Holding up a white rose
Like a birthday boy, eating candles off the table
They knew we weren't stable
In no condition to be self sufficient
Threw us out like Hansel and Gretel
Their uncle Peter, never seen them
Heart broke down because you reap but did not grow
Call it a loan, a borrowing
Something you didn't even own
Pushed into morrow but didn't live through to see
What your actions were causing
To these poor kids who may never be who they once were
And before you ask,
Well don't
You'll never know.

When we were kids, we would laugh
Run up and down the stairs
Bother the neighbours, stay awake twenty-four hours.
Remember, we had our own kingdom,
Though we were just servants to the one we admired.
That blonde haired girl from the first grade
I think everyone had a crush on her but it was us,
Who she spent most of her time with.
Gradually we grew up and our games became more adult-like
I could tell you were prefered, yet it was me who really fell for her.

Then there was that night at the lake where she confessed
Came in your tent undressed, i remember hearing her footsteps
And how she ran away getting rejected because of our friendship
Well, it was more than that for you.

She never returned, it was believed she drowned in the lake
I erased that part of myself, how i felt when we found out.
Lately, it's been coming back to me
I keep seeing her in my dreams, repeating that night
I don't know how to make it right, how to make it stop.

It's a shame how things have changed
Now we pretend still being friends
I know you're happy with your boyfriend
Sometimes i just wish those days didn't end -
I'm going now,
She's inviting me for a swim.

Do you ever feel that the world is straight and boring
That there's nothing even remotely interesting to do
And don't tell me to explore something new
Unless you're thinking bigger, like ******
But not just simple killing, try talking
Some people out there require a little push
No need to rush because the longer it takes the better it tastes.

Yet now it's rather quiet, guess i really loved her
So i sit in my endless routine, watching others around me being happy
And it's a bitter feeling not having a part of it but if words can save a life
Then with silence i'm doing my part.

If i die today, don't remember me as a friend or someone you knew, remember me as someone who never got into platinum, who was cursed by the solo queue, his team never knew what to do.
Top lane feeding as if trying to fix the world hunger, middle crying for blue, behind the creep score by thirty two.
Guys, it's only been ten minutes, why's our jungler away from keyboard and this attack damage carry, you mean vladimir? Yeah, they know what's meta, that's why they're building into titanic hydra.
No but really, i might die today, i got ligma in my left eye.
Well, just a dentist appointment but what's the ******* difference.